I am a single male with four kids the oldest is mine by love and connection to my other three ufotunatly not by birth , he is fourteen I have a son ten and two daughters 7 and 9 I love them all beyond my very breath . I have batlled alone four 6 years and have had no contact with their mother for years . She claims to be Bi Polar which is a form of depression she seems to have little interest in the children and we have become complacent to her absence . Should I be making any effort to reastablish contact with this Mother of my children
2006-08-21 18:53:33 · 26 answers · asked by kevin d 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If she's Bi Polar, which is not a form of depression, but a serious mental illness, then she's probably not capable of taking care of her children. If she's on her meds, and stays on them, then maybe she can be in their lives, but if she's not medicated, I'd keep my children away from her.
Also know that Bi Polar Disorder can run in families, as your children get older, watch them for signs of the illness. Best of luck to you and your children.
2006-08-21 19:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would attempt to make contact for the sake of the children. It may be easier for you to do it now than for them to make contact in 10 years time.
Being bi-polar is not an excuse for not seeing your children, but perhaps their mother feels that so much time has passed she is scared to make contact, or she may still be going through a bad time with her illness.
I would attempt to contact her and give her one more chance, if she doesnt accept it, then you can walk away knowing you have done the best for your children.
2006-08-22 04:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have established a stable and loving home for these children. Why rock the boat? It is better for children to have stability with one parent than tension with two.
Their mother has made her decision, if your children have become complacent with it, you are doing all the right things!
Allow them to make their own choice, and they will when they feel they can cope, or they may not want anything to do her.
Give support either way.
2006-08-22 12:16:22 · answer #3 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO Honey. I am a foster Mum to 2 grown up kids and Natural Mum to 4 grown up kids tooo. My foster children came from very bad backgrounds and I had a major battle on my hands at the start, one ov them is a boy and his Mum upt and pissed off to Majorca to LIVE with his 2 sisters and left him behind running the chip shop @ 14yrs old. No its not worth you trying to keep any contact going...if they want to find their Mum in later life when they can handle it then yes help them then BUT not now....Keep up the good work YOUR A STAR. Also just so ya know ALL the kids are very well balanced and happy..the 14yr old is now 21 and a very happy chappy
2006-08-22 09:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by Denise W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after 6 years NO
2006-08-22 02:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by GRUMPY /UK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey sounds like you are doing a really neat job, at raising 4 kids alone, do you really need their mother in their life, especially if she is suffering from depression, thats what Bi-Polar is, it may be better for the kids that she stays away.....
2006-08-24 01:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly let me commend you on sticking by all the children and not just the ones that are genetically yours, as a mother of 4 also i would recommend that you stay clear of the mother until the children are old enough to understand but at the end of the day you are the one person that knows them best and therefore know whats best for them. good luck for the future.
2006-08-22 02:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by kirsty m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's obviously not interested ... even if she is actually "ill" she ought to have made an effort to keep in touch.
Just battle on as you have done - I'm sure the kids love you for your efforts regardless of everything. They will reward you some day.
2006-08-22 04:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother. The onus is on her to make contact and she appears to have no interest in doing so. You cannot force someone to be interested in their children. Your children can seek her out when they are older or make contact via mail or phone if they wish. It is not up to you to bring her back. You are doing fine on your own. A father who loves his children is worth a thousand mothers who don't.
2006-08-22 02:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you must always tell the children the truth and let them decide if and when they want to make contact. I admire you for bringing them up the way you are doing, always remember you teach by example and it sounds like you are doing a great job.
2006-08-22 02:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by gud1940 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋