Should I, a 19 yr. old woman be dating a 40 yr. old man???

Question

I am 19 years old. I have had my share of relationships, short and long-term. I am currently dating a 40 year old man. My girlfriends think I am crazy. My mother and father are worried that I am ruining my life by being with him. He has been married and divorced. He has 4 children, two of which are older than me. Those two are step-kids. His other two are age 17 and 14. They are not excited about the dating but they pretty much accept it. The 14 year old more than the 17 year old. I guess my question is should I break things off with him because of the age difference? We have been dating since June 26th, 2006 and living together since the middle of July. We have already discussed marriage and having having children together. Everything is moving very quickly which wouId normally be scary for me becuase I am so young but with him everything just seems right. Without knowing the two of us personally it is hard to judge but please try to look at it from all sides and give me some advice.

Answer 1

WOW this is a tough situation. The big age difference is gonna be a factor in many situations. Lets say you do have kids, he won't have as much energy as you would to tacle on raising them. How about if he gets sick, would you be there to care for him and support your family? You are only 19 and you have a lot to experience. You haven't even turned 21 and gone through the whole drinking faze. I think having a family is great, but you still have to allow yourself to experience life.

Answer 2

Samantha,
If you are happy with him and are able to build a life, why not?
An older man can give you so much more than a boy can. He is probably financially stable and able to give you what you want.
He is undoubtably a good lover, otherwise why would you be with him.
The only thing to worry about is he is 40 and most likely set in his ways. You are going to grow and change. This could cause a problem in the future.
Why did you move in with him so quickly?

Answer 3

you are asking for a disaster i have see this many times and believe me it might work for a little while but it won't long term because first off you have nothing in common you were born and have been through different things in your life you are secondly too young to know what you want for the rest of your life and how would or should his kids respect you when they are the ages that they are thirdly you have not experienced life yet don't get married or be too serious till you are at least old enough to drink because till then your life changes so much believe me you grow and change in the years following high school most of the people I know who have married before being in the mid twenties have ended in divorce for the simple fact that we change as we get older. Good luck with whatever you choose but remember your parents have lived life and know you and what's good for you even if you can't see it now and your friends are there and know the situation and if you allow there perception to help you make the right choice you will be better off believe me plus after one month you really don't know what you want even after 3 you won't so please don't make that mistake if you end up pregnant you will be a single mother most likely because of the age difference

Answer 4

You're only 19...how can you even think of marriage? When you are that young your feelings, thoughts, everything in you life changes a lot. If you feel so much for this man there is no rush...before making big decisions you must experience more with him. Please wait more than 2 years before marrying a man...any man....but specially if he's THAT old!! If he really loves you he will give you all the time you need.

Answer 5

Like you said, we don't know you, so I may or may not answer your question, but I'll try. If it's what really and truly makes you happy, then go for it. If you yourself are having doubs, maybe you should step back and think about it first. Don't let other people tell you that it's wrong, you need to find out for yourself. I don't believe that crap about being too young to know what you want, because I know people twice as old as you who still don't know what they want. Just do what makes you happy for now.

Answer 6

I would say no, because of the kids, you're half their ages! Besides that, I think it's a bit rushed to move in and suddenly discuss marriage and all, you're 19 and haven't even know who you are and what you want yet.

Answer 7

The only way I can answer this is to say, Go For what you want and just make sure you will be happy with what you get!!

Answer 8

Gross. Just think of it like this. When he's wrinkly, old, and 80, you're only a mere 59. He'll die before you! Then you'll be a widow. Safe yourself some grieving and go get someone your age. Blehhhh.

Answer 9

You need to move out, but date him. You are post to be out partying. I say if you love him then be with him, but wait until you are sure. You need to be young, not old

Answer 10

hahahahaha...omg.....grl u shouldnt b wit him.....if u continue wit him then ur life is ruined lol..ur parents r right....jus remember (parent knoo best) and jus take ur family's advice cuz they want the best 4 u.....and girl...just reverse ur question....instead of asking >>Should I, a 19 yr. old woman be dating a 40 yr. old man??? << u should think about this question instead>>> SHOULD A 40 YR OLD GUY BE DATING A 19YR OLD GIRL? lol....jus think about that and ull see that HES the one thats wrong....cuz ur still young and easily dominated by charm and stuff...but hes a guy wit PLENTY of experiebce and actually knows how 2 seduce women....lol....and u should look at the movie>>SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE....lol...jus watch the movie and take ur parents advice...cuz ull thank them in the future.....and ur boyfriend is a perv too......cuz he aint supposed 2 b looking at girls ur age...