My boyfriend got mad at me for giving him parenting advice?

Question

He's a single dad of 2 young kids and his 3 year old son was throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store. He was attempting to talk his son out of it for well over 5 min and his son wouldn't give up. I told my boyfriend that he was rewarding his son with communication for being bad and that he should try ignorning him and continue shopping. He glared at me and later he told me not to tell him how to raise his kids. The thing is, I'm pregnant and if he won't let me help now then I don't know what it will be like when we have another one. He makes me feel that because I don't yet have a kid, that I know nothing and I'm beginning to think that it won't change. I've showen him tons of times that my ideas work but he still won't implemet them. And I've talked to him and he says, "they are my kids." What about when we have our own? Then what? I have no idea what to do. I'm thinking of asking him to join counseling before our baby is born.

Answer 1

Don't ever give advice to your sig. other. Especially when you don't have any kids, yet. Believe me, when your baby is born, you will do things totally different then you thought. I know all about the reward and stuff, I studied psychology and counseling in college, but it's hard to ignore your kids even when you know it's best. For you and your relationship, before the baby is born, seek parenting classes or counseling. This way you two are on the same page. The new arrival will be tense, stressful, and sleepless enough and the baby will sense your anxiety. Prepare now together, but don't ever tell a guy what he needs to do. Maybe make recommendations.

Answer 2

First if your child is throwing a temper in the store REMOVE him from the store. Just take him and whomever else and go home. You can always go back later for stuff.
Second he needs to tell his son that what he is doing is "Unacceptable Behavior and it will NOT get him anything at all"
Third you both need to give him a treat for being good in a store. Before you go to the store ask him what he would like to have (but make sure it is NOT sugar of any kind or toy) like his own box of cerial or fruit or a new roll of socks. He can think about what he wants during the car ride there and then if he acts up during the shopping MAKE HIM take it back to the shelf where he got it. That will be devistating to him and he will probably never act up in a store again.

As with your boyfriend i think you should talk to him about this issue and keep your voice low so he doesnt think you are trying to start a fight. You are right though, he sounds like he was rewarding him for bad behavior but he might be trying to teach his son something. You should ask.

Answer 3

being a parent is the hardest job in the world and sometimes it feel like everyone is out to pick faults in the way you parent, i also think that people in general only get defencive about personal critacism when deep down they know what your saying is true and then its a pride thing.
you definatly need to talk to him about you future together as a family. at the very least when your baby is born always back each other up even if you dont agree at the time and then talk about it with your partner in private away from the kids. children have a built in weakness detector and will play the two of you against each other. good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Answer 4

I think that counseling is a good idea. You both need to learn co-parenting skill before the baby. When you give advice is it while the problem is going on? My hubby and I present a united front. If we have a problem with how one of us is parenting we wait untill we are alone and the kids n bed then we discuss it and come to an agreement.

Answer 5

You may be right about the counseling. You both need to have a plan on how to raise the baby. You need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline. You need to go over this now so there are no surprises when the baby comes. It may help with his kids, too.

Answer 6

First thing first.... your boyfriend is a man, he is commanding your respect. Do not correct him in front of his children, even when they are yours. You are undermining his authority- if you were sooooo smart, you would have known this. In private, you talk to him about it, and even then don't say it's your idea, say you read it in the Parents magazine. He has had kids long before you were a thought in his head (the lower one to boot) Gain some humility, it will produce harmony. Respect the man for taking charge of the situation.

Go to couseling, it will do you a world of good.

Answer 7

I won't ask why in the world would you put yourself in the position of being involved with such an immature and selfish man, let alone let him reproduce again, too late for that.

I think the counseling idea is good but don't be surprised when he won't go. Go yourself, you're going to need it.

Answer 8

It's a shame you couldn't figure all this out BEFORE you got pregnant with him,huh??
Yes, the 2 of you definitely need help!! These 2 children are going to be yours, too, once you are married!!
You need to insist on counseling before you marry! Parents need to agree on how children will be disciplined BEFORE they decide to bring these precious little things into the world!! It is hard enough to raise them right, with both parents in agreement, but impossible to do it with parents who are not in accord as to how to discipline!! Good luck to you both!

Answer 9

I think, that you may have to reconsider being with this guy. If he is not willing to discuss disciplining techniques with you then he will not listen when yours comes along. Even though you decided to have sex before you married him and are pregnant with his child doesn't mean that you have to marry him. And if you and him are going to have a life together than you need to have some say so when his other children are in your home.
Move on.

Answer 10

sturdy, if his mum and dad are going i think it could be sufficient. yet when now no longer i'd not enable my daughter bypass. I mean my primary downside is sex. they'll be on my own. My sister obtained pregnant in extreme college her senior year. hi it occurs. i think it really is rather about your daughter. are you able to suspect her. Do you concentration on she'd are attempting something like that. i do no longer want even with the undeniable fact that my diverse 2 sisters might want to have. So in case you think her then sufficient. even with the undeniable fact that i don't believe of i might want to enable me daugther bypass any the position with a guy without his mother and father going.