About 2 weeks ago we took away my 5 yr old daughter's blanket so she would stop sucking her thumb. The first few nights were not to bad, but now it isn't good and seems to be getting worse. Every night turns into a 1&1/2 hour battle to get her to stay in her room, stop crying, whining and throwing fits. All of this commotion of course while the two year old is running out of her bed as fast as we can get her in there. By the time the 2 yr old finally gives in, the 5 yr old is in full swing and starts the 2yr old over again. Of course pushing us over our breaking point (which I think is just where they want us), then my husband starts taking everything away from her for the next day we are frustrated and very angry, and screaming at each other and eventually the kids. When they finally fall asleep I am so upset and mad that it takes me another hour or so to beat myself up about what I did so wrong. Then I finally fall asleep only to dread starting the next battle with everyone.
2006-08-21 16:14:19 · 6 answers · asked by saint5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We have been trying to wean her from the blanket for about 6 months. Only letting her have it at bedtime, because she only sucks the thumb with the blanket. Once she lost her first two baby teeth and her permanents are now in jeopardy, we need to get her to stop that is when we decided to take the blanket away to pull the thumb out. Every night is a bath, snack, brush teeth, book, kisses & hugs - good night --- that is when it begins. The begging and pleading and crying and total fits to keep us coming back and keep her sister who is in the next room awake.
2006-08-22 02:31:36 · update #1
You poor things!!! Everyone is upset!!! Did all this start over taking the blanket away?? If so, GIVE it back!! She will part with it in due time!! You can get to a point with taking away things, that the child doen't care-- & you are teaching her that if something is a problem, get rid of it!! Why don't you try reading a story book to them, putting on some soft, child appropriate music, then lying down with one of them, perhaps rub their back for a few minutes, & she will probably be asleep!!
Bed-time should be a quiet, peaceful time for all of you!!
Best of luck to you!!
2006-08-21 16:32:07 · answer #1 · answered by Betty T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be firm and not give in. I babysit and I've seen my fair share of kids who cannot go to bed independently. Just because your child cries doesn't mean that you will ruin their entire lives! Put them in the bed firmly yet lovingly. Try following a bedtime routine(bath, story, prayers, music) Say good night and if the kids get out bring them back to bed with out saying a word ( NO POSITIVE INTERACTION). I saw on Nanny 911 that a parent may have to do this over and over again until it works. Also did you try rewards..stickers, a small toy, praise etc.
I know one of the 2 year olds I babysit for is read to, given his pacifier and blanket then put into the crib. The mom told me to turn the lights out and close the door. I was shocked! Their 5 year old is also a great sleeper. NO ISSUES or crying! You are the boss. You and your husband should work together, not against each other. That tension can't be helping the kids.
2006-08-21 17:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sam M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like this all started by taking away the 5 year olds blanket, and pardon me for saying this, but that really doesn't look like it's working too well, at least not to me. I would give her back the blanket, especially at bedtime. You can wean her off it (although she'll give it up on her own) gradually, never try to force a kid to give up a "lovey" cold turkey. Allow her the blankey at bedtime, and maybe in the mornings as she's waking up. Those are the times she'll need it the worst.
If you're worried about her sucking her thumb in kindergarten or pre k, don't. This is one of those habits you let peer pressure take care of for you, because it will. The rest of the kids will see her doing it, and either say something (ok, tease her a bit) or she'll realize soon enough that no one else is sucking their thumb, and she'll quit it soon enough. BTW, I have a good friend whose daughter had a "beebee" that even went to kindergarten with her, "BeeBee" had to stay in the backpack, but she'd let a corner of BeeBee hang out of the backpack--so BeeBee could breathe. I don't think BeeBee went to first grade with her. So relax over the thumb sucking, it will go away on its own.
As far as the night time yo yo's, you just have to be firm with the children. Tell them it's bedtime, go through the whole evening routine, and then just matter of factly turn out the light and walk out. If they get up (which they will) calmly put them back to bed...give them NO attention whatsoever. DO NOT allow extra drinks, snacks, etc., all this is attention getting behavior, and if you budge an inch, they'll take a mile. Just quickly put them back to bed, and keep doing it. Losing your temper is giving them attention as well, so keep your cool. Taking away their toys the next day isn't going to work, it's not immediate enough for a 5 year old and 2 year old, they'll just be miserable they don't have the toys and won't remember why. Also, make sure they are tired when you're trying to put them to bed as well. But the secret is to realize it's attention they want, and you're giving it to them, even if it's negative attention. Kids don't really care.
Best of luck to you, I hope you get this worked out, for your own sake!
2006-08-21 17:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do they sleep in their own rooms? if not put one to bed in your room while the other is in the other room going to bed...and a spanking wouldnt hurt for a cpl nights either,,,for either of them,,,you sound like you have both lost control of the situation...being mean is sometimes hard to do to the children...but the yoyo syndrome must stop...the 5 yr old is old enough to understand about rules the 2 yr old will fall in line soon enough,,,its not easy but just be firm and shut the door if they pass out by the door thats fine too a few nights on the floor will make em appreicate being tucked into bed
2006-08-21 16:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
smack their bottoms! If they know that there is nothing good to be gained from leaving their room (ie: hugs, cuddles, more kisses, I love you's) then they will stay in there.
First you have to make sure that they are tired enough to fall asleep. Are they getting enough fresh air and excercise? Are they eating foods that are low in caffiene (parents over diet coke their kids...no sugar but as much caffiene as a cup of joe!) Is there a bedtime routine? Something that starts out..."it's 7:45pm and time to brush teeth." then a story and a kiss on the forehead. maybe soothing warm baths will relax them. Do the routine for a week...CONSISTANTLY. If that doesn't work...smack time. And no, believe me, the smack hurts your weak little heart more than their fat little bottoms.
2006-08-21 16:25:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its complicated with so many kids notjust you,the best thing i think you could do is read to them every night put them down to bed and read a story to them they will fall asleep while you read if they dont you tell them when your finished that because they were so good while you read that story tommorow they get to choose there book and see how it goes
2006-08-21 16:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋