My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 yrs, he has an 11yr. old son, who has very little respect for adults, and anyone else. i grew up in a strict home and so i'm a little strict, my boyfriend is very passive and a sucker when it comes to making the child do any chores, or learn any kind of responsibility, or the value of a $$. it's difficult for me to see and understand the way
my borfriend deals with things, and the way he sets an example for his son, but now we're having a baby of our own so it's become an even bigger concern for me.
2006-08-21 13:05:35 · 7 answers · asked by shaolan's girl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 yrs, he has an 11yr. old son, who has very little respect for adults, and anyone else. i grew up in a strict home and so i'm a little strict, my boyfriend is very passive and a sucker when it comes to making the child do any chores, or learn any kind of responsibility, or the value of a $$. it's difficult for me to see and understand the way
my borfriend deals with things, and the way he sets an example for his son, but now we're having a baby of our own, and what conserns me is the fact that his son lives with us therefore his behavior, I feel needs to be dealt with now, and in no way am I at all trying to be this little boys mother, or take her place, that's not my intent at all, however since he does reside in our home I do demand a certain level of respect, and consideration. Asking the child to clean his room, giving him daily chores, is not asking too much. I am trying to teach him responsibility & the value of a dollar. ??
2006-08-22 21:50:27 · update #1
Get it straight now before the baby is born.
Parents that don't support each other over the discipline or lack of will only cause separation between the parents.
Sounds like your boyfriend isn't much of a father, he certainly doesn't have his son as a priority in his life. It's much easier to give in than it is to teach a child what's important.
He needs to understand that both of you will be raising this child, preparing the child to grow into a responsible adult and start with his 11 year old son.
2006-08-21 16:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by trusport 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's see, you have seen that your boyfriend is very passive and a sucker when it comest to his 11 year old and yet you decided to make a baby with this guy anyway...Yeah it's going to be a REALLY big concern in a few years when your kid starts telling you "Well Daddy said yes".
2006-08-22 22:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His son is for him to discipline. Yours is for both of you too. You will have a bigger say in this child. Try getting him to go to a parenting course for "the baby" and hopefully it will rub off in dealing with the 11 year old
2006-08-21 22:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The end result in being a parent is to raise a child that can take of himself/herself. You have to teach them or they will be burden to you and society. Yea somtimes it would be easier if you did it yourself but how are they going to learn to be reponsible?
You don't have to be their best friend but you have to be their parent.
Take another look at your boyfriend from this point of view. Is he responsible, does he understand the value of $$, does HE respect you ?
Talk to your BF and let him know he isn't doing his son any favors by letting things slide or letting his son disrespect you.
Take a stand about how your child will be raised... now...
2006-08-21 18:47:47 · answer #4 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not his mother if the child live with you it would be differ.
set the rules and tell him you expect his son to follows then and when the new baby comes you will have to have rules as the same for both of them
2006-08-21 14:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by weeksfamilyof4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your boyfriend before this baby is born and agree on a parenting style that you will practice together. It needs to be used on both children. Tell him your concerns, communication is the key.
2006-08-21 13:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Gayle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, this kid is going to be an older brother to your new baby, so he is going to be an example. You have to do something about it now. Don't come on too strong, you don't want this kid to hate you. But maybe be semi strict with him. If it doesn't work, talk to him about the new baby and how he is going to be a big brother.
2006-08-21 14:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋