bedtime battles?

Question

I am so frustrated with my kids! I have 3 boys. 8 yrs, 3, and 14 mths. The 14 mth old sleep in his crib in his own room. The 3 and 8 yr old sleep in the same room in bunk bed. They are constantly playing after bedtime! They constantly get out of bed 8-9 times a night with stupid excuses! I only have a 3 bedroom house. My husband is in Iraq and I have no family support (miltary wife). I am about to lose my mind! My kids don't listen to me! They are starting to walk all over me! I hate to spank their butts! I have tried time outs, taking things away, grounding, everything! I don't spank my baby don't worry! Anyways, it's the 3 and 8 year old that walk all over me! What can I do??!! I'm losing control of my kids! Am I the only parent that goes through this? Sometimes I feel like I just want to get in my truck and drive away forever! Am I the only one that feels like this?

Answer 1

I'm sorry, I do believe in a good butt woopin once in a while...thank you for your Husband's service though.

Answer 2

I raised thee kids while my husband traveled for work. Your reaction is very normal. What I learned is that I had to have rules and be consistant and havea conquences and you never give in.

Your baby can't understand but the older ones do. Sit down with some simple rules....and concquenses if they break them.

Watch those nanny programs.

Another idea is to put the three year old to be an hour before the older one. If you have to put one of them in the freekn living room do it. If they disrespect the rules you take away something they love. And even better reward them for good behavior.

I know the stress and the cycle of insanity that happens with a woman alone with three kids.

Get a friend and exchange babysitting. Go for a walk, go to the mall. Go walk in the park and read a book.

This is a hard thing for you to do alone. Remember there are other women out there doing the same thing.

Get the kids in a more mellow mood. Practice some stress prevention. Never get yourself or the kids too tired, too hungry, or too lonely.

It seems like the most unruely kid needs more boundries.

When you speak to the kids. get down on their level and speak with a soft kind voice to them. Tell them that you guys are a team and it is time to get more happy at home. The kids are craving attention and they are getting it in a negative way. Find a positive way. Lets say you make a poster if they go to bed quiety for a week, they get to go to McDonalds. Make it a fun reward night.

I see you have tried everything. Probably they know that they eventually get you to give in if they push you far enough.

I think it important to keep the two oldest out of the same room. They feed each other's fire so to speak, you are tired out of your mind and don't need the stress. There is a big enough age space that the 3 yr old could go to bed earlier.
Maybe the baby needs to sleep in your room and seperate the two older kids. Maybe get the kids to bed earlier. Have a quiet time before bed. turn down the lights, give them a nice warm bath and if one of them misbehaves...they don't get to be part of night time tuck in time It is so hard to pick a punishment. Make them simple and maybe quick.. My key was to not buy into the insanity. but I did, yell and throw my own fits.

You are not the first mom who has felt that way and you won't be the last either to feel that way.

I would come and give you a weekend away if I could. My kids are grown up and I have grandkids now.

Answer 3

No u are not my 2 kids are a lot hard than i thought .See what mean is it has just been Me & dee 4 while & she alone is hard.But haveing the 2 its like a war they are always fighting about ever thing.But i have found that putting them 2 bed is get a nicer.1st thing is that i give them a bath that helps then i read a book & then i put in a movie.but see if they act up i take there stuff dogs they can't sleep w/out & that some times work but if does not work.Then i do the hards thing that brakes my hart shut the door w/the lights out.My kids hate the dark like u i just do time outs & take thigs & that does not work i try ever thing that i can think of that they luv most.Sorry if this does not help just thought u should know that u are not alone.AML

Answer 4

Stagger their bed times. Set up schedules. You are becoming a pushover. Stop it. Don't make excuses. You are the parent. Act like one. Put the 3 year old in bed by 7:30 and the 8 year old at 8. Spank them. Be consistent. Be the parent. If you don't get control now, your kids will grow up to be terrors.

Answer 5

- First off take a deep breath! They know that daddy is away and u are not in control, I bet they know how to manipulate u, So now u gotta switch it up. What u need 2 do is seperate the 3 and the 8yr old. Even if u have to put one on the couch. When bed time comes around if they get up tell them in a stern voice to get back to bed! if they keep gatting out, then u have to keep putting them back in, over and over till they stay, it might take an hour, but when u repeat this technique every night be stern, stay strong dont give in to their cries...they will not like it at first, but through repetition nightly it will work, I promise, show them whos boss!!!

Answer 6

Don't worry, all moms feel that way at one time or another....Some things to try: Make sure you get them up in the morning(don't let them sleep too late or they won't want to go to bed at night). Don't let the 3 yr old nap for more than an hour (again, won't want to sleep at bedtime). Have a bedtime routine that you always stick to, to get them in the habit of going to bed. For example, snack, get on the jammies, pee & brush the teeth, read a story. I always read stories to my kids. Let each child choose their story for the night and read both stories to both kids together on the couch. If you're lucky at least one of them will fall asleep during story time. If not, continue on with bedtime routine: get into bed, prayers, tuck in, kiss goodnight, turn off the light, turn on the nightlight. No getting out of bed and enforce with all your might---take away privileges for not listening---for example no tv the next day or no video games, or no bike, or no whatever is their favorite thing to do, until they get the idea you mean business, that bedtime routine must be followed or they won't get their privileges. It will work, just give it time. Good luck & God Bless.

Answer 7

I too have 3 boys ages 4,7, and 12. I no just how u feel. I was in that same situation. You need to be very firm and let them know that you are the adult and you make the rules not them. I don't beleive in spanking but I do beleive in time outs and taking things away and restriction. And be sure not to give in to them. My son asked for something and when I said no he got angry. He kept begging and begging me finally I asked him if he knows what the word no means he said yes but he knows if he bugs me long enough and cries that I would just get tired of hearing him and give in. Well he was right that is what I used to do.. But not anymore since then I have been firm and they listen much better now. Good Luck I no you need it.. Also counceling might help all of you..

Answer 8

My little sister does this. My parents has a stragety i think you should try. Its called the carrot and the stick. The carrot is basically being nice and giving them something. But you put limits in it like, "If you get out of bed one time whatever the item is is mine!" The stick is basically a whole bunch of punishments. (no you don't beat them with a stick LOL) I'm a teenager so i still remember why i did that. Maybe you haven't shone athorrity (sp?) like you say, "If you get out of bed one more time i'm gonna spank your butt!" But then they do and you don't spank them. Everytime you threaten them they think, "She won't really!" So the best thing you can do is prove to them you mean buisness! hope i help!

Answer 9

I had a similar situation...there are some issues you could attempt: a million. i offered the "tale Theater" as a component to make bedtime exciting so after the "ordinary," i might positioned on a narrative that he chosen. each and every so often I could positioned it on some circumstances yet finally he falls asleep. 2. I easily have a "treasure bag" crammed with little candies that he gets to p.c.. from interior the morning while he maintains to be in his mattress. 3. If there's a closet interior the room, the closet would be an enormously frightening place so we took the doors off my son's closet and positioned Christmas lighting fixtures fixtures on the interior so it lighting fixtures fixtures up a sprint yet no longer plenty to maintain him wakeful which aspects a night easy and makes the closet much less frightening. 4. We additionally offered a timer as quickly as we first began and can reassure my son that we'd examine lower back in on him in 5 minutes, we set the timer and while it went off, we'd pass in and examine on him, next time it would be 10 minutes, etc...this certain him that we've been there and if he began to stand up or replaced into getting scared, he might in basic terms look on the timer so he would desire to work out that we'd be checking in on him quickly. desire those help...sturdy luck, each and every so often in spite of the undeniable fact which you have enable her cry it out)-:

Answer 10

No, I've felt that way before with my children, and I don't have the added stress of having my husband serving in the military in a war zone! God bless you and your family for your service to our country!

The solution I've found to bedtime battles with kids is to simply enforce it. Don't give into their excuses when they get up, They are to go back to bed, period. Don't give them attention, don't spank their butts (sounds like it probably wouldn't do much good anyway). Just calmly and matter of factly put them back to bed. They'll push you at first to see if you really mean it, don't give in to them. Remember, you're the mom, you're the one who has to remain in control, you're in charge, NOT the kids! Best of luck to you!

Answer 11

Your not the only one, your an overwhelmed Mom! Maybe try seperating them, put one in the room w/ the baby instead. If they get up, take one of their favorite toys, get a garbage bag and say look @ your toy, you get in bed or it goes in the trash bag, and follow through. Follow through is the most important part, because if you don't, they will never take you seriously. Good Luck....