"Can't afford" is not an option; this is my spouse's old college buddy who (unfortunately) attended our wedding and was so rude to me I nearly hit him. I've been telling my spouse for years that I refuse to interact with the buddy again, and now he's getting married!
I don't harbor hard feelings about his bad behavior anymore, but I won't put myself in that position again. Sadly, it's too hard to believe this person will be on his best behavior, even for his own wedding.
My spouse hasn't seen this buddy in years and will support me as long as I have a plausible excuse. But it's gotta be bulletproof. HELP!
2006-08-21 15:58:50 · 58 answers · asked by JRL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not to put to fine of a point on it. Say you slept with his friend. Cry a lot while discussing it. Men believe anythin a woman says while crying.
Or
Just let him go. Who says you have to go to the wedding. Besides sometimes men like to go stag to things so they can get with the lose brides maids. It really cramps their style with their wife around!
OR
Suck it up and just go.
2006-08-21 16:05:55 · answer #1 · answered by SpankyTClown 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, your spouse is backing your lie but you have to come up with the lie? Right? OK.....
Well, I just got out of my cousin's wedding and told them that we had my husband's family reunion that same weekend. It was part true--we just didn't leave til the next day. It worked.
Personally, if your spouse hasn't seen him in years, and probably hasn't spoken to him...you don't owe him an explanation. If you don't want to go--I would send a nice gift--(distraction) to his house and on the card simply say--"Sorry we cannot make your wedding....we hope you two have a wonderful day and we will be thinking of you. Best wishes!" If you want add: we need to get together soon and meet your new wife" I wouldn't elaborate any further on the card. If you have a chance meeting in person down the road, say that you already committed to another function---a family function. or just say another wedding.
If you wait for the day of the wedding...leave a message about an hour or two after the wedding starts---and just tell them you got a flat and that you are sorry you missed the wedding.
Good luck!
2006-08-21 16:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by crazymom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. And shame on everyone else for suggesting that you lie to your husband! That would make things so much worse.
Just tell him that you were so offended by his treatment of you at your wedding that even though you harbor no ill will or begrudge him, you have serious doubts of any improvement in this man's behavioral skills and therefore you seriously dread attending this man's wedding.
I feel for this guy's fiancee! Either she is desperate, blind, or this guy has had a maturity implant. Seeing as how he never apologized (I'm assuming) for his unacceptable behavior (and I'm surprised your husband didn't take this up with him at the wedding) I seriously doubt it is the latter.
You have 2 upright choices; be honest or suck it up and hope for the best (while expecting the worst).
2006-08-25 10:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by Cassiopeia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Relative in the hospital--- but that only works if you don't show up cause you can't rsvp future sickness.
2. Your sister is getting married the same day!! What a horrible coincidence! lol...
3. Your husband has a business trip that week.
4. Prior business engagement that you absolutely can not miss.
Come up with any excuse and send a nice card and a present a week before the wedding to their home etc. and you and your husband will be forgiven. Good Luck!
2006-08-21 16:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont harbor any bad feelings anymore, what is the problem with going to the wedding? I'm sure he will be entirely too busy with his wife to seriously bother you. Remember, marriage is about compromise, and I'm sure there have been other gatherings (family, friends, business or otherwise) that your husband would have prefered not to attend, but he did to support his wife. You need to step up to the plate and do the same. It is only a wedding, they do not last forever, and if he hasn't seen his buddy in years, it is probably important to your husband. Suck it up, go to the wedding and avoid the groom! Sending your husband alone will only put him in the awkward position of having to explain your absence, which could backfire on you. Think of the free food you're going to have, and the possiblity that the groom will do something to totally embarrass himself! :-)
2006-08-21 16:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ms Pepsi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your spouse that due to the buddy's rude behavior at your own wedding, you have no desire to put yourself in the position where you have to be nice to him. Also mention that you feel that this person won't even behave at his own wedding. I'd not even try to fabricate an excuse, this sounds like one of those cases where the truth shall set you free. Your spouse should be more committed to your happiness rather than seeing this buddy anyway. Good luck to you!
2006-08-21 16:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need an "excuse" because you already have a reason. The simple fact that you don't want to go is sufficient and no additional explanation on your part is necessary.
Tell your spouse that you are flat-out not going and that is that. Being married doesn't mean that you and your mate are joined at the hip. There's no law that says that you have to attend every event he attends. Let him worry about making an excuse for you.
2006-08-27 01:05:58 · answer #7 · answered by canucklehead1951 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the plan: Attend the wedding, but excuse yourself from the reception due to a previous commitment that cannot be canceled (although your husband could stay). Do not elaborate on the 'commitment'. Everyone 'wins' this way. (The previous commitment would be that you refuse to be placed in a bad situation again.) No lies, no hard feelings, your husband gets to see his buddy again and you get 2 or 3 hours to entertain yourself as you see fit.
2006-08-21 16:14:38 · answer #8 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason that you just explained is perfect. Your feelings should be more important than a college buddy's feelings that he has not seen in years. Tell him he could get very lucky for a weekend with just the 2 of you.
Works for my husband every time, but he is very protective of me & my feelings.
I am sure your husband does not want to chance you being offended again - that is bulletproof reason.
2006-08-21 17:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband hasnt kept in touch with him in a long time then he doesnt really have to go. Your husband should stand by your reasoning and he should stick behind you. You dont have to stoop to that persons level dont go to the wedding ..When you rsvp you put a check in a box stating u will not be attending...you dont need an excuse why your not going...If your husband wants to go let him go. Its a shame his buddy awas a jerk on your wedding day. Good luck
2006-08-21 17:05:29 · answer #10 · answered by ice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋