A guy I'm seriously dating isn't that close to his mother. He only talks to her when she asks him questions about his life and even then he only gives minimal answers. He sees her on a pretty regular basis, but holds a grudge against her b/c she spends beyond her means on personal items and has to borrow money from him. But, it's worth noting that my bf growing up had to witness his father repeatedly blame his mother for the families financial problems. My bf's father isn't very affectionate or supportive of his mother and it seems like the father's view has subconsciously affected my bf's views. My bf is supportive and postiive when it comes to our relationship. Does anyone have any insight into dealing with mommy issues?
2006-08-21 09:08:49 · 4 answers · asked by motomotorzee 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
A good sign in a man with a 'dysfunctional' family is if YOU are NOTHING like his mother. His reticence with his mother may not be his father's influence but his own opinion of her behavior. I wouldn't worry about it. Your boyfriend is still respectful of his parents and it sounds like that is NOT an easy task. He sounds like a good guy.
2006-08-21 09:18:25 · answer #1 · answered by a_delphic_oracle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your boyfriend has started to take some good first steps, to remove himself from being triangulated into his parent's relationship through their money issues. He should go a step further and stop giving his mother money. Right now, he is acting passive aggressively, not expressing why he is angry at her, just acting angry and cold toward her. He should do the reverse, express to his mother that he does not want to loan her money any more, and try to re-build the relationship.
The "red flag" which goes off with me for you, is that he is passive aggressive in dealing with women. If he starts giving you the cold shoulder, it is going to take some work to find out why he is mad at you.
2006-08-21 17:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Alice S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to figure out how a man will love you, is the way he loves his mother. No matter what he should have the most of love and respect for her. If he has a great relationship with her, he will have one with you. I'm talking about long term, not he's good to you now but crappy to her. My ex was the same way, treated me like gold (at first) treated his mom like crap. I got it in the end though. Once we got married, I was another woman in his life that loved him, and got treated like crap by him.
My bf now loves his mother unconditionally and has a great relationship with her in spite of all the sh_t he went through as a child b/c of her and in turn, he's good to me as well and all his female family members.
2006-08-21 16:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by dclady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hate to be a lovely girl who liked to spend money around a guy like that,...not that it is his fault, he has been, soured so to say...but, is it going to affect your relationship everytime you want to buy something you really like? Or are you going to have to stop think and then put it back, because he has a problem with it...Just watch the situatioin closely and be who you are, don't let HIS problems become yours.
2006-08-21 17:06:42 · answer #4 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋