Hi everyone, i recently lost my mum 3 years ago and i miss her a lot. I am really sad. help?

Question

Im 18 and quite sad at the moment.. if you have any ideas what would help me, that would be great, thanks x

Answer 1

oh don't b sad sweetie,Ur mum is always there for you... even when u are having Ur ups and downs,she loves you a lot and she will always take care of you. Take care sweetie. xxx

Answer 2

I lost my mother 23 years ago and I still miss her. I was older than you at the time. I can only imagine how you feel. You are very young to lose your mum. It is hard, very hard , but try to think of her still with you. All those years she was with you ,all the things she taught you, all the happy times, everything you shared. remember the laughter, and the words. As you go forward in the next few years, when you need to make decisions or find comfort, you will some how know what you mum would say if she was still here, and you feel comforted as if she is with you. It will take a while yet but the pain will ease,things will get better. What would your mum say now if she knew you was still so sad? she wouldn't want that, just think what her words would be, be guided by them. I hope you feel happier soon.

Answer 3

What you are going through is just normal, I lost my Mum 10 years ago, at I still miss her heaps, lost my son 11 years ago, and miss him every single day....We have to learn to live with it, remenber the great times, laugh about the hardcase things they or we did together, celebrate their lives and not their deaths. You Mum would not wont you to feel sad all the time, can you talk to someone about her, its really helpful, to talk about your Mum, i am no expert , and dont pretend to be, its just my life experiances, that i can share with you, and hope that you can take what ever you need from it, and it may help you. I know that, how you are feeling at the moment does not sound nice, this proberly, it not wont to hear, but it does get better, its all part of the greiving process, miss them, anger at them leaving, guilt, and many other things that run through your brain.. dont let anyone tell you that this is not normal, because it is, and as soon as you let go, and cry your heart out, scream if you wont, things slowly start to get easier,,, i used to go to the beach, as i live in New Zealand, so are surrounded by beaches, or the river and just sit there for hours and think about Mum and my Son... So i hope there is somewhere you can go and have some peace, and be by yourself for a while, Here is a poem that i found, i read it often. I hope that you like it and it gives you peace.Miss me a little but let me go, when we come to the end off the road,and the sun has set for me,I want no rites in a gloom filled room, why cry for a soul set free,Miss me a little, but not too long and not with your head bowed low, Remenber the love that once shared Miss me but let me go. I just found this other poem, it is also lovely, Too Mourn too long for those we love is self indulgent, But too honour their menory with a promise to live a little better for having known them gives purpose to their life and some reason for their death,,,,, good luck and god bless...

Answer 4

Hugs Lucy love, I lost my mom 3 years ago too and I know how you feel. I think it effects different people in different ways. Some say we should be over the loss by now and others say it is still ok. The saying 'Time heals' is true for me because I can talk about mom now without crying 'though having said that I have the odd little cry on my own now and then.

I still can't go through photos of her and I know that probably sounds odd since it has been 3 years but it still seems recent to me so I know what you mean.

Being 18 Lucy you have all the usual teenage things to handle, and maybe it makes it a little harder for you to be without your mom, but remember there are lots of teenagers out there with the same problems and they will pass too. It's all part of growing up and nothing to worry about. You will look back at it all and smile, honest. Just hang in there girl, you will be fine.

I am a lot older than you Lucy but only yesterday, in the center of a city, I suddenly missed my mom and out of the blue I said to my husband "I would love just 10 minutes with my mom". It comes and goes. Feel a bit silly telling you this but I used to miss her a lot when I would be hanging out washing....probably because I was alone and thinking about her a lot...anyway I would have a good cry and tell her how much I was missing her right now and talking about the fun times we had together and telling her not to worry about me that I would be fine and she was to be happy. It did me a lot of good and I would feel much better after my little private cry.

Did you know it is said if we look up we just cannot feel depressed. Don't know how it works but I often look up at the sky when I am thinking about her. Only in the past couple of weeks I heard the look up thing mentioned again. The programme was about feeling good and the man said he always told his clients to look at chimneys because our brain does not do sad if we are looking UP. He even reminded us that feeling sad was usually said to be feeling DOWN. Now don't walk around looking up all the time Lucy keep an eye on the pavement too and be careful crossing the road or you will get me into trouble..

Just one more sort of silly thing that helped me.....If I couldn't fall asleep at night and was feeling really lonely, I would imagine my pillow to be the shoulder of God dressed in a silk robe. I would rest my head on His shoulder and say a few prayers and next thing it would be morning. Hope I helped in some little way love. You will be fine everything will be alright. Good luck in everything you do every day Lucy. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless.

Answer 5

There's no easy answer to this one I'm afraid. I lost my mum 5 years ago (on thursday 24th august)and I feel your pain. The way I get through is to imagine what my mum would say to me and remember all the things she taught me and try to live by her example. Memories are important and on anniversaries I try to celebrate her life rather than grieve her death. Life can sometimes feel really difficult and you will always miss your mum, sometimes more than others but I truly believe that when people die they stay with you. Even if you dont believe in the afterlife, she still lives in you, you are part of her and it is your duty to make the best of yourself in honour of your mother's memory. I believe your mum would want you to be happy and I hope you can learn to cope. Grief is a selfish emotion and one that only you can begin to understand and with much time and effort come to terms with your loss. I am sorry you had to lose your mother at such a young age and I am thinking of you.
ps. Dont try to cope alone, make sure you talk about your feelings with a close friend or other trustworthy source.
take care x

Answer 6

i know exactly how u feel, im the only girl out of three and i lost my mom when i was 8 and im 20 now and when growing up....becoming a teenager i had to live life with out my mother at a time i really needed her, but none of my brothers or father understand because we all lost the same person deosnt meen it has the same effect, also grief doesnt have to happen when the person dies it can take a while to sink in..obviously deal with it but dont let it over take u..... what cheers me up is remembering the fun times and also remember the people who compliment u, i love hearing stories about my mum from friends, one man said to me if im half the woman my mother was i would do well in live and there is no other compliment i would like to hear other than that. psi believe my mother is lookin after me as is ur mother!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Hi,

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

No one could replace a mum we know this but life has to go on.

I am sure you have thoughts of your mum which you carry inside you.

Never let these feelings go.

It a sad fact of life we all have to go sometime but just remember the good times you shared with your mum and also remember she's looking down on you and wouldnt want you to be upset or in pain.

Live life to the full and try to get too depressed your mother wouldnt want that.

Take care and if you wanna a friend message me.

Steven

Answer 8

Why don't you do a scrap book of your mum's life.

Get as many pictures of your Mum all the way through her life (family should be able to help) and do pages with comments and graphics to describe what was going on at the time.

It's surprising what you will find out about your Mum and when you have finished the rest of your family will love it too, and you can always look at it when you are feeling down and remember all the good times she, and, you and she had together.

Answer 9

Hi Lucy W
I to lost my mum just 2 months ago and I miss her a lot but I am older than you. 15 when your mother died is young to have to cope without her, she wouldn't want you to carry on mourning for her. Her wishes for you would live your life to the full work hard find a good husband and have a family, (Do it for her).
In the short term perhaps a visit to your doctor telling him/her how you feel then join a club or take up a hobby or maybe do a course in something to help you move on. It will get better.
I write things down when I want to talk to her and remember that I can't just phone her.
You have a long and happy life to live good Luck

Answer 10

Do you become sad often? If so, maybe it's worth a trip to the dr. There are some wonderful meds that can help. It is natural for you to miss your mom... and it does not help that you lost her at such a young age. However, it is your responsibility to seek help if needed... you can overcome depression... and live a fulfilled life. That is what your mother would want (this is coming from a mother). There are also self-help books on letting go of loved ones. Check them out at the library, research them in your fav book store... and buy them cheaply on Walmart.com.
Take Care.

Answer 11

Death is painful It leaves one hurt,lonely,sad,depressed. However after 3 years you should be over grief. Feeling sad all the time will not bring her back. Do you think she would be happy if she could see you as you are? You are 18---you have a life you need to live. Get with it!