hey i fell in love with this guy who i got engaged to after a month of knowing him. now i found out that he still talks to his ex girlfriend who was his first love and she is engaged to some guy as well as other girls that are just his friends. he even talks to them on the phone and txt msgs them and e-mails them, msgs such as i miss you, i like you etc. i've asked him to promise to god that he doesn't talk to anyone in an intimate way and he has. i don't know what to do...help please.
2006-08-22 03:28:51 · 57 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Better get un-engaged fast Hon.
2006-08-22 03:33:22 · answer #1 · answered by kristycordeaux 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Firstly if this guy respected you and believed that you were the only girl in the world for him then he should not be sending his ex messages like that because the average person doesn't send those types of messages unless there is an ulterior motive. Secondly who got engaged first the ex or you guys? that is important because if she got engaged first then I'm sorry to say but your engagement is obviously only a tactic he is using to get back at the ex. You deserve someone who can devote his attentions to you not some ex girlfriend or any other floozy he happens upon. I'd dump his sorry a** you have a right to be happy.
2006-08-22 03:42:47 · answer #2 · answered by gypsywife2b 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's just using you to make his ex jealous. He probably has no intention of getting married. At least not to you. Dump his sorry @ss. You can do better.
Another thing to watch out for is becoming engaged to someone you don't know very well. Don't be flattered into accepting any proposal that comes along. A solid relationship takes time to build.
Having a long talk won't solve the problem. He will say what you want to hear and continue to do what he wants to do. He doesn't love you. He's using you. You are his pawn. Set yourself free. Cut your losses. Dump him.
Most of the answers agree. Don't ignore the collective intelligence on this site.
2006-08-22 03:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may as well dump the guy because you will never be able to trust someone when he tells his ex that he still misses here and who knows what else they do and say when you aren't around to hear it..
He isn't commited to you.. so how could you love someone like that.?
Hand his ring back and tell him to go to her.. I bet she don't really want him just trying to cause problems but that would be a way to get rid of her .. and or mess up there engagement to when her fella finds out she is still talking to your guy..
good luck with what ever you decide to do.. there are plenty of nice guys out there that still aren't in love with there ex's .. remember she is an ex for a reason.. find out from her why she left him and then decide if you want to take the same chances with him.. sounds like a cheater to me.. the worst kind of guy...
2006-08-22 03:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
at first if this guy respected you and believed which you have been the only female in the international for him then he should not be sending his ex messages like that because of the fact the undemanding individual would not deliver those forms of messages till there is an ulterior purpose. Secondly who have been given engaged first the ex or you adult males? it is substantial because of the fact if she have been given engaged first then i'm sorry to assert yet your engagement is obviously in basic terms a tactic he's making use of to get returned on the ex. You deserve somebody who can commit his attentions to you no longer some ex female buddy or the different floozy he happens upon. i might unload his sorry a** you have a top to be satisfied.
2016-10-02 09:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is obviously NOT okay! Yes, people can have friends, but friends of the opposite sex should have limitation. Once you're in a serious relationship, your emotional commitment needs to be only for that person. It is much too easy to get into a situation of an emotional affair if these limits aren't upheld. I would have a sit down with your fiancee, and let him know where you stand and why.
Also, you need to set limits and stick with them. Let him know that it's not right for him to have conversation like this with other women. If he loves you he won't want to hurt you, or the relationship in anyway.
If he isn't willing to change, then things will only get worse after marriage. If this is the case, I would think good and hard before committing to someone that is not willing to take my feelings and needs into a count.
2006-08-22 03:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by Cjs 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can we say rebound relationship? You are his safety net girl! Unacceptable! Tell this guy that he's yours or he's hers; there is no gray area there. If he asked you to marry him cuz he figured out at the 11th hour that she wasn't taking him back then you would be making the biggest mistake of your life. Those 2 are playing games with each other and trying to make the other jealous. It looks like her plans are working. There are going to be broken hearts in this. Try to spare yours as much heartache as possible. One month? Hopefully next time you won't be as naive going into things. This guy hides things. That is never good. Call off that wedding.
2006-08-25 10:45:23 · answer #7 · answered by Cassiopeia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing is totally unacceptable. Talk to him and explain that he is behaving like someone who is single. It's not fair to you for him to be sending such soppy messages to other girls. How would he like it if you did the same? Explain to him that saying 'hi how are you, was nice seeing you the other day, etc', is totally different from saying 'I like you and I miss you' If he won't accept it's wrong, then you need to think carefully about continuing with this guy.
2006-08-22 03:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by miss_ruby_topaz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the engagement off until such a time when he can learn to behave himself. If that time never comes then ditch him... he'll only cause you grief. I was in the same situation in reverse. My ex-girlfriend wouldn't let go of old boyfriends and it was always a comparison thing with her. I felt like a fifth wheel in my own relationship. Don't fall into that trap!
2006-08-22 03:39:23 · answer #9 · answered by Coo coo achoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. It sounds like you feel for this guy fast because you thought you were in love. I know after the first week that I was going to get married to my husband and he gave me my promise ring after just 6 weeks, and we got married 3 1/2 years later (I was still in high school, so we waited - I was mature for my age) We are married and very happy. But it sounds like in your case that the guy your with can't let go of the past, I had a guy like that I couldn't let go of him, he broke up with me and said he just wanted to be friends, and I wanted him back(he was my first love) but I eventually got over him. I see him every once in a while and say hi to him. I would say you need to sit down and talk with him, take off your engagement ring and say you know I love you but until you can show me that you love me and not her then we can't get married. I'm not saying end it completely until you know for sure that he doesn't love you but you don't want to marry him.
2006-08-22 03:40:20 · answer #10 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is not ready to get married or to be engaged. A month of knowing someone is too soon to get engaged. You did not know him well enough before your engagement. If you really feel that you love him, put any marriage plans on hold and try to work through this.
Personally I would tell him, "bye, it's been nice knowing you."
2006-08-26 02:44:44 · answer #11 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋