I want to end my 3yr relationship with my gf.How do i do this without heartache.?

Question

ok so ive been with my girl for almost 3yrs now and i want out. I love her yea, but im not IN love with her, She is not giving me my space that i need. And now she gets my frustated more often, She knows how to push my buttons. I broke up with her a week ago, but i got back with her beacuse she made me feel so bad. It truly hurts me to hear her cry.Im not the kind of person who can end it and just hang up and turn off my phone. That why this is soo hard! I truly believe this relationship will not work out in the long run. Im not happy with it. How can i do this without too much heartache?

Answer 1

thats damn near impossible....thats why alot of people avoid relationships altogether....the best thing i can say...cause ive been through that....is to just take small steps....like first say u need a little space....dont call her as much and when she calls you, cut it short.....in a way you gotta make it so she gets frustrated and wants out as well.....dont be a complete asshole...just cut back on a lot of things......through it all though, you have to let her know its not working out and eventually she'll see it your way......man, i know people where it took them damn near a year to break up...its all on you and how long you can last

Answer 2

Honestly there's no way to do it without heartache. I've been down this road a few times, and even though I was miserable in these relationships it was hard to get over the fact that I was hurting someone else. Even after all the crap they put me through it still hurt. You should just tell her how you feel about the situation and both of you can get on with life. Also, if your not happy you will eventually make her life miserable too, and if you stay with her to keep from hurting her you will eventually resent her for it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Remind her and convince her that she can find someone else who is more compatible with her and who will make her more happy. And that not being with you won't be the end of the world. Tell her that once she finds the man of her dreams, she will thank you. Also that she deserves someone who truly loves her and needs her. She can't be truly happy right now because you're not fully giving her your love. Tell her that it's only gonna get worse and that this relationship cannot last if love is just one sided.

Whatever you do, don't lead her on and don't leave her without any closure.

Also, if you want to, tell her that you'd still like to be friends and maybe you two can double date in the future sometime. Reassure her that you're not going to be completely out of her life if you don't mind, that is.

Answer 4

Just sit her down and talk with her about it. Explain that it's not good for her to be in a relationship with someone that isn't in love with her. Tell her that you've felt this way for a while, and nothing is going to change it. You will never be IN love with her again. Tell her your love for her has become platonic love, and you can only see yourself as her friend. Just keep reminding her that it isn't in her best interest to be in a relationship with someone who isn't IN love with her.

Try to be as nice as possible about this, but also be firm. Don't give the impression that she has a chance still. I know it sounds cruel, but that will make her push your buttons because she'll probably think that if she does, she can make you realize you're being dumb and maybe you'll fall back in love. You CANNOT say you love her, but this isn't working out. That will send the wrong signal. She'll think, "Well if he loves me still, then there must be something I've got to fix and then everything will be ok!" Or somthing like that.

Be honest and gentle, but hold your ground. And don't give in when she inevitably cries. You've GOT to block her number on your phone, and do whatever else it takes to get her to stop contacting you. Tell her it's for the best, because you will not give in, and you know (from, obviously, experience) that she will just try to contact you and get back together. Remind her that's not what you want, and if you did, it would only be because you felt bad. It's not genuine. Tell her in a few months you two can try to be friends if she wants to, but nothing more.

Answer 5

There is no easy way to break up with anyone. Tell her exactly what you just said, exactly how you feel and why you think you will both be better off. THe only way to stay broken up after you've told her you want to break up is to stay away from eachother for atleast a month so that you can both get used to being without eachother. After being seperated for awhile you can try being friends if you want. Good luck! I know it'll be hard but think of how much better you will feel once you know it's really over.

Answer 6

First off, don't play games with someone by breaking up and getting back together with them....ER... I mean don't do it a second time. It's understandable, but all it did was put you back where you didn't want to be.

Basically there is no way to do it without heartache, but you can at least be as nice as possible about it. Tell her that you're not in love with her, and it's not fair to either of you to stay in a relationship when you deserve to be with someone you DO love, and she deserves to be with someone that DOES love her.

Something I've been told by a couple of women is "Would you be happy if I pretended to still love you, and stayed trapped in a relationship I didn't want? If you really loved me, you wouldn't want that either."

Answer 7

You can't. You have to be up front and be honest. Let he know it is coming. Be especially cold to her for about a week, and then let he know you have something important to say a few days after that. Then it is critical that you are honest. It is not your fault at all, this is just how you feel about things. See if you can work things out, or put things on hold. Otherwise you will have to let her go. He heart will break regardless, but you will have to leave all the heart mending and what not all to herself - there is NOTHING you can do to help except make sure that she doesn't convince you to back into being together. Be cold to her but not disrespectful. She will move on.

Answer 8

There will be heartache, no way around that. A three year relationship cannot be tossed aside without people getting their feelings hurt.

If you're sure she isn't the person for you, a clean break is what will ultimately be the best for her. Stringing her along with phone calls and emails will just make her think there's a chance.

Answer 9

There is no way to end it without any heart ache. The best thing you could do for the both of you is tell her the truth. Tell her how you feel, and tell her how you don't want to lead her on and hurt her more in the future. She'll cry, but you'll just have to accept it and give her the comfort and/or space that she needs. Good luck.

Answer 10

Man, you need your head read! Yeah, okay, so you're not IN love with her, right? Right. Tell her how you feel. You're not being honest with her enough for her to back off a little. I just celebrated my 2yr relationship with my guy and we are like, totally on the same page. You gotta sit her down and talk to her; make her understand that she's suffocating you. You can't fall out of love with someone that you care about.
You're also letting her take advantage of your soft side. Let her know where you stand with her and let her do the rest. Give her one more chance, and if she doesn't change, let her go.

Answer 11

You've heard of the expression "You have to be cruel to be kind"? Well, this is what it's all about. A firm, final ending is much kinder in the long run than this on again off again drawn out nonsense, which only gives her hope that she might one day be able to win you back. End it. Grit your teeth and end it. You are doing her a great kindness by being strong here.