they dont help themselves,theyre stop from growing 2 continue learning ,if they got sick or have a problem financially they asking help which they usually do.
2006-08-22 03:39:00 · 10 answers · asked by kolcenter 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In this world there will always be people who are willing to take everything you are willing to give. And sadly, when you've given all you can, and you need them to give in return, suddenly they will be hard to find. The only way to fix this is by saying "no." It's the hardest thing in the world to say. You can also say, "I wish I could, but I can't this time." You don't have to offer explanations. If they ask why, just say, "I just can't this time. I have good reasons, but they're personal and I don't really want to share them." Remind them they have your love. If they walk away angry and gripe about you, they're not appreciating what you do anyway.
2006-08-25 19:27:27 · answer #1 · answered by Mark L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear the term "tough love". When someone has a problem, whether it be financially, alcohol, drugs, whatever, they will NEVER get help/grow up/take responsibility until they are forced to do so. Stop enabling them and try to talk the rest of the family into doing that, also. These relatives need to grow-up and stop looking to others to solve things. If no one else in the family will do this, than you do so and tell the others you are no longer part of the "enabling" chain. Then let it go and don't get upset when you hear of others helping. By then it will be none of your business what happens between the others and they won't come crying to you when once again they get disappointed by the deadbeats.
2006-08-22 10:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If helping them is prohibiting you from taking care of yourself, there is a problem. Even if it's just relaxing and having mental health break. It doesn't have to be physical. If they are hounding you and you are unable to help at that time, tell them you have other obligations and unable to help. I say no to people even when I can at times, but most of the time I'm willing and able to help someone. I make sure I am well enough and in the right position to be helping someone else. If you do not take care of yourself, who else is going to?
2006-08-22 11:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a limitation to how much you help family. Where u start enabling your family members. You can't be responsible for fulling functioning adults. Trying be there for everyone else when there is no on there for you can and will grow to be stressful. They need to learn to stand on their own two feet and not on top of yours.
2006-08-22 11:26:29 · answer #4 · answered by jonesty1284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aren't relatives fun? Some people never learn, as much as you want them to. The easiest way is just say "NO!" I had to start doing it and it works. You dont have to give excuses or feel bad.
2006-08-22 10:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by Juligrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u keep on helping them they will never learn how 2 help them self's its like having a baby that never learns how to walk because u carry hem all the time in your lap!The only way u cane help them with out saying no is 2 help them find help but don't help them directly.
2006-08-22 10:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start talking about your financial problems, how it's hard to pay for gas, electricity, tell them your bank account is overdrawn, whatever it takes to let them know that the well has run dry ... even if it hasn't. Get these leeches off your back before they drain you dry.
2006-08-22 10:47:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say NO They need to solve their own problems. Sounds like users to me.
2006-08-22 10:46:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say no. You cannot keep putting yourself out to help people that refuse to help themselves. It isn't your place or duty to.
2006-08-22 10:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHEN IT COMES TO FAMILY THERE IS REALLY NO LIMIT AS TO HELPING THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE FAMILY! BUT YOU COULD BE SUBTLE AS TO SAYING LOOK I HAVE BILLS TOO OR THAT YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PRESSING ISSUES THAT YOU MAY NEED HELP WITH, BUT IF YOU ARE ABLE TO HELP THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE IN NEED THEN DO IT WITH A KIND HEART, YOU WILL BE BLESSED
2006-08-22 10:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by Wisline F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋