Mommy Alert....! Please read... Need advice...?

Question

My baby girl is starting kindergarten in one more day. She has become increasingly upset and tonight was the worst.
I have tried and been very positive and I have said and done everything I can think of to make her feel happy about it..
Today was her oriantation and may be why she is more upset.
I want to help her and don't really know how because my oldest didn't have this problem. So this is a first for me.
She says she is scared and will miss me. She says she wont have any friends and I am afraid she is going to make it so hard on herself she misses out on the begininng of what should be a great experience for her.
Any encouraging and helpful advice is very much appreciated...

Answer 1

I did everything anyone ever heard of to prepare my daughter for kindergarten, and she still hated it. Cried every morning all year. She had a great teacher,friends, but missed me too much. Yesterday was her first day of first grade and she loved it! Maybe she just needed a yr to mature. Anyway no advice from me. Sounds like you did everything right. Hang in there. Oh, and the first guy that answered is such a jerk!!

Answer 2

Maybe letting her pick out a few outfits and her bookbag that are "special" because she is a "big girl" and going to a "big girl" school? I'm not sure what else will help except constant reassurance of how much fun she will have. maybe tell her some more about things she will get to do there and about things you did when you were in school, so that she can relate or see how cool it is since mom did it too.
If nothing else, i'm sure after the first couple of days things will improve greatly. Good luck. I know it's hard on you too as my daughter starts in a few days herself and i'm having a harder time with it than she is! lol

Answer 3

Take her to look at the school and meet with the teacher.again i fyou need to , or go to ths school again . Familiarity always helps. I always recomend that you go look at the schol afew times over the summer and play at the playground too.( to late for that )

Let her know she is working herself up. Ask her what she is afraid of. If its because she will miss you, tell her you will miss her too, and its okay to miss someone.show her where you will be waiting after school .Whatever you do DONT be late.
In the morning get there early, stay until they go in the class and the bell rings. Talk and say hi to the other parents and kids, introduce your daughter. ACT HAPPY. See if you can match her up with another kid.
The teachers are prepared for this the first day and week, they know many kids will be sad, and nervous, some things we just have to walk trough in life, be prepared she might cry, be strong.
Have a special plan for after school.Like go out for ice cream.
Then again she may surprise you and be fine.

Answer 4

as much as it hurt...prolonging or accepting that reaction makes it worse. just keep reassuring her...then get ready for the water works on the first day! do you drive them to school? if so good, cause she needs your support.
take her to class, let her teacher know...*quietly!* that she is VERY VERY nervous. hug her and leave. 1, 2, 3. its heartbreaking, but prolonging the nervous moment by sticking around only makes things worse.
teacher have dealt with his a hundred times i PROMISE!! ESP. kindergarten teachers. they know what to do. and your heart WILL ache, I've been there twice now, and ill be there again in about 5 years.
if your child is really having problems..the school will call you. but more likely..she will be upset for a bit, then realize that the other kids are having a good 'ol time and decide to check it out.

be prepared to go through this more than one day, maybe even the first week. but if you don't make a fuss, let the teacher do her thing...and allow time for your daughter to adjust she will be just fine!

Good luck!

Answer 5

My daughter is five and I can not get her to stop asking me when she will start kindergarten. The reason why my daughter is so happy is because she feel she is going to big girl school and she doesn't have to be with the "little" kids.

I would say take her with you to do school clothes shopping. Let her pick her own back pack, luck pale, folder, pencils, etc. Make her feel like a big kid and tell her that she did such an excellent job in preschool that they feel she needs to be with the bigger kids.

I also explained to my daughter that everybody is not going to be her friend, but the only thing she can do is be herself. Reassure her that you will be their when she get out and you want to here what big girls do in kindergarten.

She will be OK. We all get nervous when we enter new territory

Answer 6

Read her a few children's books about hte first day of school. Especially one that shows a child being scared and missing their parents. By reading a book that pertains to her will make her realize that it's okay to be scared but it will turnout okay. Sometimes it helps to just talk about the character in the book and how he or she felt in the beginning of the book and how that changed in the end so that the child can express their own feelings more openly. Also, go to school with her on her first day and if time permits become a classroom volunteer.

Answer 7

Poor little thing!

I would take her early tomorrow, and help her introduce herself to another little girl to make a friend. Talk to the other girls mommy and see if they can be "first-day buddies" together. They can hold hands and make it through the day together.

Introduce your daughter to the teacher (again, just in case your daughter forgot) and tell her the teacher is there to help her have fun.

Remind your daughter that you will be back to pick her up after class...and show up extra early so you're not late.

You could even tell a little white lie and say you will periodically look in the window while she is in class to check on her.

Let her pick out her own special first-day outfit, do her hair special, take lots of pictures....make it a big deal for her to be excited about. Plan something fun for after class (going out for icecream, etc.) and tell her about it before school so she can look forward to it during the day. You could even invite her new "first-day buddy" and her mom along too.

That's all I can think of now to help. Good luck to you!

Answer 8

Ask her why she's scared and why she thinks she won't have any friends. If she can explain her fears to you, then you'll be able to refute them. Tell her that you know she'll miss you and that you will miss her, too, but that school will be an adventure for her and that you know she'll be able to handle it. If you show that you have confidence in her, maybe she'll be less fearful.

Also, it might not be a bad idea to go with her and speak w/the teacher. Explain that your daughter is really, really nervous and might need some extra reassurance. A good teacher ought to be able to deal with this.

Don't let your daughter see you upset about this because then she'll become more fearful. Good luck!

Answer 9

Hugs to you and her.. she will be fine... as soon as she makes her first friend...she will forget how scared she was... explain to her that it will be all their first times and all the little kids will be scared but she needs to be strong so she can help her friends... tell her the teacher will do everything to make each one of them feel special and get them all involved together, playing together etc. All you can do really is be there for her and keep positive thoughts on the communication lines ... point out things she will get to do, like some schools kindergarten naps, she will get snack time and show and tell and recess etc... how fun it will be .. and she is so likebale that it will be easy for her to make friends and such.. good luck

Answer 10

Been through this twice. Believe me, by the end of the day, its harder on you than it is on the kid. Chances are, she'll be fine by the end of the day, or at worst, within a few days.

It might be too late for this now, but tomorrow morning maybe try reversing your strategy a little. Act like its not THAT big of a deal. You'll see her in a few hours, and you've got some (normal every day) activities you'll be doing while she's gone, and after she gets home you've got some other (normal, every day) activities that you'll be doing. Just another day... Tell me if you see your big brother/sister, etc.