Do you have any words of wisdom to share with a confused 19 year old?

Question

I'm kinda seeing this guy. I really like him, we have a lot of 'fun' together, (read between the lines there...)

The problem is, I really wish we were official. I hate hiding the fact that we are... well... yeah... cause it makes me feel like we are doing something wrong. We are both single, I'm only 4 years younger than him, and we get on really well, as friends as well as 'friends'. I have tried to broach the subject, but I can't find the words to outright ask him why he's not my boyfriend, without making it sound jokey. More than that, it doesn't feel right to ask. Half of me wants to just relax and enjoy his company and companionship, but the other half wants to be able to be certain that we are together, rather than just hoping he feels like I do. I really would like to be able to kiss him when I get home from work, rather than have to wait till we are alone.
It's not that I'm scared of losing him, I;m just scared of never having him to begin with...

Erm, he really doesn't have another girl.

And no, I'm not planning on showing him this question. This is me trying to figure out whats going on in my head by asking total strangers... I tend to get more sense that way lol!

Answer 1

Just **** his brains out and enjoy the moment stop worying, bf ---gf just labels.

Answer 2

I really don't like the sound of this. Forget what he is like when the two of you are alone, there is just no good reason for you to have to hide the fact that you are having a fling.
Its a power trip. Sorry, but there it is. He gets to have you dancing to his tune, and its a way of training a person. All the excuses for doing it are crap.
He has a choice; continue as long as you'll stand it, finish it (and have you look like a nut if you complain or get upset since no-one knows) or make it official - in which case he has a compliant girlfriend.
If you feel nervous asking for anything for yourself, or talking about how you feel, then you are just f*ck buddies. Thats all. And if you have to hide it then you're not even that. You're the bit on the side that he has no responsibility for or comittment to. He is keeping you at arms length.
Break it off now. Say it was fun, but its over. Refuse to discuss it any further with him. Not as a way of getting him to 'reveal his true feelings', because theres nothing stopping him doing that now.
You really are worth more than this.

Answer 3

From what you say, it sounds like he is simply not ready for a relationship, perhaps he lacks confidence and the maturity to react to you in the way that you want. That could come with time perhaps but are you prepared to wait. If you are really stuck on this guy, then you need to take the bull by the horns and simply tell him how you feel and that you yearn for the 'togetherness' rather than just hanging out together. He may find that difficult to talk about ... he may be pleased that you have asked ... you will just have to see. But, if he does suffer lack of confidence ( or lack of commitment ) you will just have to force the issue and see what happens ... you may be surprised! Nothing unusual here though, just experience building for both of you. And if he fails to respond, then at least you will know that you never had him in the first place ..... but then I think you know that, don't you?

Answer 4

listed right here are my correct TEN: 10. Spit in a unmarried hand. desire in the different. See which on fills up first. 9. at the same time as one door closes, yet another continuously opens. yet, that would not advise you're gonna like what's in the back of door No. 2 any more desirable helpful. 8. at the same time as existence gives you lemons, take them decrease back to WalMart and be conscious in case you may replace them for a steak ...or pudding. 7. there is more desirable than one thanks to pores and skin a cat, even with the undeniable fact that the cat gained't sit down nevertheless for any of them. 6. Love will be blind, yet all adult adult males nevertheless seem. 5. A chicken in the hand is fairly worth 2 in the bush. it is also fairly worth more desirable than the 40 you've loaned on your brother-in-regulation. 4. by no skill positioned off till day after today what you may do at present ...except you would possibly want to get arrested for it. 3. each darkish cloud has a silver lining ...it really is the position the lightening comes from. 2. those who comprehend pastime, earn it. those who do not comprehend pastime, pay it. a million. If someone provides you with something with "no strings connected" ...they're hiding the strings.

Answer 5

if nothing else you need to ask him if you are exclusive you need to know if he is seeing any one else for your own safety and peace of mind the fact he is hiding you is not a good sign #### buddies can work if you both know the score and are honest and let each other know thats all it is but it sounds like you want more than that i would suggest biting the bullet and just asking him as i dont think he is gonna give you what you want and at least you will know whats on offer to make an informed decision you are worth more than being some guys sordid little secret go find a real man that will be proud to have you by his side for all the world to see

Answer 6

Let's be real. If this guy wanted you for his girl friend would not he have already asked YOU! If he is getting what he wants while having in your so-called fun together game why should he want to make anything official. Oh yea, if he is playing you, he could be playing someone else also. Think about it.

Answer 7

Why would he make you his girlfirend when he is having sex with you as often as he wants without commitment or investment? And why are you having to hide the fact that you are *******? (Which, by the way is what grown ups like to call it) Hiding means he has a girlfirend already and doesn't want you blowing up his spot. Looks like you're side meat, honey. You might want to look into that.

Answer 8

...Bet! you' re going to show this to him too.

you made the choice to volunteer your body (sex), presence because you are needy and does not understand the capacity of friendships. He sees you as his little naive girl who wouldn't think twice about jumping off a building for him, that's if you grow up. It seems he got you trained and well behaved - with that in mind, why would he commit to a yes girl. Besides, ur his back up if he fails at his real dates.
Being in love goes without saying, sunshine.
ask? try looking at his eyes.

Answer 9

Hey I make it short and painless. If this guy doesn't like you enough to make it official he isn't worth it. The guy shouldn't be scared of making you the official one. But think about it hey if he can't have an official GF maybe your not the only one there.

Answer 10

I think that you just need to ask him straight out . this thing we are doing is what ? then say you are not placing any pressure on him but you would like to know what is your place in his world. Your having fun and he is great so don't push for the
c word................... ( commitment ) he will in his time and if he doesn't then you can cut the string in your own time and watch him drift away .

Answer 11

inscurity will chase a guy off faster than anything else and it sounds ot me like your relationship is just beginning. you need to relax and go with the flow and get to know him better and enjoy life. old age gets here fast enough.