how do i tell my boyfriend that i was raped!?

Question

im scared to tell him!

Answer 1

If you were raped a long time ago and want to tell your boyfriend then just sit down somewhere together privately and tell him that you have something very important to share with him.

If you were raped recently, you should be talking with a counselor or therapist before discussing it with the boyfriend. If all that has been already done, then do the same as I said in the first paragraph.

Don't be scared or afraid. It is a fact of your life now. It isn't going to go away. It's part of your life that you will need to share with him.'

Answer 2

Sorry, people tend to freak out about the word Rape. Looks like you're not getting what you're asking for much.

After you tell the authorities and go get counselling, you do need to tell him. You should definately do it alone as it will be hard for him to process you won't want any distractions. It may be easier for him as well as for you if you're holding hands or otherwise intimate when you talk. Tell him that you need to tell him something and it's very difficult for you so ask him to please just listen until you're done. You'll want to tell him in very simple worlds that you were raped, then relate to him as best as you can how it happened, explain to him why you haven't told him until now, then give him a chance to talk. He's going to be angry but not at you. This sort of thing makes a man feel very helpless and afraid. Offer to give him some time to work it out if he needs it. Reassure him that you still love him and that you need him more than ever.

Answer 3

How long ago did this happen to you? And did you tell anyone? Did you call the police and have a rape kit done? But besides that, because that has really nothing to do with your question, I think you need to find the words within yourself how to tell him. You have already decided that you will, but you're not sure how. I think that just sitting with him and letting him know is the only way. Don't rehearse it, but I'm sure that you think about that horrible event everyday of your life. And it would probably feel like a relief, a bit, to get it off your chest.

I wish you luck and I really hope that you get to the police and have that animal punished for what he did!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

First, have you told anyone else and taken legal action to have that jerk arrested
Second, there is NO hurry. It is a dramatic event and you should take things slowly. If your not ready, then dont tell him yet. Tell him on your terms. Ive heard of women that didnt even tell their boyfriends until they got married.
Third, if you want to tell him dont be afraid if he becomes upset. IT is Not you! He loves you a lot and will feel upset that this has happened to you. This is normal so dont be afraid. He does not blaim you but will probably want to kill that jerk. It was not your fault and this shouldnt happen to anyone. Im so sorry you had to go through this. I hope it works out.
Finally, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Its ok to get therapy. It doesnt mean anything is wrong with you, but it is good for you to hear from other people in your position, to learn how to deal with things like this, and to be able to move on. Feel better and God bless

Answer 5

i don't comprehend how previous you're yet i would not tell a boyfriend appropriate to the rape. while you're youthful, undergo in thoughts that boys could be greater immature than ladies. i don't have self belief he will have the adulthood to grant you any suggestion, without understanding he might make you experience worse than you already might desire to experience. you will possibly desire to consult from somebody approximately what occurred. There are interior of reach rape counseling centers in each city of the U.S. look on your telephone e book, frequently in the pages located in the front of the e book. you may call anonymously, good success.

Answer 6

If you two have been in a long and trusting relationship for a while, you can open up to him.
Approach him at the right time, and say: (bf's name: i have something to tell you. Awhile ago, someone raped me... tell him about the situation.
Being the loving, caring man that he is, he will understand and probably embrace you. Tell him that you have been scarred, but have overcome the trauma.

I'm sorry about that. (RAPISTS ARE IDIOTS WHO BELONG IN JAIL!!!)
Good luck!

Answer 7

Tell him that a friend of your was raped, telling him the whole story (or what ever you want to tell him about it) and after listening to the whole story, tell him that friend was really you.

This worked with family members. I had to deal with this and other situations before.

By telling him it was a friend also disassociates you from the rape making it easier for you to tell him. By telling him it was a friend also makes it easier for him to understand and he will be calm trough of the explanation of the rape. By writing him a letter or blurting it out will only freak him out and he will not be calm and will have trouble listening to anything else said. The emotions on your part as well as his would be too high also.

Something like this...
"I want to talk about something that is bothering me lately....I had a close friend who was raped and it has really been bothering me...........This is what happened..........How would it make you feel if that happend to me?...... (his response).......Well that friend is really me.........I was the one who was raped"----------

You already asked him how he feel if it happened to you...... so you know already how he will react----------he probably will want to kill the guy...........they always do

If he wants to know who it is at the begining tell him you tell him later on........sometimes they figure it out.............sometimes they don't

The way I told my husband about my daughter was that she had skipped school today, so she could go to plan parent hood to get a pregancy test...........because........

Answer 8

Being raped is not your fault. Tell him what happened and that it is important to you that he knows. If he can't accept this, than he doesnt truly care about you. Most likely he will be completely calm about it. And if he's not just give him a little time to soak it up.

Answer 9

Call a rape crisis hot line they can tell you what steps to take in filing a police report and how to get counseling for yourslf and how to deal with your boyfriend.

Answer 10

Shouldn't you worry about telling the cops first? And why should you be scared of telling your boyfriend anything? What are you afraid he's going to do to you?