Is it inappropriate to takea newborn to a wedding?

Question

I have a wedding to go to. The timing is awful. I will have just giving birth and unless i'm still in the hospital i need to attend this wedding. Would it be unappropriate to take my newnborn?

Answer 1

Talk to the bride and groom. They may not care; however, the child could be disruptive if it's a solemn, formal wedding.

Answer 2

If the church where the wedding will be held has a mother's room, (a glass-fronted room in the balcony, with sound piped in from the church)
then it would be appropriate. If not, you could embarrass both yourself and your husband, and spoil what should be the bride's perfect day. Newborns cry, newborns need to be fed, newborns need to be changed. And they aren't very patient. If you are talking about taking your newborn to the reception, that's a flat 'no'. In fact, if you have just given birth, it would be a pretty callous bride and groom who would expect you do more than make an appearance and then leave. You and your child have some pretty important needs at that point in time.
But since it is important for you to be there, it sounds as though the couple are very close to you. Surely you could talk to them and explain your problem? One neat solution might be to have someone videotape you and your new baby in the hospital, sending them your love and a special greeting from both of you, and that could be played at the reception. In fact, I'd be tempted to stay in hospital for an extra day just to avoid having to put yourself through all the stress of the wedding and the reception.
Best of luck. Hope the birth goes well, and that the bride and groom are gracious. Maybe you could offer to name the baby after one of them?

Answer 3

I would stay home or leave the baby with a sitter for a few hours. Newborns (especially ones who are only a few days old like yours might be) are *incredibly* susceptible to germs, and can get sick in an instant. Having a newborn in a large crowd of people is just asking for trouble, honestly.

I'm guessing if it's a quiet ceremony, he/she will more than likely sleep through it, but in the event that your baby does wake up, a crying newborn would be VERY disruptive to everyone involved...especially the bride and groom.

As for the reception...I'd stay away from that completely. The loud music, boisterous partying, etc. would probably terrify your poor baby, and there's no reason to subject him/her to that.

My sister in law took her 2 week old son to a wedding and I felt so sorry for that poor baby, I wanted to cry. He was terrified during the reception becuase of the DJ/music, but my SIL refused to leave...she had to have a few more drinks. Sad, sad people she and her husband are.

The real question to ask yourself is, WHY do you have to go to this wedding? Nobody has to go to one...even if you're a bridesmaid. Plans can change, and honestly...if this is the case...who ever asked you to stand up in her wedding should have known that your baby was due then. Really, you're going to be so exhausted after giving birth and having a newborn to tend to 24 hours a day, I seriously doubt you'll even want to go. And that's for a regular vaginal delivery. If you have a c-section, forget it...

Answer 4

I would absolutely take my child with me. People have to understand that a new mother and a newborn are a team....they are inseperable. Get a sling and wear the baby to the wedding. You'll be able to care for and nurse the baby easily and no one will even notice that there is a baby there! I've taken mine to all kinds of things like weddings and funerals when they were very young like that with no problems at all.

If the bride and groom don't understand, give them your condolences. Your baby will obviously need you more. You may not even feel up to a big social outing depending on how close to the birth the wedding falls!

Answer 5

It's not inappropriate. My daughter was less than a month old when I took her to a cousin's wedding. She was not a bother to them. Actually one of the brides favorite picture is her dancing with my daughter. There both in white dresses and my lil girl has her head laying on the brides shoulder and the bride is looking over her shoulder at my lil girl. The most precious picture you could see. Take your child, there not a bother at that age.

Answer 6

Just ask the bride or groom. Unless the invite specifically said no children, I can't see how it would be a big deal, especially since a newborn won't even be taking up a seat, eating food, or doing anything other than sleeping.

I'm sure the bride or groom knows of your current condition, and can't expect you to leave a days old newborn at home!

Answer 7

Of course it's fine - depending on the venue.

Newborns are very very quiet, even when crying. Just be sure you have an outfit that will accomodate nursing - that will always keep your baby happy.

The other caveat is you never want to distract attention from the bridal couple, and a newborn certainly could.

Answer 8

I would check with the bride and groom. The quick answer is no. Babies can not control the noises that they make and those noises can cause a major disruption to the couple. Plus if th baby is a new born there will be tons of people there with different kinds of yucky germs.

Answer 9

I can think of 2 reasons not to take your newborn - 1) they are so susceptible to colds - putting him/her around so many people could cause illness - and 2) would it really be fair to the bride to bring your newborn to the wedding? Meaning - would it take away from the bride? She should be center of attention on her special day.

Nothing from official etiquette, just my thoughts.

Answer 10

Nope. My oldest sister got married when my oldest daughter was 8 weeks old. My middle sister got married when my youngest daughter was 8 weeks old, also.

When kids are that tiny, they don't do a lot. Just be respectful. Sit in the back of the church and leave right away when your baby starts crying.