Did I screw up? Love...?

Question

My guy and I have known each other and been more than friends for over 6 months. About 3 weeks ago we actually decided to try a real relationship. We've been through a lot together (family stuff). We've also had a couple of big fights where we should have hated each other, but just couldn't. Once the air cleared we actually wound up closer each time. Both of these occured before we actually decided to be together. We are both completely happy. That is what actually got us together, the fact that we make each other happy and we feel good when we are around each other. Being that this is basically six months in the making, I have developed feelings for him.I love him, and I made the mistake of saying it. I was trying to jokingly do it to ease the tension, but that didn't work and I had to blurt it out after some confusion, and his response "It's too soon for me". I can understand that, everyone is different, but did I screw up...are we doomed?

Answer 1

No you're not doomed. The chances are he feels the same way about you but is affraid to admit it. Some men and women are affraid to take that emotional plunge into the roller coaster ride of love and life. Help to ease him into it. Maybe you should tell him why you said u love him and how. You know a full explanation. And be real about it. Cuz I think he loves you too but is too scared to admit it. I hope it all works out.

Answer 2

1 screw up does not a doomed relationship make.
First, you said you guys were friends before right?
I don't know about you, but I love my friends- but it doesn't mean I'm IN Love with them. You may want to be sure about which kind of love it is before you go further.
If you are In Love with him, then express to him that you understand that it is fast, it is soon, and you don't expect him to say it back unless he really feels that way. Take the pressure off. Don't let an awkward moment spoil a good thing.

Answer 3

No, you didn't screw up. He is probably aware of how you feel towards him anyhow, but like he said, it's too soon for him. There's nothing wrong in staying friends. Taking things further takes you both down another path, and if he isn't ready, then don't pressure him. No your not doomed, because the friendship you have together means something to him.

Answer 4

Not necessarily. He just isn't ready yet and at least he told you the truth. Better that then to tell you he loves you when he doesn't really mean it.
Is he still acting the same as he was before you said it? If he is, then I'd just let it go and not mention it again.
But don't let him drag you on forever either. After a year or so in what you consider a serious relationship, he should be able to tell you he loves you and be telling the truth about it. If he says he's still not ready, you best be willing to pack your bags and move on. If after a year he hasn't committed to you, then more than likely, he isn't going to.

Answer 5

No your not doomed. I am actualy in a simular situation. I am with a guy who was a really good friend to me for months, I went threw some real difficult times includign loosing my mother in wich he was the only one really there for me. I was very confused and un sure to beguin with when he asked to make it a serious relationship, but i figured i would give it a try. The very next day he told me he loved me, i was defently not ready for that and it freaked me out. we have been official for neirly 3 months now and the I love you thing is not a problem. so just give it time. it will be ok.

Answer 6

If you're 'doomed' because of that he's not the one for you. The right guy wouldn't penalize you for your feelings. And honestly think about it, do you really LOVE HIM? I define love as friendship, on fire... how good of friends are you? Is your relationship strictly physical attraction or more than that? The only thing you can do is be yourself, express your feelings, and let him do the rest. If that's not good enough then tell him to take a flying flip... find the guy for loves you for everything that you are, and everything you're not.

Answer 7

If you have been together for 6 months+ then no that is not too soon at all for you to have those feelings. If you do feel that way then you should have said it. But if he feels that it's "too soon" for him then maybe ease off on it. Don't tell him again until he tells you. Sometimes it takes guys longer not necessarily to feel the same way but to admit that they do. Guys aren't usually as open with their feelings as women are. : ( I hope this helps! ^_^

Answer 8

I'd trust a guy who didn't say the love word quicker than one who said it too easy. Keep the "L" word to yourself. You know you love each other as friends. Taking it to a higher level is risky, so ease up and enjoy the dating process. It's supposed to be the fun time of learning about each other.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I don't believe you are doomed. You guys seem so great and perfect for each other. It's okay if you speak your feelings, but if it's too soon for him, give him some time. Don't give up just yet. I hope the best for you two =)