Is he just trying to be a friend or more than that?

Question

I am going through a divorce. But I have a guy that I have been friends with since Kindergarden. He has been a shoulder to cry on for me, takes me out to eat, bowling and other stuff. When I go over to his house we sit up and talk about anything and everything from politics to our favorite ice cream. He offers foot rubs and back messages. And he tells me I look good, but talks about the perfect person for him, and it is like he is describing me, but when i make a joke and say "well here I am", he says something like "your too perfect for me", and assures me that I am just a friend. What do you think? Does he want to be more than a friend and just not know how to just jump into an already started family?Or does he like me but trying to convince himself he isnt? He even went to the local fair with my 2 daughters and me and took turns pushing the stroller and shared his pizza with them. I am 23 now, so we have been friends for 18 years. I do have feeling for him, but dont want to ruin it.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like he wants to be more than friends. He sounds like a great guy to me. If I were you, I would hold off on starting a relationship with the guy until your divorce is final.

Answer 2

Ruin what?! Girl, you need to have a DTR (Defining the Relationship) talk!

All these questions are ones you should be asking him. What you'd be ruining is a relationship that is neither open nor closed to possibility--a life in limbo--a lack of definition.

He won't get freaked out if you initiate the conversation properly. It would be totally normal/appropriate to bring up the idea of you dating someone else once your divorce is finalized AND whether or not he (the friend) would be hurt. Tell him how much fun you've been having hanging out with him and whether he thinks another guy would be jealous of your relationship, etc.

At the same time, it wouldn't hurt to wait until your divorce is final to bring that stuff up so that any doubts in his mind because of that will be out of he picture.

It does sound like you've got a good possibility there BUT until you COMMUNICATE you won't know what exactly you've got! He could be the next Lance Bass...