How much should an average guy spend on a first date?

Question

I've been on a lot of first dates with girls I met online and through friends. When I take them to bars or to Chuck e. Cheese or whatever, I get the sense they think I'm cheap. But when I take them to a really fancy restaurant, I always feel like I spent too much on them. I took a girl to a seafood place by the beach with a nice view and spent $125 on dinner and another $40 on drinks at a fancy hotel bar. And then, the next day, she emails me to say we should just be friends! This happens to me all the time.
Sometimes I think it doesn't (or shouldn't) matter how much you spend on a first date, but I know it does matter to alot of girls. I'm an average looking guy, and kind of short (about 5'6"). I told them I was a lawyer so I know they expect alot on the first date.
So how important is the money you spend on that first date to make a good impression? I want to meet someone who will be happy to go to Denny's with me for dinner but I dont think that will happen. please help,John

Answer 1

2 dollars

Answer 2

A first day should not be a dinner date. The best way to gauge if you re compatible is to meet for coffee at Starbucks or even Barnes and Noble. This will give you an opportunity to talk and see if you have anything in common. If that goes well, agree to talk on the phone for a while, and put off the big dinner date until after a month or so. People don t give themselves a chance to know one another long enough before starting to do lavish things. Another thing you could do before going "all out" on fancy restaurants is to have a small dinner party. After you ve done the coffee thing, and talked on the phone for a while, ask a few of your friends and that potentially "special" person to come to your house or apartment for a small dinner party. This will give your friends an opportunity to see this person you ve been talking about. I know times have changed and everyone is on the internet, but this is how people got together prior to the age of technology. I think it would be refreshing to recapture some of the social interactions of the past.

Answer 3

Pick activities/restaurants of moderate cost. If her dinner entree is over $30, you're probably spending too much.

Fancy, expensive dates might also scare her away.
A high-dollar place may give her the impression that:
1) you are trying too hard
2) your social/economic status is far too different for her
3) when it comes time for her to treat you on a later date, you will expect her to take you to an expensive place as well - which may not be feasable for her.

Save the high-dollar dates for later.

A cheap date that focuses on the two of you getting to know one another makes a far better impression than an awkward date at an expensive bar or restaurant.

Answer 4

Well John, you answered your own question money should not be an issue on a 1st date. I think that the biggest mistake that you've made so far is even telling them what you do for a living. If you really want a relationship to work, then you need let somebody love you for who you are, not what you do for a living. And if they ask, just simply respond, I prefer not to discuss it, and avoid spending too much money on the 1stn date, as a female, I always feel like if a guy spends a bunch of money on me that he's trying to buy me or something instead of just trying to get to know me

Answer 5

If the date is truly interested in you, she'll be more concerned with you and not the amount you are spending on her. However, it's probably not a bad idea to make an impression on her by taking her someplace nice (too nice will seem like bragging and give her the sense that you are too obsessed with your money and not nice enough will likely convince her that you still belong with the college bachelor crowd). Take her someplace that will induce conversation but won't run you more than a $100 for both dinner and drinks.

Answer 6

Well if you ask me it should just be the thought that counts. But if she's more high maintenance than you want to pay it's not worth it. It sounds to me like these girls you're dating are just gold diggers and are only dating you for your money. Don't try so hard and I'm sure you'll find a nice girl that will love you for who you are sooner or later.

Answer 7

I'll skip the nice talk because it won't help you that much. You sound like you don't have game. since you asked about $, I'll just focus on topic. Take no offense, just getting my point across and it might benefit you and perhaps save you a lot of $.

On a first date, never take her to those expensive places, are you crazy? It is counter intuitive. You are setting yourself up to get used by girls. And you will come across all wrong, e.g. like you are a nice guy who is willing to shell out a tone of $ to BUY her attention.

I usually spend $0-5 on my first date. my last 2 dates.. the girls buy me drinks n alcohol! they buy my attention and i show them a good time.

Instead of eating with them.. trying eating by urself. ask girls out on a date during the time they most likely will not eat. take her to a relaxing place.. like Starbucks or some place to sit and talk, or take her for a walk.

oh. I'll throw in a lil bonus.

asking for the date
*talk about you being busy before telling her when you are free to meet.
*tell her if nothing else, she sound like she will be a good friend.

during the first date
*don't let the date exceed 1hr, you are qualifying these bitches not the other way around. 30 minutes is usually all they get. if they don't meet my qualification, i get up and leave.
*don't give them direct answers
*don't tell them you are a lawyer!!!! why??? stop that!
*be funny, intersting and a lil cocky

I'll end here, good luck

Answer 8

I would suggest that for the first few "dates" to just meet for coffee or for a walk or something else of that nature. You know, just have time to hang out and talk, get to know eachother. If both of you want to continue beyond that, then try a nicer place to eat. Find out what type of food she likes and then take her to that kind of restraurant. it doesnt' have to be super expensive, but please, no Dennys or chucky cheese unless she specifically requests that.
And if your height is an issue, then go for shorter girls. Tall girls aren't gonna want to bend down to kiss you, and short girls dating taller guys can be sort of awkward too so they might appreciate your height.

Answer 9

I know the few dates that Ive been on that are at fancy restuarants..Ive always asked if I can at least split the bill with them. I feel that a girl should at least chip in every now & then..depending on who asked who out. I dont like the guy paying for everything.

Answer 10

at the start, i might decide on a woman who appeared 6/10 clearly over a woman who replaced into 7/10 clearly and 10/10 3 hours after she began her makeup and hair. Sexual charm is so plenty greater beneficial than actual. i'd desire to pop a ***** in basic terms via chatting to an time-honored-finding woman i in my opinion like, yet does not sense a ingredient speaking to a drop-lifeless staggering woman who i did no longer like. So if he likes you greater beneficial than her, there should not be too plenty concern approximately him fantasizing approximately her while he's with you -_- additionally, men oftentimes do no longer in basic terms pass out with the ladies folk that turn them on the main, until eventually they are ridiculously shallow. He needless to say likes you, and whether he secretly thinks you're grotesque he will stick to you if he enjoys your business enterprise.