Why do people judge single parents?

Question

I am a single parent with three kids, people on here love to slate single Mums. I work full time, own car, own house well behaved, clean happy intelligent children. What is the problem? How about the Absent parents (usually fathers) that left their children in the first place, why don't people slate them!!

Leerobo, I was not slating absent fathers, but absent parents!! My best friend is a single father so I know women do leave too.

Answer 1

Good question. And while I agree that the best situation to raise children is a home with 2 loving parents, I'm realistic enough to know that's not always possible. And you're absolutely right, parents who leave their children for whatever reason, and don't fulfill their responsibilities toward them are the real people to slam, not the parent left behind holding the ends. My hat goes off to you, and all other single parents who are filling the roles of both mother AND father.

Answer 2

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a single parent, actually I commend you. It's very difficult raising kids with 2 parents, and having been seperated from my husband for 6 months when my son was just 6 months old, I can tell you that being a single mom is the hardest job in the world. I am lucky that my husband and I worked things out, and it was just a small period of time that I was on my own. It was very difficult. The men who abandoned their children should be slaughtered really, if you ask me. They are equally responsible for creating the child, and should be equally responsible for the care. I cannot imagine how they can just walk away from such a miracle, how can they just turn off the feeling of being a parent? It's strange how they can just leave and feel nothing.....I know that moms can't do that, so what is it about the men, they are lacking something in their brains, I guess.....

Answer 3

Well, technically we aren't married, but we are in a two-parent household. Honestly I haven't noticed so much that a child is from a two-parent or single-parent household. What I've noticed that if the father is active in the child's life they seem to be happier. There are two little girls in my daughter's day care class who always cry and won't play much and (while I shouldn't know this about them) one has a father who just went to jail, and the other's father works away from home. The one who's father works away from home doesn't give any money to his wife or two children (they were living in a van until the day care asked for donations anonymously and gave them enough money to move into a low-income home). So, while some kids come from homes where the parents are married it doesn't necessarily mean they are any better adjusted. My boyfriend and I aren't married. We're raising two girls (his 6 year old lives with us full time), and are expecting another. We have strong parenting beliefs and we're both very active in our children's lives. I volunteer at our 6 year old's school and our 4 month old's day care when I have time. He makes sure to read to them every night and we eat as a family every night. Even a single parent can make sure to do things "family oriented." So I don't think there's much of a difference. I live in the Southwest U.S.

Answer 4

Not all single parents are bad people. I have asked a question about this myself. I have as sister who has two boys from two different men. She doesn't even know who the father is to the second one. The father of the first is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. He is a loser in himself. One of the guys up for fatherhood is a fat slob wannabe wrestler. The third one is a DJ who left her high and dry while they were planning their wedding. She is not a good mother either. She only gave her first child a bath about once a week, and only used baby wipes if they were dirty. She also didn't change the diaper often and it got so bad that it would turn into a yellow crust on his skin. The second child has been in the hospital of about a week and a half. His trachea doesn't close properly or something. He has to stay on oxygen and has very bad breathing problems. He also has acid reflux that has already damaged his esophagus and he is not even three months old yet.

Answer 5

Well I would say you are in a small minority. You obviously have other people looking after your children. But the main reason single parents are slated is that they get often pregnant without any consideration for the future, and then expect the state to provide them with housing and fags for the next 20 years. I don't know of any girl, who being single and getting pregnant, has gone on to get a job and buy her own house until the baby is long grown up.

Having said that, I'm in full agreement that the fathers are equally culpable, but don't get the same flak.

Answer 6

I agree w/ you! I have nothing but respect for single parents...I am a military wife (to a currently deployed husband) and I don't know how you do it!! People judge other people for lots of reasons...they are ignorant, they have REALLY boring lives, they are JEALOUS of all you have accomplished...I could go on forever. You just keep on doing what you're doing, sounds like you have probably earned the title of SUPERMOM, that probably makes some "non-single parents" a little envious, huh? Good job! Don't let someone else's stupid opinion get you down! And you're right, the absent parent gets off too easy! Hang in there!

Answer 7

Most people live in the "Leave it to Beaver" world. Back then everyone had 2 parents, mom stayed home and cooked and cleaned in high heals and pearls.
If you look close at the people who are judging you lives even with 2 parents it is not so. And I have eliminated the fighting in front of the children by kicking out the problem!
I have 4 kids 2 graduated high school attending college and 2 other straight A students. I enjoy spending time with my kids and believe this is a much better life than what we had in the past. No child support. Just me. They judge you and are delusional!

Answer 8

I am a teenager and my mum is a single parent.I don't do drugs and come home pregnant-more than I can say for someone I know with married parents. Most of the people I know who are very clever and in top sets at shcool come from single parent families.
In the WW1 and WW2 when the men were away most children were raised by 1 parent and not all the babies turned into pycotic murderers.
I completely agree with you and support you.

Answer 9

Because you are the minority! You are representing a group that is not the stereotypical single mum. A single mum is usually a person, who goes out gets pregnant by every tom, dick and harriett then claims money for 4 kids whilst she's sitting at home watching telly and having a laugh with other single mums who are just the same. They all have badly behaved kids who are just as vile as their mothers. People who work for a living pay taxes that go on these scroungers, while that money should go on treating little old ladies and gentlemen who worked all their lives and now they are pensioners and can't afford to go abroad for private treatment. You shouldn't ask this question in their name because you are not one of them, so this does not apply to you. As the good, old saying goes: 'Every rule has an exception' and you are that exception. So don't take it to heart and carry on doing what you are doing.

Answer 10

People always try to find things wrong with other people to make them feel good about their self. They think that all the single parents are no good losers sponging off the state and only did it because they are useless at anything and this is the only way that they can think to get around the problem. But as you have told us there are exceptions to the rule and the whingers don`t like it when a success story come along because there's nothing to moan about. As for the absent fathers, people do complain, and I have to hold my hands up at this as I`m one of them, about how much single mothers are paid in benefits, family allowance etc, etc as I am under the impression that`s where some of my tax money goes because absent fathers either can`t or won`t pay for the lives that they have helped create and bring into the world. I`ve never claimed the dole in my life and had a very brief spell on the sick two years ago when I broke my right leg in two places.

Answer 11

I only judge single parents from the standpoint that often times they are doing the work of two people themselves. If they're able to hold it all together, they are remarkable individuals! I'm a single father myself, who has never once shorted my child. In some cases I have even portrayed that my daughter is even more lucky than some of those children that have their parents together! How, you might ask? Because my daughter has TWO families that love her, as opposed to only one! Being a single parent CAN be difficult, make no mistake about it. Being a single parent, there's nothing that you miss as your child or children grow up, which can be very rewarding as well. If you're a single parent, and holding it together, I would in fact judge you... in a very good way! :)