My son Topher recently got a ticket for tailgaiting, and two days later he crashed my BMW...What is the right.

Question

This happened and I didnt know what to do ,s oI gave him the keys and his liscense back 3 days later..am I a bad parent? or did I do the right thing?

Answer 1

You're not a bad parent... Maybe a little too forgiving.

What I'd do...

1. Take back the keys to the Beemer.
2. Rip him a new one for wrecking it.
3. Make him pay for the damages as well as the ticket.
4. No driving for him until he's 18.
5. Before he can drive another vehicle he must complete a course from a reputable driving school.
6. Upon completion of the driving course he may then purchase his OWN vehicle using his OWN money and pay for his OWN insurance and his OWN maintenance and his OWN gas.

And if he gives you any crap over it, Throw military school brochures at him and say, "Pick one."

Answer 2

If it was my son he wouldn't see his license for at least a year never mind the keys to a car! He's obviously not a responsible driver and your letting him be on the road is definately not a good idea. Your not only endangering his life but also the possiblity of another person whether their a pedestrian or another driver. What you did doesn't make you a bad parent your just doing what would make your son happy but he has to learn that he must pay for his mistakes. Get that license back and don't let him behind the wheel of a car for a very long time! Good Luck

Answer 3

That depends on whether you think he's learned his lesson or not. I know it's hard ot say no to your kids, but maybe holding off a on giving him the privalage again wouldn't be such a bad idea. Although you alread did it, so I would just give him restrictions like curfue, or additional chores, or not driving friends around, or not using the car for fun and just for school or work, and talk to him to see if he understands the implecations of his actions. Allowing him to share or contribute to the repairs would also help teach him responsibility. You had the right idea with taking the license and keys away, I say you just make a little tougher on him so he appreciates his mom and what she does for him to have these luxuries. Good luck with it!

Answer 4

bad parent? jury still out. stupid? kinda for sure. your son is obviously not mature enough to be driving yet. and until he can prove that he is, he should not be driving a car unsupervised. three days is a pretty nothing punishment. wonder if you'd have been so eager to give him the keys back if he'd smashed his own teeth out on the steering wheel. or if he'd hurt someone. because it's just plain luck that neither of these things has happened yet.

he should be back to supervised driving (with an adult in the passenger seat) or being driven by you or relegated to public transportation for at least a month.

not that i think you will do this. you are obviously a pushover who is being led by your own convenience rather than ...

Answer 5

aren't you worried about your son's life? You have two warnings that your kid is not acting responsibly, and sooner than later he might kill someone or even himself.

He's gonna have to learn that when he does something there's a consequence. Have him get a job, and have him pay u an amount every month to cover the cost of fixing the car. If u feel guilty taking it from him, take it and save it for him, and give it back a year or two later. He needs to understand that life is not a one way street.

It's ok to be harsh on ur kid when necessary, better than sobbing about a lost son later. Good luck!

Answer 6

If you just handed him the keys back without figuring out whether he had learned from the accident what he had not from the ticket you are a terrible parent but the way this kid drives may be an end to your parenthood or to someone else's child's life.

I would not let him drive at all until I was sure he had seen the light, brake light that is....

Answer 7

He needs to have the keys taken away a little longer than just 3 days. Just with the tailgating ticket alone should qualify for 2 weeks minimum without wheels. Otherwise, it's like a slap on the wrist... they don't take the punishment seriously enough, and therefore they don't learn a lesson.

Answer 8

i got a ticket once, my parents made me pay it out of my own money....

and your not a bad parent but you shouldn't have given him the keys back, if he needed to go somewhere you had to approve it and take him, he should only be allowed to go to school and to work... other than that nowhere, and he should pay you for the damage to the car with the money from his job, or get one so he can pay you back...

you giving him the keys back was like telling him, hey honey screw up my car, get you license taken away, and in 3 days ill give you the keys and your licenses back!

by punishing him he will learn not to do it...

and if he is in high school, nothing is more embarrassing as being dropped off in the front of the school by your mom!

he needs to respect you and your things...

hope everything works out!

Answer 9

I would have taken his car because he crashed mine. You're not a bad parent, but you could have given some restrictions. Like, he can only drive after he takes a course or works to pay off the damages. I would take the keys back and teach him a lesson.

Answer 10

I wouldn't have handed over the keys to my BMW, obviously he isn't mature enough to drive yet. I wouldn't let him drive my car again, I would make him get a job to help pay your deductible, or for damages if you aren't going through insurance. I wouldn't say you are a bad parent, but I think letting him have your keys
showed bad judgment on your part. Lesson be learned.

Next time he wants to go somewhere, two words: BUS PASS!