Speaking of Age Differences........What's Your Opinion On The Difference of 23 and..........???

Question

Okay, well a young lady posted here earlier about the age difference between she (18), and her boyfriend (48). My predicament is not really the same as hers; however, I would like to get some opinions on this. Okay, I recently met a guy that is 45 years old....I am 23 years old. He seems nice, has no children, and looks very good and takes very good care of himself. As a matter of fact, I think he looks better than some guys my age. This man is settled, has a career, and just basically has a good life. The only thing is, though I am somewhat okay with the idea of getting involved with him.....at the same time, i'm hesitant. I am not obsessed with age, but at the same time, I keep asking myself if this is the right thing to do. After all, both my parents are 48....only a few years older than he is. He seems very nice and sincere, but i'm just a little wary about this. Anyway, what's your opinion on this age difference? Are the ages of 23 and 45 really all that different?

I haven't given much thought to children with him...since our relationship hasn't really gotten to that level yet. However, I know for me personally, I love children, and would like at LEAST three...though more would definitely be welcome. Not really sure about him though....

Answer 1

age doesn't matter... ...to me...
soulmates are soulmates...!
(personality fits are more important than any age difference)


HOWEVER....
there are those that it does matter...
they will see you two and that will offend THEM...
they'll talk, gossip, lie, (look at all the negative answers here-that's some of the things they'll say)
and as well,
you parents may not like it.... ...what you gonna do then?
(I was in an age diff and a race diff - she told me her mom was the problem is why she was breaking up - I'm not getting between her and her mom - and I still care for her)


So, there is added peer pressure with an age different bonding pair person... ...I believe it is more on the younger person or at least the older person maybe has experienced it before and is used to it.

You being the younger I feel I should ask you this.
23 - 45 in ten years will be
33 - 55 in ten years will be
43 - 65 in ten years will be
53 - 75, etc..

do you think that soulmates are soulmates?

Answer 2

I'd have to say yes to this one.

My mother has a friend who's husband is 18 years older than her. They have two children.

Now, while it may SEEM okay to get involved in a relationship, I think it'd be best if you looked to the future in a bit. You see, currently, my mom's friend and her husband fight a whole lot over nothing, for example, when she calls him down for dinner and he doesn't answer, she calls him again and he honestly blows up. She is still young, I believe 36 or so, and wants someone a little more...well, I'm sure you get the picture. To make this short, she's basically become paranoid and is convinced that one day her husband will murder her in bed, and that is why they sleep in seperate rooms and she keeps her door locked.

I'm not sure if this answered your question or not, but no matter what people say - age really DOES matter in the future. So I'd suggest you do some careful thinking, because once you've decided a path, then you surely cannot go back in time and change it without damage.

Answer 3

I don't think age should matter at all. But it's okay to feel hesitant. Maybe it would be better if you two remained friends for awhile until you feel more comfortable. If and when the time is right, that next step will come naturally to the both of you. If you jump into things right away since you're not sure about it, chances are it won't work out because you won't be able to be yourself around him due to the fact that you'll be constantly asking yourself if you're doing the right thing. Keep a slow, steady pace and I'm sure it'll be well worth the wait. They say the best things in life take time, right? =)

Just sit back and enjoy the ride; if it's meant to be, you'll naturally know when the time is right to move to that next step. Hope I've helped.

Answer 4

yeah its a big difference but u are both a mature age, 18 and 48 is totally different bc 18 is not a mature age..i am married to a 30 year old and im only 21 thats not as much as your difference but i still have experience on this subject we get along great cuz i was always very mature! he doesnt seem older to me but he also doesnt act immature at all....we have a beautiful life together and im so glad i didnt let the age get in the way. people make comments sometimes cuz he has a few gray hairs most likely from me lol but all in all im so happy with what i did..best of luck to u if its meant to be then it will work!

Answer 5

rather people who're 18 and under would desire to observe the age distinction pondering each and all of the regulations yet as quickly as you pass previous that your high quality. in case you look at a lot of mum and dad now a days there's a age distinction. and if hes the single you like then hes the single you like no longer in all danger plenty will exchange that as long as its no longer a extensive distinction i say choose for it, via fact i do no longer think of its that undesirable in any respect. Plus your unlikely to love in basic terms men who're 365 days or 2 older, each and every so often older would be greater clever.

Answer 6

I think it depends on your perspective, and on your relationship goals. My personal feeling is that there's nothing wrong with the age difference per se, but it might present problems in the future if you decide to start a family. By the time you are in your prime, and ready to have kids, he will be a senior citizen. A lot of older guys are happy with their life as it is, and don't want (any more) kids.

When I was in my early 20s, I dated guys who were much older than myself; my ex-husband was 16 years older. Now, 10-15 years later, I date guys from the same age range (35-40) as before, but they're now much closer to my age. IMHO, as long as your relationship goals are compatible, there isn't something necessarily wrong with dating an older guy - although it IS somewhat uncommon.

Answer 7

my sisters husband is not far from my parent age . she is 38 and he is in his fifties.when it is young ,say under twenty with say older than 20-30 etc. that's bullshit, but i think your age is okay, you are a woman now and as long as your not going the other ways and dating a 16 year old etc. i think you can make your own mind up whether ,you date him. the only thing i always think about is what if you want kids and the older person doesn't.my sisters husband has 2 kids from previous relationship and my sister and husband have none and there are no plans to ,but my sister never wanted kids anyway, shes just not interested.good luck

Answer 8

I think age difference isn't as important as you get older. In your mid-late twenties you're a true adult - paying bills and in a real job of some kind, probably a college grad too. Earlier than mid-20s, you're still in school, still unsure about the future, and still making stupid mistakes. Your judgement isn't the best either. I think you're old enough to make that choice, where as the person who posted earlier probabl isn't. However, if you're unsure, take it really slow, and don't be afraod to back off. Good luck :-)

Answer 9

yea, its a little bit too old. I have dated someone when I was 23, he was 41, and it was tough, we wanted different things in life. And if you want to have kids some day, and right now you might not be ready, lets say in 5 years? he will be 50, he might not be able to anymore. Just to have fun, its great, but nothing serious. Be careful, I had to get a restraining order in the end. he got too obsessive. Good luck!

Answer 10

Hmmm... Cultures, ideas, bliefs are all different. I'm 20 & my opinion is that the age difference must not be so much, at most 6, 7 not more than that, and I don't know why, but I think that middle aged guys are somehow mean; they look so kind & respectable, but they're such mean creatures!

If I were you, I would choose someone a few years older than myself.