why does love hurt?

Answer 1

It hurts when you give your best and you want it to work out. If you discover that somebody you trust and love is not felling the same as you, it hurts. It mostly happens when you fall in love for the very first time but also happens when you really think about the future and promises are in between. It hurts because your heart was full of love and trust and somebody didn't appreciate what you gave him.

Answer 2

Love hurts because it is part of life and it helps you learn about it.
If you love someone and the next thing you knew, The person doesn't like you any more. Your heart is broken. But that is also means that the person is not the one for you yet. So you should wait and see if you can find a person who wants to be with you. Not for anything else. You will find out what is dear to you and what is not needed in your life.

Answer 3

Because one of you hasn't communicated something to the other; because one of you is expecting something that the other isn't delivering; or because one of you has an intention that the other isn't fulfilling on.

Note that the last two very frequently imply the first.

Pretty near every reason love hurts will fall into one of those three conditions if you think it through to the underlying cause. He's cheating on you? It hurts because you expected him to be faithful. She isn't interested in sex any more? It hurts because your intention was to have an ongoing, fulfilling sex life. He won't commit to you? Most likely an expectation not getting fulfilled, but it could also be an intention that's being stopped in some way.

(To clarify -- an expectation is something you assume you're going to HAVE, and love hurts when that isn't delivered to you; an intention is something that you assume you're going to DO, and love hurts when you don't get to accomplish it. Some things are a little bit of both -- when love hurts because of something sexual, it's usually a little bit of both.)

The way to make love STOP hurting is to figure out which of those conditions applies, then ask what you can be responsible for to help clean it up. NOT what the other person can be responsible for -- it's up to you. Yes, even if it's the other person's fault. Pointing out where somebody else screwed up is not going to make it stop hurting. (Well, it will eventually stop hurting, after they leave, but it'll take longer.)

So... when love hurts, is there something you're not telling your beloved about what you want from them or from the relationship? Are you expecting something that your beloved isn't delivering (and is it something you've told him/her, or is it something you think he/she ought to just know)? Do/did you have plans that your beloved isn't fulfilling on (and again, are these plans that he/she knew about)?

Once you've identified what's causing the trouble, it's time for some soul-searching. Again, blaming the other person is just going to make it worse, even if they're clearly at fault. What there is to do is figure out how to clear up the problem -- whether it's to apologize, to forgive, or to break up. Once you've done that, you have to look in your heart and decide what there is about this particular issue that you can be responsible for in the future. Maybe it's communicating your expectations and your intentions more clearly. Maybe it's making sure that you understand your beloved's expectations and intentions -- because maybe YOU are the one who is leaving your partner unfulfilled or blocked from something they want.

The thing is, love will NEVER stop hurting. I've been married long enough that all the couples in my wedding pictures are either dead (our grandparents) or divorced (our parents); I think we have the best relationship of anybody we know, and we STILL hurt each other from time to time. So while good communication can prevent a lot of hurt, you still have to know how to get out of it when you DO hurt each other.

Oh, and one more thing? Don't hold it against each other when you clear it up. Some hurts take longer to get over than others, but if you still hold whatever went wrong against each other, it's not cleared up.

Answer 4

I'll tell you this much that love doesn't hurt. There's only one kind of love and it definitely doesn't hurt. Infatuation hurts but love doesn't. If you've truly ever been in love you'll know it's the best thing. Love is so divine... Don't think to yourself, "Holy Fromage!" It's realy true....

Answer 5

I cannot answer this question and I am sorry but I have the same problem so if you would like to talk about it send me an email (subject: why does love hurt) that way i will reply.

Answer 6

love is an emotion word and whenever emotions are involved as a human you will be affected both good and bad. when its good love it feels really really good and vice versa. so you have to take the good with the bad. and remember whatever don't kill you makes you stronger. Additionally, it does not have to hurt; have you ever heard of mind over matter. basically be strong and beat the feeling, by moving forward with your life and doing what's necessary to make your world a better one...

Answer 7

Studies show women have more nerves than men, which could indicate why women get hurt more in relationships. Studies also show that the place where we feel emotional pain in our brains is also the same place where we feel physical pain, which could be a link.

Answer 8

It shouldn't if it is true love then it shouldn't hurt

Answer 9

love shouldn't hurt if it is true love, but in any relationship will have its ups and downs. No matter if it is true love or not.

Answer 10

It shouldn't hurt.