LOVE and HATE? one half of the same coin??

Question

U cant stick a cigarette paper between them!
Just come out of a hard break up and told ex who hurt me with lies,deception,aggression and finally using me for one last time, that I hated him.I do feel this way, tho I was no angel & had hurt him.A regret I still carry.
Tried my best wen i saw my mistakes,but became bitter and withdrawn when he started to lie & pull away!He also nearly died but THANKFULLY recovered and I'd been the one closest to him when he came through the other side of his trauma.We both handled a lot wrong-I see that now but it still hurts as I seem to still have an emotional connection to someone who doesn't love me and probably hates me now 2.
We used to be such good mates and I have a lot of happy memories of us tho it hurts badly when I think of them now as I was utterly in love with this guy.I know I sound a saddo but I'm just looking for some opinions on the LOVE/HATE thing.
Do u think hate disappears like love?or r they 1 half of the same coin?

Answer 1

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Two end of a continuum same as Happy - Sad.

Hate is a very passionate emotion, it has a lot of power,
some good as a motivator for change, but it also has
the power to hold you in stasis unable to move on and
therefore powerless.

I could not hate someone that I have never had strong
feelings for, how could I hate someone to who I have
always been neutral.

It would be the betrayal of trust and rejections of my
giving self and those aspects of me that would cause
me to travel the continuum into hate.

Time I do believe does dull the pain of hate as it dulls
the pain of loss, whether ever truly forgotten is, to me,
debatable but I would hope to come to a point, by working
through it where I could live with the betrayal etc and
the period and what it contained could become good
enough for me for it not to have a disablingpower anymore.

I hope you can come to terms with your emotions in this
and move on to a more fulfilled life.


.

Answer 2

This is just my personal opinion, but I strongly disagree with it being the 2 sides of a coin thing. Rather see it as one being a hand of healing and the other a hand of hurting. If he hurt you intentionally then it's not the real thing. I could never hurt my girlfriend intentionally, especially lying! Lying to me is the ultimate deception and insult.
If your love for this guy was so strong then your hate will be even stronger once he hurts you, it's our emotional defence mechanisms, the healing hand gets hurt and the hurting hand steps in, if you hate someone it wards them off, preventing them from coming close enough to hurt you again.
From personal experience...there's no worse feeling in the world then to hate loving someone. This happens when you love someone but the feeling is not mutual, you resort to hating this person because their hurting you. The only thing that works is to completely disconnect from them, for a long time, until they're out of your mind. And then slowly start seeing them in small doses again. It's like a drug, be conscious about the way your feeling, don't fall into the trap. Hope this makes sense- Joseph

Answer 3

I think that only somebody who you care about can hurt you, people who you care nothing for can not hurt you.

I also think that somebody who really loves you would never intentionally or by neglect or apathy- cause you harm, emotionally or otherwise.

If a person really loves you then they put you first- they want you to be happy above everything else, and not just because their happiness is interconnected to yours- but because they have a true and selfless love for you.

In some cases it may seem like love and hate are two sides of the same coin, but the answer is that if this seems so, the chances are that real love is missing from one or both peoples side of the equation.

it's very easy to confuse romantic infatuation or simple lust with love. But love is easy to identify if you remember that somebody who loves you truly will always:

a)want to know you, spend time with you and be your friend before sex is even so much as thought about
b) make your happiness and well being their personal priority
c)never lie, cheat or otherwise treat you with dishonesty or disrespect.

S
x

Answer 4

There is a fine line between love and hate. Both are very powerful emotions, and I truly believe that you hate someone you care for them, you still have an emotional attachment. If you truly feel as though you dislike someone, you won't feel anything. I think you need to move on, and remember the good times

Answer 5

Love and Hate have much in common. Both are strong emotions that bind the two of you together. Both cause your life to pivot on that person. Neither will ever disappear, tho both will usually fade if you two don't associate with eachother too much for a while.

Answer 6

Yes, it's a thin line. Yes ,they are the same coin. Is there any chance of reconciliation? Sounds not. Time will heal your wounds but how long I can't tell you. Be strong, have good friends to talk to. Avoid all contact with him for the near future if possible. That's all I can advice you. Best of luck & loads of courage as well.

Answer 7

when me and an ex spilt up i hated him for the way he had treated me i didn't even like being in the same pub as him but only a year on we are both in happy relationships and we get on really well now, hes a really good friend again that i can tell most of my problems to so yes i think hate goes away

Answer 8

Love is strong, love is happy, love gives you hope for the future.
When all that is suddenly taken away it hurts - so much that it often turns to hate! i don't think it's possible to hate then love. They are closely linked, but once the love has turned to hate it's not possible to reverse the process!
Good Question though - very thought provoking!

Answer 9

time is a great healer... leave him and don't try to make any contact with him for 3 yrs and whenever u will meet him after tht, it would n nice n simple.

u need to be strong on this.

n yes... hate disappears but unlike love... when love disappears it leaves tears, but when hate disappears it leaves smile.

Answer 10

looks such as you're a million/2-way there. bypass the gap (or enable him come to you) and notice what develops. you may no longer settle on what's honest for somebody else without their enter. He may even see it completely in yet in any different case. good success!