we love each other a lot.. BUT..?

Question

We are in love but there are certain problems that may be an hindrence in out pth of life..
1. he in six years older than me. M 21 and he is 27.
2. He is working in a top branded MNC earning but my parents are looking for some1 who earns more than what he is earning right now.
3. We differs in caste.
4. He is less educated than me.
Inspite of all this dis-similarities we are prepare to marry each other.
he knows all these problems and he thought of enhansing his educational qualification, planning to start a business soon of his own(along with working in that company).
But all these things need time and we are running short of time.
what to do. his parents are compelling him to get married, (His family has undergone a tragidy so he cant put it infront of his family rite now and at my end i have an elder sister.. my parents wont get me married before 3 years.n i cant tell my parents abt him, they will feel as m nt matured enough to take a decision.what to do.pls suggest

Answer 1

I love my hubby some much I would leave my whole family if they even tiried to keep us apart and love is love if i were you even if you got disowned i would fallow your heart and if your famliy really loves you they will respect your wishes if you are really in love you are old enough I met my hubby when I was 7 and he was 10 and when we were 19 and 22 we fall in love but cz famliy did not approve of us we did not marry we both married other ppl and cz of that we both married wrong ppl he had 3 failed marriages and I had 2 failed but now that are Grandparents are all gone died we finally said to heck with it and we just told ever one look we been in love for 24 years we still in love and we are getting married you can come if you want but that is that and we got married last month and we are happier than we have ever been b4 and we have not had one disagreement at all we agree on every thing we are soulmates!!!! and God will bless are life togeather!

don;t let ppl tell you what you want make your own mind up!!!good luck !!!!

oh also my grandparents were 22 years apart in age my grandpa was 47 when my dad was born and he lived til 3 weeks b4 his 103 birthday and they were married 59 and a half years and he said that was not long enough my grandma died first and he died a year later almost to the day I know it was of a broken heart he missed her so much!!!! my grandpa was older they only had one child oh and no one came to there wedding cz they all said it would not last I wish I could have been there but i was not born yet and funny thing too if you think about it if they had not been married I would not be here !!!!! my spell check I think is broke it is not working!!!!

Answer 2

Well Lalith, you really are in a dilemma.
1) Age matters not, let me tell you as much. I am 18 and my soon-to-be husband is 23, that makes also 5 years of difference. If the man is older, it's not so much of a problem as girls usually are more mature (that can be seen in your attitude also).
2) He is stll young and he might earn more money in the future. I think that if the both of you are willing to marry he will see the neccessity of getting a better paid job to care for his family. My boyfriend is currently doing the same.
3) If your parents are not too conservative, these castes differences can be overcome as well. I should hope it is not too big an issue in your family nowadays.
4) The problem of him being less educated than you could become a problem if he chose to remain like this, because eventually he will probably feel inferior to you, I have had female friends who had just that happening. I don't believe it is neccesarily a bad thing though. I don't know whether you plan to go working as well or if you want to become a housewife. If you do want to work it might cause a bit more problems, as you could end up earning more money than he is, and as such be the person who actually cares for the family. Unless he is comfortable with his wife earning more than him, it would be adviseable for him to indeed get more qualification, or at least to look for a better job.
Enhancing educational qualification does not mean he will get a better paid, or even just a better job. If he is happy with the kind of job he is doing now, he should only consider changing the place where he works, so that he will get more money to sustain his family. I don't know if his idea to start a business, along to being working in a company, is such a good idea, as he will be away from home even longer. He will have a very tight schedule and you will not see him very often. If you are able to cope with this, then you should consider a wedding. If you want your husband to be home in decent hours though you should talk this through with him again.
I am sorry about the tragedy that has happened in his family and I can undertand his parents wish to get him married as soon as possible. You did not tell me whether his parents are opposed to your relationship, I am sure they would like it very much to have such a clever daughter-in-law as you are. Your boyfriend should maybe try to approach them with this request. they could, in turn, go to see your parents and ask for possibility of marriage between you two. If his parents approach your it would maybe work out. I think the best way is to find yourself a person you can talk to, how about your elder sister or your mother, or any other elative of your family, who could help you convining your parents to agree to this marriage...
If your parents heavily disagree, in whatever way you put up the question, and even if he agrees to enhance his education, I do not know what your choice should be. If you are accepted by your in-laws, you could try and get married even though your parents would not accept, but I don't know how you feel about this. The time pressure that is put on your boyfriend doesn#t help matters.
I hope you will find an acceptable solution for you both, and I hope that the reluctance of your families will vanish when they see how mature you both indeed are.
I wish you best of luck, and please PM me when anything has changed...

Answer 3

1.age difference is not at all a problem.
2.If money is the only criteria all monied people should be happy. if you have a reasonable earning it is enough for a happy living.
3.caste and creed are the thing of the past. can u be happy with your caste alone?
4.he can improve his qualification latter.
5.all other situations given by u are simple and can be overcomed.
Approach: present your case to both the families through a mediator firmly. and u can wait for your sisters marriage as an allovance. if they donot agree goahed with the marriage. time will settle everything. but make sure that u donot act with hatred at any stage. Love should be your weapon.
Advice : In marriage love, care,& affection should be given first priority and money the last. BECAUSE IT IS NOT A BUSINESS. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 4

First Age Is are number,If you love some one age doesn't count,but your feeling.Secondly your parents are way out of line they should be happy that your man is willing to do anything for you money is no issue,Love conques all.you should tell them that you are the one who is going to marry him not them.His parents want him to marry and Im sure they do like you.Education is just papers but love is feeling happy,are you also warried that he is less educated if not then this is not the reason why you shouldn't marry the guy.please dont let an opportunity like this pass you by some time listen to people is the thing that courses problems in a relationship.Good Luck

Answer 5

If u know him long enough and are sure of him well go ahea.
make sure u know himas a person when under stress.If u think under stress he is fine and acceptable (thats where people will fail,and love takes a back seat)
the go ahead u are both adults and will do well.
remeber though that after the first few months and as time passes the attraction that u see now will go and the rest remains u shud want that too.
U said u are in luv.Luv means only giving,unconditionally.like a flower who gives smell without bothering who is around or if any one is around.If u feel the same and are not looking for any barter.its good.
If he reciprocates its even better.
rather than knowing him u shud be sure that u know yrself.most people see failure here

Answer 6

Well I'm getting married on Saturday and I feel you don't have the support you need right now by your parents you need to tell them because they have to know about you and your life how else are you going to have a bond with them. Hey its your life you need to start living it and leave all the fear your parents put into you as a child that fear was only meant for you for when you were younger now you are an adult of 21years old you need to express your opinions and have the guts while doing it. I am a very lucky guy to have a father like mine he said that no matter what he will support me in every thing I do and that he is doing he is keeping his word to me by paying for part of mine and my fiances wedding. Its funny because I haven't seen this girl since I was about 13 years old and now after so many years later she still remembers my phone number. Well half a year later we are engaged and my parents were iffy about the whole thing but they gave in a little later. I have been with and living with her for nearly 2 years now and this Saturday is our wedding. GO FOR IT DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU.

Answer 7

How long have you known him? It might be wise to wait at least a few months before getting married. As far as what both of your parents say, it's not really their desicion. Both of you are over 18, you should be capable of making your own decisions. Don't let anyone pressure or rush either of you into an decision that you're not ready to make.

Answer 8

Don't listen to you parents you are an adult and you have to make up your own mind and make your own decisions. I f you don't your parents will meddle in your business for now on. If you really love this guy and your good for each other then don't let nothing or no-one stand in your way. Your parents are not the ones marring him you are.

I hope this helps. Just whatever you do do it because you want to.

Answer 9

If you or your family is having doubts, give it one more year to really plan out your lives. Just because you love eachother isn't a reason to be married, work on some issues and see if it still works a year from now.

Answer 10

look!apparently you are causing your own problems.the shaky relationship between you and your parents is the major point.try and develop very close ties with your parents let them trust you.try talk sense every time.it is important that they should know how you feel.at your age they've got to believe that you cannot deliberately ruin your life.if you don't tell them about him they will not help you and you would end up committing suicide because of pressure and unrelieved tensions.it would be bad. talk!talk!and talk!