I am very hostile toward my brother. Can someone help?

Question

I am 17 and I am very mean toward my 12 year old brother. I am pretty sure that this hate comes from my parent's obvious favoritism toward him. It seems the more my parents pamper him and give him everything his heart desires, the more I dislike my brother. I HAVE tried to talk to my mom and dad about this, but they simply deny it and go back to showing him favoritism. I do not want to hate my brother so much, but I can not help it. It seems that I can be laughing one moment, but as soon as my brother shows up I become really ticked off. I also have a younger sister of 15. I do no have this feeling toward her. I want to have a better relationship with my brother, but it seems near impossible. Can someone help? Any advice would be appreciated.

I forgot to mention that both of my parents were youngest children growing up. I believe that is why they see things only from my brother's point of view. I have told them time and time again that this is probably why they seem to favor my younger brother. As always, they will dismiss the idea as if they could never except that they may not be completely perfect parents.

Answer 1

just try to ignore it..as he gets older, he will realize he cant get everything he wants... ur parents may give him wat he wants, but its the rest of the world and people in his life that wont..he will realize that thinking he can get watever he wants from other people and stuff will have a negative effect.. when u get angry, just go do something that calms you.. go to ur room and watch tv or something.. go outside and shoot some hoops... or just plain walk away and ignore it.. reading a book or listening to music will help alot.. good luck with this.. keep talking to ur parents maybe theyll understand, but be mature about it as maturity will help alot

Answer 2

If you seriously think your parents are playing favorites then keep track of each instance in a week. At the end of the week sit down with them, calmly, and show them the proof. Perhaps your folks don't see it as favoritism but only the differences in your ages. You are 17, almost grown and he is 12 and still a child. If you want to prove that you are right, then you need to show your parents and give them the chance to either explain or defend. A 12yr old isn't going to have the responsibilities of a 17yr old. And as much as it might not be fair, parents are always expecting more out of us oldest children and letting the "baby" of the family get away with murder. Its been the same since the beginning of time. Be happy that in a year, you will be on your way to college and he'll still be growing up.

Most importantly, you need to realize that its not your brothers fault and direct your anger to the right place. You sound jealous and envious and at 17 you should be having so much more going for you than a 12yr old, you need to figure out why you are so threatened. Are you scared to grow up? Are you unsure about yourself as a young woman? Maybe your parents are asking too much of you and don't realize that you are not going to know everything and not going to be scared of the unknown. Its normal to feel like you are feeling, you just aren't directing it to the right person. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

You seem very mature to realize why you feel the way you do and teh fact that you've tried handling it. I'm sorry for you as that favoritism must suck. If you've talked to your parents like you say the only next step is to start saving towards an apartment of your own. Next year, you're legal to move out. Maybe the favoritism won't bother as much and your parents will start to appreciate you onec you're gone.

Answer 4

Dude i know how you feel, my parents always treat my ten year old brother like hes an angel. Whatever he wants, he would cry for and get. I hate it and it just ticks me off being near him. I've tried a couple of diffrent methods but nothings really worked. If you find some way to get along with him. Please tell me.

Answer 5

Hey man do not be so hostile toward your brother. Like you said he is only 12.try to remember when you were 12 and everything went your way.Also remember you were the first born and things went your way or no way huh.Try to do things as if you were 12 again it just might work.

Answer 6

He'd probable be in basic terms as lots of a jerk if he became into the Christian and you have been the atheist. His behaviour does not have something to do with atheism as such, in basic terms with an unwillingness to settle for that no longer every person have confidence the comparable element. Bashing Christians isn't required to be on the CV of an atheist, in basic terms which you do no longer have confidence in gods.

Answer 7

you are his big brother and no one can change that, your mom and dad are being a parent to a 12 year old child that his big brother the one he looks up to and the one that should be teaching him stuff "hates him" do you blame them. Be a big brother before he startes hating you and loses all respect for you.

Answer 8

sounds like your feelings should be directed toward your parents rather than your little brother who didn't tell your parents to favor him.

perhaps deep down your brother feels a little uncomfortable about being treated favorably.

don't be mad at your brother for something he didn't do.

Answer 9

Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you are going to be mean to him, snap it until the urge goes away

Or set up a fine system so that every time your a going to be mean you give him money like a quarter or something

God Speed!

Answer 10

sounds like you are jealous....just grow up......hes a kid.....he will change and so will you