need help with daughter?

Question

my daughter is 3 and i cant get her in her own bed. Its my fault i know . I take her in bed with me . Ive tried to put her in her room but she screams so loud and almost pukes i dont want my neighbors to hear her cry. But at the same time i need her to go there what should i do i feel so bad

Answer 1

They are only little once. Enjoy it. If it is causing sleep issues, my wife and I can relate. I put mine in her bed when she falls asleep. Then I wake up and she has manuevered her way back in. I have learned after three girls that they decide when they are ready to be big girls.

Answer 2

I had the exact same situation. It is hard to let them scream and cry. I couldn't take all the crying because I needed sleep to be able to function at work the next day and it made me feel bad for my daughter. Often it was more worth it to me to let her sleep with me so I could get a good nights sleep.

When I decided I wanted to try and move her into her own room I bought a comforter set that my daughter liked and tried to get her excited about being a big girl and having her own room. I started by having her take naps in there and told her how proud I was that she slept in her own big girl bed.

Then I picked a long weekend and was ready for the crying and it actually turned out great! I told her that if she needed me I would leave my door open and she could call me and I would come into her room. I also told her that if she woke up and the sun was up she could come get in bed with me and her dad. She started out waking up a couple times a night and I would go in and talk to her and reassure her that everything was ok and she would go back to sleep.

They are only little once, enjoy every second. She just might need extra time to feel secure. I agree with the person from Europe, I think sometimes we try to push our kids away when they need us most. Just help her to feel secure and she will become independent in her own time. My daughter was 3 years 5 months when she started sleeping in her own bed.

Answer 3

You are correct that alot of the blame can be laid at your guilty feet. Your daughter is 3 and is already old enough to manipulate you to get what she wants encouraged by your own actions. It will be harder now than if you had begin at least a year ago, but the situation is far from hopeless. One way to help this process is to make her bed more desirable than yours, i.e. a stuffed animal she likes next to the bed or something that plays soothing music next to her bed. You can get baby music CDs at most music stores such as Best Buy or stores like Target & Walmart also have a surprisingly big section of music to choose from. You will have some hellish nights to look forward to, but think of how good you'll feel & sleep in the future if you don't put a stop to her behavior or your own. Another thing to give a child before they go to bed is warm milk or tea with honey to help them become drowsy. Something my mom always did for me was to tire me out with an activity either indoors or outdoors (depending on your situation). I loved to play in the sandbox outside and she would let me play for 10 minutes and then give me a warm bath before I went to bed. The warm bath also helped make me sleepy. After you go through some or all of the above suggestions, if she has any backbone, the 3 year old is going to have a contest of wills with you at least for one night & maybe more. If you allow her to win now, she will walk all over you probably for years to come, and I pity the child for her mother that lacks a backbone. The daughter may scream and you'll need to check her to make sure all is well, but then reinforce to her your decision. Some people use voice inflection or a slight tap on the wrist, but whatever you choose will be fine. The neighbors would rather hear the child now, then have to hear you and the child screaming when she is a teenager. It's your choice. You are the parent. Act like one. Good luck.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, she has to cry it out. My son had a similar problem (we never let him sleep in our bed, but we got him into a bad habit of always falling asleep in our arms as a baby...a big no no). We finally decided it was time for him to fall asleep on his own because we were getting absolutely no sleep. He would scream and cry, but we did not go into his room. After some time, he finally fell asleep. Now, it did take a while to get him into this new habit, but it was well worth it. He now sleeps in his own bed with no problems. He also does not get up in the middle of the night the way he used to.

I know it is hard to leave your baby crying and screaming, but you have to do it if you want her to sleep on her own. Do not take her into your bed anymore..that is the worst habbit to break! I know that I won't make the same mistake with my second child.

Be strong! Good luck!

Answer 5

First of all it's nice that you know right off where you went wrong in knowing it's part of your fault, because you had her in your own bed. Some people say I don't know what I did wrong!

Once she falls asleep in your bed move her to her room. If she does startle and wakes up just tell her that you are there and it's ok. She will eventually falls asleep.

Give her a favorite blanket/bear/ETC. You can play her some music while she falls asleep.

Another good thing to do is have her go to her own bed and stay with her, while the music is playing, and tell her that you are right here and it's ok.

It will be hard for awhile but she will get use to it.

Answer 6

Start out by putting her to bed in her room with you in there, spend the night on the floor if you have to.

Keep doing this, but distance yourself further from her bed every night, and shorten the time you are in there. When you stop spending the night, and start leaving her in there, leave before she falls asleep. This will lessen the chance of her waking up scared if you are no longer in her room.

They did this in an abreviated manner on one of those Nanny shows, and it worked.

If you give in, and let her into your room to sleep, then she's going to keep going in there, knowing she'll get her own way.

You need to make certain she's comfortable in her room.

Answer 7

My StepSister Does The Same thing with her dad. It's Really hard for him to make her stay in her own bed, too. Have you tryed staying with her in her room untill she falls asleep? If not, try that. If that doesn't work, read her a book or two. If that doesnt work, Try to talk to her about it, Tell her something like, " I'm right down the hall, you can leave your door open, Don't worry."

If none of that works, I promise she'll grow out of it.

Answer 8

Sleep on the sofa for a week and see where she sleeps. She might like her own room.

If she goes to her room fine. If she goes to your room, then you sleep on her bed. Each night see to it that you and she are sleeping apart. After a week, begin to move her to her room after she's asleep. Soon she will be waking up in there every day and she will learn to like her own room. A little milk and cookies in her room shared with you would also make her room a nice place to be to her.

Good luck!

Answer 9

OMG! They are only babies once I suggest get a bigger bed and let them sleep with you. I did with both of my kids and if we wanted our private time hey ya have to get them asleep no matter were they sleep before you can have private time and by letting them sleep with us heck going to sleep was nothing. Benefits ohhhhhh so many all the hugs and kisses ya can give them while asleep and snuggle. As they get older they will finally move out of yer bed. Then before you know it they have graduated high school. But... no matter what I do believe that is why my kids and I are as close as we are to this day and they are in there 20's. Love them while you can they grow up too fast!!

Answer 10

You are going to have to let her cry it out. It will take more than one night to do this, possibly up to a week. I put a baby gate in front of my daughter's bedroom door so she couldn't leave her room. After crying and sleeping in front of the gate for a week , she decided her bed was more comfortable.