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i have a loving conciderate partner but his mother and two sisters have said alot of nasty things about me to him trying to turn him against me.
it hasnt worked, we are still together but his family still come to our house and nothing has been said between us, they arent talking to me about what they have said but they know that i know and continue to aked like nothing has happened.
my question is this is it selfish of me to expect my partner to bring it up and defend me? because when ever they come around i continue doing what i was doing before they arrived and he sits with them and i feel like im the only one unhappy about the situation.

2006-08-21 17:45:23 · 12 answers · asked by shandy 1 in Family & Relationships Family

12 answers

Well, right off the bat, you have a "partner" living with you, so that doesn't speak well of your commitment to either social mores or each other.

Is society not falling apart fast enough in this country? Is there no longer any regard for the traditions of family that date back thousands of years?

Do you really think that you can establish a form of relationship that will endure a similar near-eternity?

What's wrong with marriage and children? Marriage that actually lasts a lifetime?

You have a partner? Right. Are you on his checking account? In his will? On his mortgage?

Or are you just providing free sex for this guy while he's looking for his wife?

"Partner"? Wise up.

2006-08-21 17:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by gabluesmanxlt 5 · 0 1

Your home is suppose to be the only place in the world you feel at peace and serenity. Your home is the place that you feel at ease. You should not let your other half family come into your space and not only disrespect your home, but you. When your partner decided to be a part of you, that mean you come before family and if he knows that you are unhappy because of his family he should most definitely speak up on it or not allow his family to enter your domain.

My guy family is the exact same way. I tried to be nice to them, but they always have something negative to say. I told him and let him know that was the first and last time I would kiss a*s*s for anyone. His family is not allowed at my house and I do not go to theirs. I gave them a taste of their own medicine. I do not invite them to anything I have and they told my guy it hurt their feelings. And my comment was "Oh Well!" just like theirs.

I know it is said that two wrongs don't make a right, but it sure in the h*ell feels good.

2006-08-22 01:11:30 · answer #2 · answered by Miss. Tee98 4 · 0 0

u should seriously say something. It isn't right for any one to interfer with ur realationship expecally ur partners family. he should really say something. I would bring it up to him. Tell him how much u dislike it. But don't sound like u are acusing him. Just tell him that u feel left out of the family when they don't add u into the conversation. and maybe he will see how much u dislike them treating u the way they do and u won't even have to bring it up to him and he will just do it. If not tell him that u would really like to be accepted by his family and u don't feel as if u are at the moment. Ask him to please stand up for u and let his family see that he is happy with his partner.

2006-08-22 01:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by luckystar53 3 · 0 0

You have every right to be upset. Your hurt. I assume your partner is aware of how his mother and sister are treating you. Sit down with your partner and explain to him how you feel. If he cares about you he should be willing to stand up to you. Maybe he doesn't have the backbone to stand up to his family. If you havn't already it may be worth trying to talk to them yourself. At least you can act like an adult. Most importantly, junt hang in there. I've been there too. Good luck.

2006-08-22 00:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by hopeless 4 · 1 0

They are trying to break you guys up, but be the better person and your partner sounds like he doesn't pay much attention to what they say about you. What he does need to do is find the courage to stand up for you against them. It will take time

2006-08-22 00:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by iseestupidpeopleeverywhere 2 · 0 0

you have to understand he has been put in a very difficult situation. being torn between the women he loves and his family, the woman that raised him. he is still with you isnt he? he is avoiding conflict by no bringing it up. if he did it would only make the situation worse let things be. i think if he needed too he would defend you.

2006-08-22 00:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0 0

no i mean that is rude that their family is being immature because they dont like you. he should stand up and say something. not defend you but tell his family that to get to know you before judge you because you might be a really sweet girl. so there is nothing wrong with you telling him to help you out a little bit.

2006-08-22 00:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by lilbabigurlb123 2 · 0 0

you know, i really can understand completley,
a simular situation happened with me..........and people like that to me have no respect or consideration for others and they were selfish to begin with.............you don't need to feel bad,,,, your other half may feel in a position and i think that he should say something to break the ice and so that there can be some healing,,,but by him not saying anything is causeing the paine to grow and the tension to expire............he needs to stand by you and help you heal , even if it means brining it up between all of you.....................

2006-08-22 00:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by expression 2 · 0 0

my mother was in the exact same situation! my mom is catholic but my dad is jewish. my dads family wanted him to marry a jewish girl. when he married my mom they started treating my parents poorly. they have been happily married for 32 years.

you should completely ignore these people. if they cant accept you for the woman their son/brother fell in love with, than you shouldnt even bother with them. if it gets bad enough you can ask your partner to stop inviting them over, or even sit down and talk with them about treating you more respectfully.

2006-08-22 01:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by toaster9795 3 · 0 0

"is it selfish of me to expect my partner to bring it up and defend me?"

you need to bring it up and tell your partner how you feel about it. discuss it together and find a resolution together.

also, study self-esteem to learn how to SPEAK UP for your self and not wait for others to take the lead for you. (that's CODEPENDENCY)

2006-08-22 02:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0 0

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