Severe Anxiety about turning 18?

Question

I'm 17 but I will be 18 in december. Thats only a few months away and everyone around me is making it known. Everytime I turn around I hear "You're going to be 18 soon, do this that and the other thing" and I'm like "Whoa, I wasn't ding that 6 months ago, you didn't teach me how to do that and now I'm supposed to figure it out for myself?" I don't feel like I was prepared for some of the things that come wih adulthood and now a few months before my 18th brithday everyone just expects me to just go out and do it. Push me into the lakeeven though I don't know how to swim. I'm the baby in the family and everything was always done for me but now peole are suddenly telling me i have to do these things for myself, It's freaking me out, i'm literally having panic attacks thinking about it. Also adding to my most likely unnecessary stress is the fact that when I tell my mom about these attacks she laughs it off and tells me "It's not like i'm going to throw oyu out the day you turn 18" but

then he goes on these . . . rants about all of the things i'll have to do as an adult and that shes not going to do them for me anymore. It's like shes giving me mixed messages. She gives me that sense of security and then snatches it away, time and time again. So much so that i'm stunted. I want her to eitehr tell me step up right now and stop giving me the security or gove me the security and forget about the stepping up . . at least for now. I don;t know what to do, this has been putting alot of stress on me and I'd love to know if there are anyways to cope, or help cope with this huge step. Please don't tell me to talk to my mom, because everytime i do she laughs it off, everyone does. Any other suggestions would be welcome. A reason as to why i'm freaking out so bad (beside teh blinding fear) would be appreciated too.

Answer 1

I DO understand your anxiety. It's like your 18 now, automatic adult but you dont feel any different really then when you were 16 or 17 and feel you haven't learned nearly enough to be an adult. Please believe me when I say, dont sweat it. You may be turning 18 but things won't change for you overnight. Your mom is just trying to prepare you for adulthood but just going around it the wrong way. She may say things that she is not going to do for you anymore but I am sure if you are having difficulty handling those things yourself, your mom will assist you in doing them until you get the hang of it. Meanwhile, enjoy this time of your life...you will be legally an adult and while that comes with new responsibilities and stress it also comes with new freedoms and priveleges!

Answer 2

maybe you just had it all wrong, yes being 18 means the start of adulthood, but it's not that bad actually, on the other hand, it's really fun, it gives you more freedom and more right to do some things on your own, like going partying and losing all that curfew stuff... but of course, it also means more resposibility as there will also be more obligation and expectation laid on your shoulder. Being 18 means you are grown enough to know and care for your own well being and the people around you...
Maybe what your mom just meant by her conflicting lectures is that you may have to face hard decisions or life-changing choices, but that you don't have to worry so much because they will still be there to help and guide you through and support you, so don't be stressed by this ok? and when you get confused, they are just there to advise you on what you do... Don't be scared about turning 18, it's not as if the world will throw you out of space when that time comes, rather, i think you ought to be really excited, hey it's just like graduation from grade school or when you are first allowed to go parties or go out on dates... :) cheer up, your 18th birthday is a wonderful celebration and don't be stressed about turning 18, remember life is a constant exploration... you will find yourself ready to face the challenges of the adultworld wnen they come, believe me

Answer 3

I freaked out too, but for a different reason. I didn't want to grow up...long story. Anyway, don't worry about turning 18. Just try to learn things one at a time. I work at a college as a work study and I see 26 yr olds coming in with their parents to help them out (no kidding) Most 18 yr olds I meet are just like you, unsure about growing up and sort of stuck between high school and adulthood. It will suck for a little while, but you're still young. Don't listen to your parents. Tell them to help you to become a little more independent a bit at a time. And havnig anxiety like this isn't that uncommon. You probably just tend to worry a little more than others and be nervous. Just try to use logic to overcome it. That's what I do. If panic attacks or anxiety really start to interfere with you life, see a therapist. I have had anxiety all my life and I am on meds for it. It's mostly just a chemical imbalance. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

When i turned 18 i went to the barber and got a man haircut, then i went and registered for the selective service. since youre female i doubt youll do either of those. while 18 is legally an adult, its not necesarily the actual start of adulthood. if you want to be an adult youre going to have to put all the childish things behind you. youll have to live according to what you need to do rather than what you want to do. I guess i was a special case, as i began my change toward becoming a man when i was 10 and my parents divorced. i was suddenly the oldest male in the house and had to do a lot of the things my dad did and had to keep track of the other kids. i took it a step further when i began training in martial arts. I had to learn to control my body, my mind, my emotions like a warrior rather than a teenager. later when i enlisted in USAF that was the end of childhood. no more thinking only of what i want. have to think of what needs to be done, regardless of my feelings.
I guess what it comes down to is youre not automatically an adult at 18 even though all the legal documents say you are. you can be a "kid" as long as you want, though youll have to play the part of an adult if you live on your own.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel. It is true that they should have started preparing from when you were a little younger than this but it looks like they realised their mistake, eventhough a little late. So your mum is trying to play her role as a mother to teach you to survive on your own, at the same time, the thought she is losing her baby may be freaking her out. Mums have this struggle too, and sometimes more severe than you.

I encourage that you just try to step up to the challenge and be the woman. It is normal that u will feel insecure at the beginnning, but u will get used to it. Don't worry, after you turn 18, not much will change, like she says, she wont throw u out. But mum knows she has to prepare u psychologically for it. As much as we may wish it, mum is not going to be around forever.

Just be strong be accepting of the fact. Face it and you will lose the anxiety. Good luck, hon.
Happy Birthday in advance!!

Answer 6

Have you tried speaking to a counceler? maybe your priest? I would suggest just trying to relax, i doubt everything in your life will change overnight. If it would make you more comfortable make a list of all the things you will need to do "as an adult" and gradually work yourself into doing them all between now and when you actually turn 18 that shoudl take off some of the pressure.

Answer 7

Turning 18 is no different than any other age. If you want to stay a little girl you can stay a little girl. You will get bored and want independence. Believe it or not, life out there is so much better than being under the wing of a parent. On your birthday you will be one day older than the day before.

Answer 8

Have you tried talking to a school counsellor. Maybe if you could come up with a plan for what you would like to do after high school you would feel more secure.

Your mother is probably sending mixed messages becuase she is having separation anxiety too. Her baby is getting older and growing up and she wants to nudge you out of the nest but at the same time she wants to keep her baby.

Answer 9

Oh, for God's sake! You're not the oldest person in the world!

Stop acting like you're the only person ever to turn eighteen. Get over yourself.

Personally, I think your parents should throw you out so you get a taste of something called real life. Now stop whingeing and get a life!

Answer 10

Well turning 18 is a great age, relax, I know they are getting on your nerves but just dont listen. Besides if they havent taught you how to do anything its their own fault for not teaching you as you grew up.