do you think you can make me laugh?

Question

make me laugh, i'll give you 10 pts. 2pts for trying.

Answer 1

3 friends go on a ski trip, but they all have to share the same bed, theres one on the right, middle and left, in the middle of the night the one in the right wakes up and says i dreamed that i was getting a hand job, the one in the left says me 2, the one in the middle says haha thats funny i dreamed that i was skiing

Answer 2

Ok This is a woman that walks into a club. She is coming alone so she is looking for a guy to talk with, she looks around and around but she doesnt like anyone, she finally looks at a guy that she likes so she goes where he is and asks him what hes doing.
The guy answers her that he is drinking magic beer, the girl listens to this and she thinks he is an idiot so she continues looking for a guy. Finally she just realizes the best looking guy in the club is the idiot so she comes back with this guy and asks him again what he is doing and he answers that he is drinking magic beer. The girl knowing that this is the best that she found decides to continue the conversation and she asks him why he says that, so the guy answers let me show you, and he drinks some beer he gets close to a window he jumps through it and he flies around the club ( this is second floor club ) and he gets in through the window again. The girl really gets impressed and asks him to do it again, so the guy drinks some beer again and the does the same thing he did before. The girl is really impressed and he asks the guy if she could drink some of his beer . The guy says of course and the girl drinks some of his beer, after doing this the girl jumps through the window and she falls, hits the floor, and dies. After seeing this a waiter comes next to the idiot
and says geez you can really be an asshole when you get drunk Superman.

Answer 3

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 4

So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?"
"Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that would help."

---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you told me with the potato, but it doesn't help."

"No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front."
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this is a good one too...

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK."
Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, OK."

Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He says to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage."

Answer 5

So a redneck man gets married. He and his new bride go on their honeymoon to, where else, his family's hunting cabin.
They get settled and go to the bedroom. Things start progressing and the wife says, "Honey, I'm a little scared. I've never been with a man before." He said, "What?" And she repeats, "I have never been with a man before, this will be my first time. I'm a little nervous."
"You mean I'll be your first?" he says. She replies, "That's what I'm trying to tell you."
He gets up, walks to the closet, gets a rifle and shoots her.
He goes to the phone and he calls his father and tells him everything. He asks his father, "Dad, did I do the right thing?"
His Dad says, "Of course, son. If she wasn't good enough for her family, She isn't good enough for ours."

I know, groan, but it's all I could think of right now. Hope you at least smile.

Answer 6

Three nuns all die at the same time and go to Heaven. St Peter is there at the Pearly Gates to usher them in. However, he says to them, "I must ask all of you a question, before I let you in." Turning to the first nun, he asks, "What was the first thing that Christ said to his disciples?"
The nun thought a moment, and said, "Love one another."
St Peter smiled, the angels sang, and the trumpets sounded -- the nun went into Heaven.
St Peter asked the second nun, "What was the first thing that Moses said to the Pharoah?" "Oh, that's easy -- 'let my people go'!" So, the angels sang, and the trumpets sounded, and in she went...
He turned to the last nun, and asked, "And, what was the first thing that Eve said to Adam?"
The nun thought and thought. "Oh, that's a hard one!"
And the angels sang, and the trumpets sounded......

Answer 7

A hobbit a munchkin and an oompa-loompa walk into a bar. "Bartender, we'd like some beers!" The bartender looks around, wild eyed and says "Begorrah, I'm hearing things!"

Answer 8

Sorry, I just got through posting my good ones.

Answer 9

I got a phone call today saying my grandpa died. It really tore me up. I saw my brother later on and he told me that his grandpa died too. I told him that was just plain terrible. we exchanged information on when the funeral was gonna be and all. I want to go to his grandpa funeral and he wants to go to my grandpas funeral. but the weird thing about it is.. it is at the same time. same place. everything is all the same now how am I gonna go.......

Answer 10

Customer says to his waiter, "this coffee tastes like mud!"

And the waiter says, " It should, it was ground this morning."