I m married since 6yrs.Have probs with sis in law.pls help.?

Question

I m married since 6yrs.When i came to dubai 6yrs back,my behaviour was normal,i was myself.But it has changed now,i m not myself anymore.the reason is my sis in law(hubbys elder sis).she is a hardcore over smart lady,talks v sweetly & attracts EVERYONE'S attention towrds her easily.People also feel she is v smart.No doubt abt this but she has been acting smartly wid me n using me without any reason n making me feel inferior in front of all.I used to fear if i gave her bak,she wud complain to my parents n they wud be TENSED.i dont want that to happen.I let go things,never said no for anyting,made her use me n stuff.All in her credit till today.I feel its high time that i m letting her use me.I m not ME in front of anyone.I feel inferior in front of her n in front of others too when she is with me.I feel LOW.But when she is not with me I am normal with others.WHY is it so?WHAT do i do to change myself?SHUD I NOT THINK ABT MY PARENTS N GIVE HER BACK?pls suggest AS IT IS AFECTING MY HEALTH

Answer 1

Everyone has a weakness. Find hers and explore it.

Answer 2

Please understand ones for all that no one in this world can use anyone without the persons willingness to be used.No one can take advantage of anyone without ones consent.this is a fact of life which one has to accept.You can say that she is acting smart and flirting with people but how does this affect you? Her behaviour does not make you small .It is in your mind that you feel inferior to her.sooner or later this smart allic of a woman would find her match. let nature take its own course and she would be in difficulty.Why you want to spoil your life and good karma let the nature do things for you in a normal course, which will keep you in good health.Further since you react to her behaviour ( You may not say anything but she can make out that you are not happy from your facial expressions) this encourages her. Therefore patience and quitetude is the mantra for you which will see you through, Remember hasteand anger makes waste.

Answer 3

first you need to relax and talk and ask if she is okay. after a while when you are a bit more comfortable in each others company you take off her jewellery. and kiss her forehead (islamically) take hair from her fringe and there is a dua u need to pray (look it up). Both must make wudu now. And then pray 2 rakat nifl namaz together, the man should be a bit more forward than the lady. Not with jamaat. and btw it is not necessary to have sex on the first night. Then no one can tell you what to do..just make sure you are covered when you have sex, no anal sex, no oral sex, no talking during sex, cant see her privates either. man on top is recommended. you can do other pos. tho. good luck and congrats =]

Answer 4

Hey, yes like everyone else have told, i too feel you shud stop her taking your self respect for a ride ! You shud have spoken at the 1st time only yaar, that's ok !! Happened is happened but now keep a full stop to it. I know some women are like that think themself to be too smart & great ! Let her be what she is but she has no right to make you bend down for her. Tell what you have tell, enough is enough !!

Answer 5

I think that no matter who u r around u need to be urself-who do they know to love if ur not. as far as feeling inferior around her u shouldn't, u r bigger then her in the fact that u have not done or said anything to her to make her feel the way she makes u feel. I think if u have a good enough relationship with ur parents to let them know how she makes u feel then i would do it privately then give it back when necessary. and i m sure they will understand.

Answer 6

I think you need to take the bull by the horns so to speak and tell this woman straight that your nobodys fool and enough is enough, get back your self respect and stand up for yourself dont let her undermine you and make you feel inferior. Dont worry about your parents reaction, think of no.1, thats you !

Answer 7

Hi Simi, It was good to know that there are people from Dubai also who post question & sorry to know about your situation.
I think You can very well understand that in Dubai, everbody is somethin& they project themselves somethin else, I think if u a sindhi or gujrati then its even worse.
Well my suggestion to you is that you now try different tricks to bring your self confidence back ,get her tit for Tat & try to take your husband into confidence(but this has to be done gradually).

I am also from Dubai if you need me in any way , I can help you too

Answer 8

Do not worry about anybody else. And your focus should be you, your health, your peace. Your parents may get agitated after this incident reaching their home. But, you have to give her back by straight slapping her, whenever she tries to act smart before you in front of others and not alone.
Be courageous and fight out the situation by yourself. Nobody is interested in your health but you and your consciousness (i.e.GOD).

Answer 9

You need to let your husband know that his"Elder Sister" is giving you a hard time and you don't appreciate it. If that doesn't work then next time your before her, in front of everyone ask her what her problem is, embarrass her in front of all before you.

Answer 10

you should always be yourself and you should never be a door mat for anyone .there are respectful ways to give her hers so that no one gets tensed .you shouldn't have let her do it the first time. you are inferior to none except GOD . YOU DISRESPECTED YOURSELF stop get your self esteem back and tell her where she can get off.

Answer 11

My answer is very short. Have guts man. Whom are you afraid of. What is your relation with her and why you are inferior to her. Since how many years. Do you have some illicit (Incest) relation with her. Show guts is my final answer