My daughter's friend is autistic and bites her - what to do?

Question

I have been good friends with a woman for over 21/2 years, since our daughters were 3 month old. Last year her daughter was diagnosed as non-verbal autistic. She receives intensive therapy and has made great strides, but she is only functioning at a 12- month level. I am extremely supportive of my friend and their situation. For reasons that we can only guess (frustration?), her daughter has started to bite my daughter when they play together, especially if my daughter is too "in her face." Bite as in teeth marks, bruising. Unfortunately, that is often - my daughter is very maternal towards her friend and tries to help her with things, whether it's leading her somewhere or giving her something (toy, food, etc.). My friend chastises her daughter, but only after the deed has been done. She is not "on top of her" as I think she should be, just as any parent whose child bites should be. What can I do? Is this the beginning of the end of our children playing together?

Answer 1

Children with autism sometimes don't understand discipline. They sometimes can not comprehend what has happened and why you are yelling at them. Especially at the 12 month level. A one year old doesn't understand that much either, so we can not expect this of your friends child. Your child should be wary of what is going on with her friend and try to avoid biting situations by being wary of her actions. I know it can be hard but a mental disease such as this, is sometimes hard to undersand and your friend should contact her doctor (specialist on autism) and see what she can do to stop this type of behavior. Your friends daughter may be trying to convey something but doesn't know how. It is a tough and sad situation and a "specialist" should help all of you cope with the changes. Good luck.

Answer 2

I have worked with children with autism for over 8 years, and as a behaviorist I, along with all my co-workers in the same profession, actually suggest ignoring the behavior if it happens, because the behavior is to seek out attention. Obviously you dont want your daughter getting bit so what you can do is try to stop the behavior before it happens and redirect it into something else. Throughout the play session give the girl positive feedback like "Good job playing" to reinforce her when she's playing properly. Also there should be some sort of behavior plan written up for this specific behavior by this girls therapist, if there isn't, mom needs to ask for one to be done which will detail how this behavior is to be dealt with.

Answer 3

We have a friend with an autistic child, and she gets pleasure out of others pain. If my children cry for any reason, she laughs. This really pisses me off, especially when she hit my two year old with a swing and she laughed. But I couldn't get mad because I know she doesn't know it's wrong. So, I keep a better eye on my children. I never let them out of my sight, be responsible for your children, and they won't get hurt. The interaction with your daughter helps your friends daughter, so taking away this time together will only punish your daughters. Keep an eye out, and good luck.

Answer 4

no its not the end of your or their fiendship. never let go of what you have you child is very important and should always be but so is your friends child. im glad you are helping out and tring to understand. there is a lot. mos of the time i would say bite the person back but they are just children and dont understand that two wrongs dont make anything right it just makes it worse. i would try a nasty tasting soap or go to your friend and tell her you dont wanna add to her plate full and you want to help but your daughter is getting bit and has bruses ask her what she wants you to do so the girls can remane friends and play together so the two of you may also have a good friendship.

good luck

Answer 5

Handcuffs & A Muzzel!

Answer 6

Where are *you* while these children are playing together?

Answer 7

Cover you girl in garlic oil.