is my mom is a disgrace to my family name, or just plain ignorant?

Question

for ever since I can remember my mom has tried to take full control of everyone in our family, and so far me and my grandmother are the only ones who see what she is trying to do. and that is she abuses my dad mentally, and just because he is non violent, and takes more mental abuse than most dads would take, my mom is a pure disgrace. a reason I also believe this, is that my dad owns a private cemetary for my family name. and my dad plannes on being buried there, but my mom would not be able to because she is not acquire the name or relation to my many generations of grandfathers, and you know what she did. she talked my dad into getting cremated along with her when they die, and buried togethor. she did this because of greed, and my father did not want that. and I can give more reasons, but must not. she was the biggest mistake in his life. what do you thik about all this? do you think that when they decease I may be able to renew their arrangements by taking it to court myself.

Answer 1

I don't know about your problems with your mother but if she was the biggest mistake in your dad's life and if he didn't make that mistake, you wouldn't be here complaining about it. So why don't you just be grateful, leave their problems to them (your dad is a grown man..he should know how to deal with it) and live and let live.

Answer 2

Hmm well that's really complicated. Maybe your mom was feeling left out: like being buried in that private cemetery was sort like some exclusive club that she could never get into and it made her jealous, mad, and sad. I don't think she convinced your dad to be cremated because she's greedy, I just think she's trying to get him to be different from everyone else in his family. I don't know any of the legalities of making arrangements for funerals and things when people die, but if you can prove someone is 'mentally incompetent' at the time they put it that way in the will, then you can get it changed.

Answer 3

Welcome to the club.

My mother's just like your mom only the situations are different.

If, you've already proven beyond reasonable doubt, that she is a total B-I-T-C-H...the best you can do is to make your life better. Your father's battle with his wife, your mother, is his battle alone. You can NOT interfere in anyway.

Any contracts and arrangements they legally made and signed in the presence of an attorney is final, permanent and binding. You can't change anything after they die. Even if you did go to court, it will cost a lot and I am telling you....It's a waste of time.

Prepare for yourself now while you have the chance. Take care of your grandmother. God Bless. Peace.

Answer 4

I think u should discuss this w/ ur mom. Or u can take her to a psychatrist if u htink she needs it. Also, remember, she may be a blemish on the family but no family is w/o blemishes. U wouldnt be here in the world if she didnt meet ur father. Try small steps first like asking her to reconsider. Talk about it as a family. Then go from there where u think its needed.

Answer 5

Hey, so what. Your mom and dad are adults, and make their own choices and mistakes. Your grandmother should not involve you in this to put you against your own mother. Just learn from that when you choose a partner and a spouse, so you won't become either controling or too sensitive to anything.

You should worry of where your soul is when you die, not your bones or ashes.

Answer 6

Well, sounds like you have at least one good parent, your Dad. I suggest you focus on that. I had 2 bad ones! The way I dealt with all the hurt they gave me was to recreate a fantasy of two loving parents, a meditation of sorts. It healed a lot...you may wish to do that too. But I kept great distance away from them...and I suggest you keep away from your mom as well in order to create a good life for yourself.

Answer 7

Your dad needs to grow some balls. You would have to find out what the laws are in your state. Anyway, how does she know they will die together, maybe you all will be blessed and she will kick the bucket before the rest of you. It also sad all these people let her control them, says a lot about them too.

Answer 8

Your Father is a GROWN man. If he can stand up to a controlling woman,it's his problem. Not yours. You Mom is not ignorant. She gets what she wants. Did you ever think your Dad might not die before your Mom. He could bury her in "their" plot,and then be buried in his family cemetery....

Answer 9

you are describing your mom as a dominant woman and a strong-willed one. is it wrong, who's to say? would you rather have your mom meek and mild? just plain wallpaper?

however your mom is, she's still your mom.... respect and love her as she is... accept her and love her for whatever she is... she made you who you are and without her, you wouldn't be you. in other words, respect her as a mother, respect her position in life. just like in an office or school or an organization... you respect the position, but has the hand in disrespecting the person him/herself....

take note that whatever is put on the will, it is final... contesting it would mean losing in court automatically.

your mom's character was develop due to factors affecting her. it may have happened when she was younger... at least your mother is a born fighter than just a meek follower....

whatever way you put, respect and love her... she still and always be your mother.

Answer 10

finally she might want to do not comprehend how undesirable that hurts. i'm no longer positive how she would not comprehend, adult adult males are oftentimes very straightforward about that sort of aspect with women persons.i have carried out something that became diverse yet led to an same discomfort once. It became an coincidence and that i felt undesirable. I apologized vast time