How can you tell if you drink too much coffee?

Question

I have 10 answers to get you started:

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
When someone asks 'how are you' you say, 'good to the last drop'.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You have a conniption over spilled milk.
You think being called a drip is a compliment.
You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.

10 points for the best answer.

Answer 1

you'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
you lick your coffee pot clean.
the only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.
you can type 60 words per minute with your feet.
you have to watch videos in fast-forward to prevent boredom.
your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
you want to be cremated so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
you can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.
can jump start your car without cables.
you don't need a hammer to pound nails.
you buy sugar by the barrel.
you wear the finish off your coffee table.
you are so wired, you pic up AM radio.
you channel surf faster without a remote.
you are offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
you short out motion detectors.
the only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.
the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Kramer of Seinfeld thinks you need to calm down.
you name your cats Cream & Sugar.
your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
your nervous twitches register on the Richter scale.
you think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
you're employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
you chew on other people's fingernails.
you don't sweat, you percolate.
you walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
when someone says how are you? you say "good to the last drop."
you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
you don't tan, you roast.
you don't get mad, you get steamed.
you think C.P.R. stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
all of your children are named Joe.
you go to an AA meeting just to get the free coffee.
your T-shirt says Decaf Rules!
you are able to outlast the energizer bunny.
you get drunk just so you can sober up.
your survival kit has a pound of coffee & a grinder.
you speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
you sleep with your eyes open.
your hand is molded to the shape of your coffee mug.
you answer your door before anyone knocks.
you spend every vacation in Kona, Hawaii.
your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
you have your blood tested, the results come back in acidity levels.
Juan Valdez sends you a thank you card.

Answer 2

You can thread the needle of a running sewing machine!

You're more jumpy and nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

You need coffee to relax so you can get to sleep at night!

Your pancreas won't produce insulin any more, without coffee!

You need to pee before your morning coffee break!

You KNOW it's coffee break when your caffeine withdrawal headache comes on!

You've given up on 'whitening' toothpaste!

You don't go to movies any more; they're all in slow-motion!

You set off cops' speed radar walking down the street!

You hate waiting for everybody else to finish their sentences!

Your eyes have turned brown!

You expect to see El Exigente at the gates of Heaven, instead of Saint Peter!

You take your coffee intravenously!

You bend over backward and stick your head under the percolator spout, like Homer Simpson does with Slurpees!

You think Java is the worlds best programming language!

You've stopped going to topless joints and now only go to places that serve bottomless cups!

If the water main to your house is shut off, you just have a big spoonful of instant in the morning.

You're trying to genetically engineer tobacco so it produces caffeine instead.

Answer 3

You realize that decaf coffee all of the sudden doesn't taste the same.
The people at Starbucks have memorized your order. (A Grande vanilla latte with 2 extra shots of expresso, three shakes of coca powder, heavy on the whipped cream)
You start to talk at such a rate your dentures fly out.
You babble nonsense like your grandmother.
You walk around Manhattan stopping at every block to try the coffee. (There's a Starbucks on every corner in Manhattan. )

Answer 4

Your coffee sachets, and canisters are empty.
Your coffee mug is stained.
Your tablecloth, books, papers, have coffee spills.
Your room's aroma is that of coffee.
Your teeth are stained.
Your stomach is acidic.
Your heart is fully charged.
You toss and turn in bed.
You never want to drink coffee again for the next ten years.

Answer 5

You start talking to your refrigerator and imagining that someone is serving you coffee.

Decaf is your worst enemy.

You think that crap is hardened coffee.

You have trouble typing this because you're shaking so much.

Answer 6

When starbucks owns the mortgage on your house... ha ha

Answer 7

Timmy, I think you get the 10 points! Well done!

Answer 8

i guess its the 2nd one 'your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position'

Answer 9

i will go with the 5 th one

Answer 10

Your pee taste like fresh brewed coffee!!!!!!!