Based on previous experiences I know my boyfriend will get upset at something and act cold and distant towards me without talking to me about what upsets him. The cause of his discontent usually only comes out if I initiate a discussion. Even then,I have to show lots of encouragement and openness for him to feel comfortable enough to talk.
I know his father and his father is very passive aggressive towards others in the family,especially his mother. When some of his friends, who are a bit manipulative, get caught lying to him or taking advantage of him, he tries to talk it out with his friends. But, his friends deny any wrongdoing and will end conversations when he tries to discuss things. His friends are cutting off honest communication. They'll even punish him by not inviting him out if he pursues the discussion too much.
Can anything be done so my boyfriend can become less passive aggressive and have more healthy relationships?
2006-08-21 11:28:23 · 4 answers · asked by motomotorzee 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
What am I doing to encourage his behavior?
2006-08-21 11:41:15 · update #1
Yes. This enters into the nature vs nurture debate but if you are raised by passive aggressive parent(s) you are more likely to learn the behavior and incorporate it into your life to some extent.
More difficult than being passive aggressive is being in a relationship with someone who is passive aggressive. A healthy relationship will greatly depend on his learning to communicate truthfully and stop himself when he senses he is doing some of the passive aggressive behaviors. He may need professional help to tackle this or he may end up with poor relationships and job prospects.
2006-08-21 11:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by conntom2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, stop rewarding the behavior!
Then, educate both of yourselves on passive aggressive behavior. You may even want to role play some scenarios with him so he can see how frustrating this is for others. It sounds like this behavior is endemic in your social group.
My experience with people who do this is that if you start calling them on it every time (My, how passive-aggressive of you!) they wake up to what they are doing.
2006-08-21 18:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by Catspaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A counselor/behavioral therapist would be quite beneficial. Changing those ingrained types of behaviors is sooooo difficult to do alone w/o professional help. Sometimes impossible. Best of luck...
2006-08-21 18:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by coffeepleasenosugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
search the web for a medical site explainging passive agressive behavior and do some research this might help you out
2006-08-25 17:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by robs_princess2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋