I want info. about Catholic infant/child batism..............................?

Question

My 2 year old son's father and I were never married and are no longer together. He is Catholic. I have always disagreed with the Catholic religion. Anyway today my son's dad said he talked with the priest or whatever at his church about baptising our son and the priest (or whoever) said that he needs consent from both of the childs parents. I told my son's dad that NO he does not have my consent.
I do have questions though. Does the Catholic church require consent from both parents to baptise a young child? why? how strict are they on having consent from both biological parents? Why do they baptise young children? What process does it involve and what all is involved in Catholic baptism of a child? What will it mean to my son's dad and his family if my son is not baptised in their church?????

Oops....Sorry for the error in spelling.......
I meant infant/child BAPTISM

hey....I apologize for typing "whatever" when referring to the priest. I really am not sure what they are to be called because I have heard them referred to as "Father", "Priest", "Clergy", "Pastor". So I was not trying to offend anyone I just don't remember specifically what my son's father called the man he talked with.

Yes his family is "old fashioned" and "devout" Catholics.

My comment to Cadadmail :::::
Thanx for your answer but you have misunderstood me a little when you say that I am against talking to a priest and that I need to "grow up".
I am not against talking to a priest. Although, no I do not agree with their religion. I have attended church my entire life and have a strong faith in God. I grew up attending a Church of God and now attend an Assembly of God church. My son lives with me and goes to his dad's every other weekend. Every other Sunday he attends a Catholic church and every other Sunday he attends a church with me. Although I will never agree with the Catholic church's teachings because they do not line up with what is in the Holy Bible, I am just trying to get some information.
I think I am acting responsible and "grown up".

Answer 1

Here ya go

Answer 2

Catholic's believe that a child should be baptized as soon as it is born because if the child should die it is believed that if it isn't baptized it will not go to heaven but to pergutory which is a place where you go until judgement day if you aren't sent to hell. Of course, a baby is without sin until the age of 13 but at baptism, a baby is also baptized with what they call "GOD PARENTS" should the parents die. The GOD PARENTS are to look over the child as if it were their own even if someone else raises it and introduce it into the church. Yes the baptism needs the consent of both parents and even though you are not together, should you decide to baptize the child, you all need to put your differences to the side and be there together for the child. Here in our church, if you all weren't married in the church, the GOD PARENTS have to be married in the church.. I don't know what religion you are but it isn't bad to have the baby baptized. I would cover all my bases, in case, it is true that the Lord would like all babies to be baptized. I was baptized as a child but later when I became older, I requested to get baptized because it was my decision, not my parents, but I am glad I was baptized as a baby too....By the way I am Catholic and my husband is Presbyterian but he allowed our son to be baptized , receive his communion, and now receive his confirmation in the Catholic Church...All they do for a baptism is you dress your child in white clothing and the parents and GOD PARENTS stand at the water font and the priest says a prayer and puts holy water on the child's head and then dries it and then they have the mass/service and after it is over you all go out and eat or have a little party to celebrate...It is real nice, nothing to worry about...

Answer 3

You ask: "Does the Catholic church require consent from both parents to baptise a young child." - Unfortunately (as you seem unhappy about this) talking with a priest is the quickest way to get the best most accurate answers.
"Why do they baptise young children?" - This is for the benefit of the parents - as children die and as parents wanted their children to go to heaven - the church baptises soon after birth.
"What process does it involve and what all is involved in Catholic baptism of a child?" - It's non painful, just water on the forehead. (Well holy water, no vampire jokes)
"What will it mean to my son's dad and his family if my son is not baptised in their church?" - Do you care? It does not sound like you do, so there is no discussion needed. Sorry, but the truth is the dad and his family will be hurt. If he and his family are catholic, and involved catholics, then this will hurt a lot.
You understand it will not change your son. As he is raised by you. The church is strict about parents being involved - so he probably won't get the ceremony. As you are the sole caregiver the church will only listen to you, anyway. As you state: "I have always disagreed with the Catholic religion." it seems likely your son will not be catholic untill you get answers, and you don't want to talk to a priest. Interesting.
As a father of a little boy, I will pray the dad sees his son often, and that you grow up.
Religion is just a tool, not a end all be all of who people are. Every Catholic has questions - issues - but for harmony and for the children - adults keep these to themselves, Children need stucture, and faith. Not a lot of adult garbage. It's hard being a child. You are blessed with a miracle and have issues with religion - that's two different things. Someday you'll see that. You more than I KNOW GOD IS PRESENT _ BEACUSE YOU GAVE BIRTH TO YOUR SON!!!

Answer 4

I'm catholic and my husband is not. We just baptized our 5 month old in the Catholic church. We are not the everyday church goers either.... So it's really what you believe in and how you feel about your faith... Yes, Church does require that both parents consent. Why? Well it's a bit complicated to explain because I think it's a bit hypocritical myself, but the Catholic religion frowns upon divorce. They expect that if your baptizing your child in the Catholic church, both parents will be teaching and bringing the child up in the catholic faith as well... Some churches will still do a baptism even if you are divorced but you will most likely hear a speech about how it's a sin and all.... Blah, Blah, Blah...
When baptism of a child is being done, both parents are expected to be apart of this because you are introducing your child to the catholic religion or faith. As the child gets older and he or she is still not baptized, he or she will not be able to receive Communion in the Catholic Church, get married in a catholic church so on and so forth until it's completed. The child will receive a baptism certificate and it will be registered on file in church records for when the child attends religion school and then confirmation (which is also recorded on file). If your child later on decided he wants to continue his faith as a Catholic, all you did is make his life easier for him so he doesn't have to go through all this at an older age. Also if he married a Catholic, he'll be able to get married in a catholic church and everything will be on record... Just because you got "Baptized" doesn't always necessarily mean you HAVE to become a Catholic. We go to a christian church and I'm very much a Catholic... It kills my family, but it's not their life... Good Luck to you! Don't worry to much about this. It's not really a big deal.

Answer 5

+ Does the Catholic church require consent from both parents to baptise a young child? Why?

Yes, because you and the father are the child's parents. Until the child can speak for himself then you two speak for him.

+ How strict are they on having consent from both biological parents?

The Law of the Catholic Church, Code of Canon Law, section 868 states: For an infant to be baptized licitly the parents must consent. http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2X.HTM

+ Why do they baptise young children?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, "Born with a fallen human nature and tainted by original sin, children also have need of the new birth in Baptism to be freed from the power of darkness and brought into the realm of the freedom of the children of God, to which all men are called."

Infant baptism is not a new thing. There are non-biblical documented sources starting in the second century telling of infant Baptism.

There are even several passages in the Bible where whole households were baptized. This would include everyone who lived there, men, women, children, and infants.

Acts 16:15, "After she and her household had been baptized"

Acts 16:33, "then he and all his family were baptized at once."

Acts 18:8, "came to believe in the Lord along with his entire household, and many of the Corinthians who heard believed and were baptized."

1 Corinthians 1:16, "I baptized the household of Stephanas"

St. Paul wrote that baptism has replaced circumcision (Col 2:11-12), and in Judaism circumcision was performed primarily on infants.

+ What process does it involve and what all is involved in Catholic baptism of a child?

The father, and you if you wish, will be required to take a class explaining Baptism and your responsibilities. Two godparents will be chosen. And all with gather for the ceremony. It is very solemn and beautiful.

+ What will it mean to my son's dad and his family if my son is not baptised in their church?????

I cannot speak to the feelings of others but if it won't hurt you or your child then why not?

With love in Christ.

Answer 6

The bible says that we are to repent and be baptized. Since a two yr old has nothing to repent for and would not understand it if he did, he cannot have a true baptism.
I believe this all started during the time of the plague. Many children were dying. Of course back then, the average person did not have access to the scriptures and would not have been able to read them if they did have access. So they were easily mislead. Whether it was by an honest misunderstanding or by deceit, I don't know. But, the church began to baptize babies in order they said to save them before they died. On the surface it may sound harmless. Some say "What bad could come from a child being baptized, even if it is done too soon?" The problem with that kind of thinking is that it ignores the fact that there are millions of Catholics out there who think they have been baptized. They have not. So the end result is that they never do get baptized.

Answer 7

It's not really possible to say what it will mean to your son's father's family, because no one online here knows them. If they are devout Catholics, it may make some friction, and you might be seen as selfish for not thinking of your baby's salvation. Some Catholics still believe we're born with a sin on the soul, aka Original Sin. If they're "old school" Catholic, they may become upset because they might see you as refusing to have your child's "sin" washed away.

Now, if they're not "old school" Catholic, they may be cool with your decision, and realize that you have rights to educate your child in religion, just as his father has these same rights. They may not become too involved. Really, it's a crapshoot as far as predicting what they'll say, you're a better judge of that than anyone here online.

What Catholics believe now? Catholics believe that Original Sin is being born into the environment of sin, and that it's inevitable. Baptism doesn't wash away any sin on a baby's soul, it's as if the parents and godparents are dedicating the child to Christ. The parents and godparents take on vows to teach the child all about the Catholic religion.

Yes, the Catholic church requires consent of both parents. I wouldn't worry about your son being baptized, unless his father kidnaps him and lies to the priest, saying that his mother has passed away. If that were to happen, I don't believe the baptism would be valid, though.

Btw, if your ex talked to a priest, just say he talked to a priest. Do not say that he talked to a priest "or whatever" as this can be offensive to some Catholics here online. Catholicism isn't "whatever."

If you really wanna know the intricacies of child baptism, ask a priest. I assure you, the church won't have "whatevers" on staff answering your questions.

Answer 8

In most normal circumstances, both parents of a child would be Catholic, as Catholicism is very strict in their marriage regulations (they will not recognize a marriage between a Catholic and most non-Catholics, neither will they preside over one). Given the amount of children born before marriage, the consent of both parents becomes a legal substitute for the requirement.

Catholicism baptizes children because their doctrine is as follows: all humans are born with original sin, this original sin is what results in "death," and that baptism erases original sin. This doctrine of original sin forces Catholics to baptize early, as a means to ensure that a child will not go to purgatory / hell due to original sin.

Personally, this doctrine is not correct. For one, it binds God to the law where God is not bound, but rather is, the law. (See Matthew 12: 1-8 for a similar story; in the same way, the Lord is not bound by the Sabbath, but is the Lord of the Sabbath.) God is not pictured as a heartless or violent despot that would send those who cannot act upon what is right or wrong to their eternal doom; rather, God is a righteous judge, who looks at all aspects of our humanity, knowledge and circumstance, and gives us the reward / penalty that is due. Also, the word of God is strict with regards to when one can be baptized: "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved..." (Mark 16: 16); belief must come first before baptism, otherwise the baptism becomes nothing more than an empty ceremony...

The Catholic baptism ceremony, with some additions or considerations depending on the parish, involves the parents and "godparents", who will be designated as the child's spiritual guardians. As the child cannot answer for himself, the parents and godparents will answer for the child's spiritual upbringing. The priest will then baptize the child by either sprinkling or immersing him in water, then anointing him with holy oil (chrism)(I might be wrong; the order might be reversed)... then the child is baptized into the Catholic faith, and from there he is pretty much expected to take part in it. (This is another reason why I find child baptism dubious; it binds the child to a faith that is not his own, and most people simply act on it as a form of habit rather than out of sincere belief)...

To the child's father and family, I cannot answer for them what their reaction will be if he should not be baptized into their faith. Most will be considerate and will not love the child any less, but some may be very "fanatical" and may disown the child because of it. Still, I believe that a person must be aware and sure of his faith before he is baptized into it, and that God will not condemn a child for not being baptized at a time when he cannot decide for himself...

Answer 9

First let me answer the final question... If he is a very deep Catholic it will crush him and his family. now... the reason that the catholic church wants to have mutual consent is that the Church wants to be sure that the child will grow in a strong faith and will have the joint understanding of the Faith into which the parents are bringing their child . Baptisim is the oldest of all the Churches Dogma. It dates back to early Christianity and Judism.
Baptisim is used to cleanse the soul of original Sin ( sin left from the fall of ADAM and EVE). Christ himself was baptised by John the baptist and did so as a practicing Jew. The Catholic faith has just carried that over as tradition and it has remained for 2000 years.

The process is simply anointing with oils perfumes and water in the sign of the cross on the forehead and reaffirming the nicene creed. (your belief in the father son and holy spirit)

Answer 10

I was raised Catholic, and have a bit of info on this.

First, the church has been known to be pretty lenient about needing both parents consent. My mother had no contact with my father once I was born, and was willing to have me baptized. If you're ex's family is persistent enough, they may be able to convince the priest to do it, (in the child's best interest of course...sarcasm) or find a different church that's not as strict about the requirement.

They baptize as early as possible because of something they refer to as "original sin". Basically, according to the mythology, all humans are born into sin, and must be baptized to wash it away. Historically, though, its done to get the children as members of the church as early as possible.

The process varies a bit from church to church, but typically, they have the parents and god-parents at the font (holds the holy water), they say a few prayers, and then make the sign of the cross on the baby's head with the water.

By agreeing to it, both parents agree to raise the child with catholic values, and are members of the church. Depending on how devout your child's grandparents and family is, it can mean alot. My mother was a bit more free thinking though, and allowed me the option to pick when I was old enough to decide. I got a very good education in their school...too bad they educated faith right out of me. I was told weekly that I was going to hell because my parents weren't married and I wasn't baptized.

Hope this helps you to make an informed decision.

Answer 11

I attend an Assembly of God church too. I think your baby should be dedicated to the Lord, but Baptism is something that your child should decide later in life. I know different denominations view things differently, and it is just something for you and your son's father to decide together. Talk to your pastor and maybe a local priest. They could both give you an explanation of how each denomination views Baptism. Take what you get there and pray about it and ask God to give you an understanding and direction in handling your son's religious upbringing.