Is it bad etiquette to have a second baby shower?

Question

I am pregnant with my second child. My little boy is 4 1/2 years old and I am almost 5 months pregnant. My dads wife is throwing me a baby shower and I am afriad to invite my in-laws because they made a comment about how rude it is to have another one. I did not ask to have another shower but it would be great. I find out in a few weeks if its a boy or a girl and if its a girl then I am definatly going to need to have a shower. My thoughts are to just enjoy my shower without them. It will be five years since I had my son and I think that is long enough to have another shower. Please help me, I have to deal with enough from my in-laws and this is just one more thing for them to hate me for.

Answer 1

You will definitely need new things even if you have another boy. Baby things have changed in the past 5 years. Even if your inlaws don't agree, have your stepmom send them an invitation anyway. Don't give them another reason to complain. If you don't send them an invitation, they'll keep bringing it up at every family gathering. Don't fuel the fire.

If they don't show and make any more negative comments about the shower, your stepmom and your dad will know as well as those who attend the shower. Your inlaws will make themselves look bad. What kind of grandparents are they?

Don't worry about their opinion of you. If my inlaws did that to me, they would have to bend over backwards for me if they want to see their grandchildren.

Answer 2

Baby shower etiquette dictates that a woman is entitled to a second shower ONLY for a change-of-life baby (i.e., first child is a teenager [or even older] and the woman becomes pregnant at a later age) because at this point, certain items (car seat, crib, high chair, etc.) are old and outdated and not safe anymore.

If your dad is throwing you this shower, explain your situation to him about the inlaws, and also why it's not proper to have a second shower. I guess if you want, you can leave the inlaws out and invite only your family and friends. Those who are truly offended by your second baby shower just won't attend--no harm done there.

Answer 3

You didn't ASK or hint around like crazy for this shower, right? You can hardly beat a potential shower-giver around the head and say, "NO, no, no, no....it's a violation of etiquette for me to have a second shower!"
If the intent is "let's get together, have fun, and fill in a few gaps for the baby"---sounds great, and ask the shower-givers to consider leaving the inlaws off the invite list.
Don't forget to write the thank-you notes!

Answer 4

I think it is wonderful that your step-mother is giving you a shower. I say invite the in-laws and if they choose to come, fine, if not, oh well.

5 years is a large gap inbetween children and there are lots of new items on the market that you may not have had when you were pregnant before.

Enjoy your shower with a clear conscience. Think of all the second marriages that people have bridal showers for.

Answer 5

Most people these days have second and third showers. Why don't you invite people that didn't come the first time. This way you don't have to deal with the rude in-laws and those that missed the first time get to celebrate with you. Don't let them ruin a good time for you.

Answer 6

It's perfectly ok to have another baby shower, there are no rules about the limit on your celebration of your children, honey. Come on, if your dad's wife wants to throw you one, and that makes you happy, by all means have it! I would not invite your inlaws either, but consult with your husband about that because you don't want him to think that you're excluding his family out of rudeness. Explain the situation to him, and I am sure he'll agree with me.

Answer 7

Then have a shower and invite those who are happy to attend, and leave out the in-laws.

Answer 8

yes