what is the best blonde joke?

Answer 1

why was the blonde staaring at the orange juice carton?

it said concentrate

Answer 2

how bout some jokes??


ok, there was a blonde, a brunette and a red head standing right in front of sudam husain getting redy to get killed with guns and all. Now u know,none of them wanted to get killed.So the brunette yelled, "Tornado!" and sudam looked back and the brunette ran away. So he looked back at the red and the blonde and this time the red head said "Earthquake!" he looked back, she ran away. so now it was only the blonde standing there and she yelled "FIRE!"

get it??? fire your guns?? hahahaha....4 more go 2 jokes.com


heres another:
this isnt a blonde joke:
ok there was a guy walking in the middle of no where when he finally came 2 a little shack where there was a guy sellin donkeys. the man asked the guy there if he could borrow a donkey to get somewhere. "ok but there are religius donkeys, to make it stop , u need 2 say jesus christ and 2 make it go you need to say praise the lord." the man took one of the donkeys and was off. he was riding for a while when suddently the donkey started galloping ... torwards a cliff ! so the man screamed: "JESUS CHRIST ,JESUS CHRIST!!!" The donkey stopped at the edge of the cliff and the guy said "pffffewf! praise the lord!"

i just thought those were pretty funny.

another blonde joke:

there was a blonde a brunette and a red being chased by the police so they hop into a pet store. the brounette goes in a dog cage, the red in a cat cage and the blonde in a patato sack. the police run into the pet shop, shake the cat cage, and the red goes: ''meow, meow"
they shake the dog cage, the brunette says: "ruff, ruff"
they shake the patato sack, and the blonde goes : PATATO! PATATO!!


HAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOL

Answer 3

here is some:
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is
farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????"

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
expect me to show it to you!"

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

Answer 4

A Blonde's Brain At Work
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

Answer 5

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are stuck on an island, so they each decide to swim back to the mainland. The brunette drowns a quarter of the way, the red head drowns half way there and the blond swims three quarters of the way, gets tired and swims back.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head go to heaven and god tells them "if you jump off that cliff and shout out an animal's name you will become it." So first the brunette goes, and she shouts "fox" and she turns into a fox. Then the red head goes, and she shouts "eagle" and she turns into a eagle. Then blonde runs up, trips up on a rock at the edge and shouts "oh, crap" and turns into a crap.

A blonde finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her and when he comes home she has gun pointed to her head. He tells her not kill herself. Then she says "don't worry you're next" pulls the trigger.

Answer 6

There is a blonde brunette and red head they are all standing in front of a mirror that when you saw something truthful u get $1million but if you lie you disapper. so the brunette said I think I am the preetiest person alive poof she was gone. The red head says I think I am the smartest person alive poof she was gone. The blonde goes I think Poof she was gone.

Answer 7

Blonde Rectum Stretcher (Priceless)

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a blonde passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

Well," the blonde said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot anal openig?" he asked. - Edited for answers

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket                               $95.00
Court Costs.                                  $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face...............  PRICELESS

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

Answer 8

There was a blonde dog sitting in the corner chewing on a bone.
now the dog only has 3 legs..

Answer 9

A beautiful blonde women walks into the doctors office for a check up and the doctor loses all his concentration.
The doctor tells the blond women to take of her shirt so she can feel her heartbeat.
So she takes it off, and the doctor starts feeling her breasts and starts playing with it.
The blonde women asks 'are you feeling my heartbeat?' The doctor replies 'yes'.
Than the doctor tells her to take off her pants so he can see if everything is normal.
So she takes of her pants and the doctor starts having sex with her.
The blonde women asks, 'are you giving me herpes?' The doctor replies 'yes!'

Answer 10

2 blonds are walking along the train tracks. The first blond says...I think these are deer tracks...the other one says no dummy they are bear tracks. They get hit by a train.

LOL..it took me a moment when I heard it to get it...of course though I am blond...LOL

Oh and here's another one.....a blond goes to her doctor because she wants to go the pill. he says take one every day even when you're on your period. She say...O.K. giggle...

3 mo's later she goes to her doctor and says I think i'm pregnant. he said didn't you take the birth control pills i gave you. The blond says yeah...but they kept falling out! LOL


Oh AND here's another one...how do you kill a blond? Put a scatch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Answer 11

How do you know a blonde's been having sex with an elephant?
She sits on a bar stool and hits the floor.

Another good one involving blondes and bar stools: How can you get four blondes to sit on a bar stool?
Turn it upside down.