How can I get my 3 1/2 year old boy to sleep in his own room? I've tried everything pls give me something new.

Question

My boy has never slept a whole night, not even sleeping in our bed. He only will sleep about 2 hrs alone in his room and after he will start crying or just jump into our bed. I have let him cry, gotten in his bed while he falls asleep, read him books, left a light, even put a mattress by our bed and he still won't sleep alone or the whole night. He was breast fed for 2 years, some say all breast fed babies do this, but I can't beleive till their almost 4????

Answer 1

maybe if you stop shoving religious practices down his throat, he'll be able to sleep without fear of a vengeful god.

Answer 2

It sounds like you've tried a lot of good things. Maybe try putting him back in his bed each time he comes in your room. I know it will cut into your sleep but try to do it without getting frustrated. That will only distress him further. You might tell him if he sleeps all night in his bed you will take him to a favorite place to eat the next day or to the playground. (be sure to hold up your part of the bargain). If he doesnt sleep in his bed that night dont punish him but dont take him anyplace special either. Then try it again the next night with the same promise. when he finally does sleep in his room do what you promised. Then tell him after he sleeps in his room for 2-3 nights in a row you will take him to a movie or rent his favorite video, or something like that. THen increase the time to a week, 2 weeks, a month, 6 mos....you get the picture. After a while you wont have to reward because he will be used to sleeping alone. Some people will think this is spoiling a child but the whole purpose of having kids is to teach them with love not scare them into something. Its not like he is being bad. Another little suggestion...if you can afford to do this..take him to the store and let him pick out a bedspread and sheets that he likes and maybe that will help him feel more comfortable in his room. Good Luck.

Answer 3

My son wasn't breast fed at all and still sleeps in my bed it's nothing to do with breast feeding.
If I sneak my son into his room or even a bed in my room he screams and cries till he throws up.
I've run out of ideas too I tried doing it little by little like sleeping in his bed with him then moving further away but it didn't work.
I can't leave him to scream like people say either because I tried that for 12 days with no sign of him stopping and my neighbours complained.
I don't know what the solution is for me it's probably a house that isn't a mid terrace lol

Answer 4

Consistancy. Don't worry about the breastfeeding thing, that's over and done with. He's waking up at night because it's habit.
Just let him cry, and make him stay in his room. My cousin turned the door knob around and locked it from the outside. Her two boys, 2 and 4, would eventually fall asleep by the door. After several nights of CONSISTENTLY doing this, they eventually would fall asleep in their own beds.
There's no reason for him to be waking up. His bladder is large enough, he doesn't need to eat or drink, and he's too big for mommy's reassurance. If he wakes up, ignore him. He will go back to sleep, and he will sleep through the night.
Sounds like you are really catering to him, and he's in charge. You've got to cut that out if you are going to raise a respectful son.
Firmly make him stay in his bedroom from the time it's time for bed, until it's time to wake up in the morning. CONSISTENCY. Don't give in. Make sure you give him all kinds of praise and love in the morning after he has been in his room the whole night. Give positive reinforcement, but don't punish him for crying.

Answer 5

when its bed time, tell your son that now he has to sleep in his own room. and when he starts questioning or whining just tell him that he's a "big boy" now and big boys sleep in their own bed. Try to work him and get him tired out during the day. And see if skipping a nap will help him sleep through the whole night.
and before bed time give, him some warm milk with honey in it. It should help. If he starts crying do not go to him. ignore it. and if he gets out just put him back in. At the actual bedtime heres what you do

1. put him in bed.
2. read him books.
3. dim the lights and give him the warm milk.
4. go outside of his room and pull a chair out infront of his room but not inside his room. and just read a magazine or something. and let him know you're just outside of his room.
5. when he is somewhat quiet shut his door but only leaving a inch.

it should help you and do this every night.

Answer 6

My child still sleeps in our room--I have talked to several parents who have raised their children this way and they have all wanted to sleep in their own rooms somewhere between 6-8 years old.

My friend however uses a reward system and has a treasure box--when the child earns enough points they can pick out something. When it is a biggie like staying in bed all night she will let them have instant gratification with a prize in the morning.

Rewards work for some children.

Keep in mind that children who co sleep are more independent and closer to their family unit than those children forced to sleep by themselves.

Answer 7

According to Nanny 911, make his room comfortable for him...see if there is something he wants to change or improve. Then be consistent with his bedtime and explain to him that it is bed time and he has to go to sleep in his own bed. If he gets up, put him back...do this all night if you have to...he will eventually get tired and stay in there...but you can't give up because you get tired! The key is to show him that YOU are in charge and he must stay in his bed...so DON'T GIVE UP...keep putting him back!! It will only last a few nights if that....then you will finally get some peace and quiet for yourself...keep that thought in mind during the rough nights! Good luck!

Answer 8

My little boys do. My baby is almost 4 (in one week) and he still usually gets in bed before morning. My oldest stopped when I told him he had to sleep in his own bed 3 months before he could go to church camp (just before he turned 7). My middle boy, on the other hand sleeps well by himself. (All were breast fed, just not nearly as long as yours). I notice that when my baby wears footy pjs he seems to sleep better, maybe he feels cozy? I ordered some cotton ones from Land's end, and hope that will keep him out of my bed! My husband loves for them to sleep with us, but they don't tend to keep him awake, I don't know why they prefer to kick ME! My oldest is 15 now, and I can tell you, they really grow up fast, so I have chosen not to stress about it too much. I gave up trying to put them back to bed when I discovered I was getting even less sleep and was cranky the next day. If it gets too bad, I just get in their bed and let them and their dad cozy up and sleep away!

Answer 9

Until recently, my husband and I were having the very same issue with our 4-year-old. After discussing with our pediatrician (apparently this is a common problem!), and following her advice for a few weeks, we finally succeeded in having our son sleep in his own bed throughout the night, without tears. Here is what we did:
- Gently talked to our son about the issue, explaining that everyone rests better sleeping in their own bed. Then explained the following "incentive program":
- I made a chart/calendar, and purchased my son's choice of stickers.
- In the morning, he was allowed to place one sticker on the chart if he feel asleep on his own, and a 2nd sticker if he slept in his own bed all night.
- After he used up all his stickers on his calendar, we went to a toy store together, and he was allowed to choose an inexpensive toy.

It worked like a charm. He was very motivated by getting to use his stickers, and was anxious to use them up so he could get his toy. We tried to stay really positive, and also reassured him that he was very, very, safe in his room alone. When does wake up in the night and feels frightened, I have a very large stuffed animal that I place in bed next to him, so he feels a little less lonesome.

Hope that helps!

Answer 10

Ask his doctor to check out sleep apnea which might wake him up. Also , you have to train yourself before you train him...do not jump from one idea to the next. If you decide to try ferberizing (worked for me) you must stick to it for a long time before giving up. If you only do it a couple of times, you are only confusing him that is what makes the crying cruel...not making it lead to a resolution. I ferberized both my kids, I am sure it is going to be stressful with a 4 year old, but it does work eventually. Keep reassuring him you love him but you expect him to sleep in his own room and if he wakes up, he must not cry out for you. he could read or do a puzzle, but no mommy! I would do this after checking with doctor.

Answer 11

well, i wasn't breastfed, and when i was young i dodn't do it, but when i was 9-11 i was just like that, my sister and i were 10 years apart, and had shared a room for 10 years, then all of a sudden she moved out and went to college , it ws really hard on me. the liught thing seemed to help but not work, my parents put a tv in my room, and that is what seeemed to help, i still even tho i am older get scared in the night , so i sleep with my cell phone, you jus need to keep putting him back in bed, sit there in the floor not in the bed, and dont' make eyue contact, for some kids the tv will be worse, cause they will watch it instead you will just need to seee what works for your child! goodluck!!!