IF you had an affair and became pregnant but were prolife and believed abortion was murder would you tell your husband it was his baby to save the child?
(Telling him about the fair is not an option) Please hurry need to make a decision by wednesday.
2006-08-21 10:30:59 · 70 answers · asked by Scarlett L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Having an abortion. It's not the baby's fault if you're screwing around!
2006-08-21 10:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by sarahbeth 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. About the baby possibly not being his and the affair. Lying is far worse than not and as with any lie, he will soon find out. Just think about this, if there is a medical condition with the baby and you have to check for a donor of blood or organs, the hospital will check the parents and siblings first. It will come back that your husband isn't the father. Also, I would look at what caused you to have an affair in the first place. You don't want to have a child and then your husband find out later in the child's life that he isn't the father. What would that do to the child? If that were to happen, I think that an abortion would be better. I have 4 children and I don't believe in abortion either, but I also have had a father run out on me when I was a child and that is a horrible feeling. Then go to marriage counseling.
2006-08-21 10:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by brittme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my oppinion, having an abortion is way worse. But why not tell your husband? And how can you be sure the baby is not his? I mean, if you didn't even have sex with him any time at all near the date of conception, don't you think he's capable of doing a little math on his own?
I personally would never abort a baby no matter who the father was. It's not the baby's fault by any stretch of the imagnination; the baby dind't ask to be concieved.
Edited to add:
What about the real father of the child? Doesn't he deserve the truth? Does he even know he might have a child that you are carrying? Do you love him more than you love your husband? You really have a lot of things to think about here.
Even having an abortion is a form of lying. You still had this affair either way; distroying the "evidence" doens't change that.
Edited again to add:
Is your husband pro-life? What if you were to go through with having an abortion and then he were to find out about it somehow? What if he found out about the affair? You can't just keep assuming your husband is a dumb as a brick. People figure things out. Few secrets are kept forever.
2006-08-21 10:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by doxhaelend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop and take a breath....do not rush into anything. I am pro-choice, but I know enough to know that if you have an abortion and are Prolife you will carry that with you forever. On the other hand, you cannot have a baby from an affair and not let your husband know. It will come out eventually and it could be twice as bad when it does. Please go see someone in person who can help you and guide you....a clergyman, a doctor, a counselor. You are talking about more than just one life here.
Having an abortion is only one way of killing your child. If you have it and let your husband believe the baby his and it comes out later you may harm your child in an even worse ways. You must go to your husband eventually and allow him and the father of the child to be part of your decision. I wish I could say more to help and comfort you. I am saying prayers that you will do whatever is right for all involved. You will be in my thoughts.
2006-08-21 10:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by dddanse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Look, lying is not as bad a murdering an unborn baby (I'm prolife too) but it still is not right. Tell your husband that the baby could possibly not be his. You shouldn't lie to him. Telling him the truth will not change the fact that you are pregnant and whether or not you will get an abortion. If he is not willing to work this out and be a father to a child not of his blood, then you have other choses. There is plenty of families out there that want babies or you could raise the baby on your own. But I think you really need to tell him. It all comes down to how strong your love is and how strong of a person he is. It's your choice what you'll do but I highly urge you to tell him. And tell the child father too. They both will need to know.
2006-08-21 11:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would telling the truth be out of the question? For one I would never have an affair to begin with, for another no matter what, I would NEVER have an abortion. I got pregnant in high school and still kept my child. Imagine what my parents thought. Getting pregnant by a 36 year old on my 18 birthday and then telling them I was pregnant after I got married behind their backs. You are a prick. I would always tell the truth to my husband and anyone who does not doesn't deserve anything good from their husband or wife. But why would telling the Truth not be an option. It is what anyone would do if they loved anything and anyone besides them selves.
I have heard of you. I posted something on here last night and someone said that if you saw it you would have a fit and say how no one cares for the fetus. You are an inhuman monster. How would you have liked it if your mother flushed you down the toilet. I hope you rot for what you believe. When I got pregnant, I was having alot of problems. they thought it was a tubal pregnancy. I was sent to the emergency room for an aultrsound. After ten minutes of looking for the heart beat they couldnt find it and told me that my son was dead. It broke mine and my husbands heart. When they were preping me for a procidure of some sort, they found the heart beat. I wanted to kill the nurse for putting me through that. A life is a life no matter how small. I love my child. I am all for a rape victim not wanting a child, but a women who just choses that she doesn't want it and gets rid f it is a murderer in my book.
2006-08-21 10:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by gin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends upon how strong your relationship is with your husband. If the 'affair' was just a one-time, temporary abberation, you might be able to hold your marriage together, even if you told him the truth. But if there is something in your marriage that sent you into the arms of another man (and affair is usually a protracted thing, not a one-night stand) then it's unlikely the marriage would stand the strain of another man's child. In either case, abortion or lying are not your only options. You can tell your husband the truth and offer to give the child up for adoption. What happens to your relationship after the child is born is up to the two of you.
Whatever your choice, good luck to you, and God bless you. And your husband.
2006-08-21 10:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the real father and your husband look the same I don't see why not if you are really against abortion, which I am. If they look very different you run the risk of the baby not looking like him and then he will find out. You should tell him though if you want to keep the baby because he might be understanding. My sister got pregnant by another man and had no choice, but to tell her husband since he had a vasectomy before they even met. He has accepted the baby as his own, the real father will not be in the baby's life. you shold tell though becasue down the line there might be genetic problems that won't run in either yours or your husbands families.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-22 02:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Christina W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats so wrong to not tell your husband. it's not fair to him or the child. I am also against abortions but the truth is the right thing to do for everyone involved. How would you tell your husband the baby isn't his if you didn't have an affair? that doesn't make sense. Anyways you should've thought about the consequences of having an affair before it happened. I mean didn't you think that you could loose your husband over it (obviously you don't care that much if you cheated) or you might get prego's?
2006-08-21 10:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should never had the affair, now look what you have to deal with,your husband will find out some how that the baby is not his, I'm not against abortion, you have two options:
tell your hubby everything and see what happens
have an abortion and get over it and don't cheat again.
If you keep this baby and act like everything is dandy,you'll be living a huge lie everyday, think of the pressure you will go through.i say come clean and face the music, remember you messed up, don't try to hide from it, if not it will come back.
2006-08-21 10:47:58 · answer #10 · answered by killbill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... I'm strongly Pro-Choice but I was in this position myself once. My daughter is now 14 because I CHOSE not to have the abortion AND tell my husband the truth.
You're in a hard place. Either way you'll be compromising your principles.
Personally, if the choice was really as clear cut as you make it sound (and I doubt that it is, but, hey, it's your life), I'd choose the guilt of a quiet abortion to living a lie. The truth will eventually come out and you'll have to answer to your husband, your child, your family and everyone else when it does.
But, honestly, it's time to quit living a lie. The fact that you're having a secret affair tells me that you're not in a good space to make this decision at all.
2006-08-21 10:45:14 · answer #11 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋