Recently my husband agreed to help his mother fix up her vacation home. He needed a motorcycle because of gas prices in order to get to work and her house cheaper. She sent him $3000 to buy one, and now she runs him around like a dog. Expects him to spend any extra time working for her (we have 3 kids by the way). We got into an argument with her and she threw the money up in his face. If you ask me, if she hired a contracter to do all that he's done she would have paid $4000-$6000 for the work he's done already, she says he's only worked off $500. What can we do to change the situation?
2006-08-21 08:57:03 · 5 answers · asked by lilmama 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I imagine your husband knows his mother well enough to know that accepting this 'help' would come back to haunt him. I think your issue is with your husband, and he should be the one dealing with it (if he sees a problem, if not your issue is still with your husband!).
He could pay her back in cash, in full... but there would only be something else thrown in his face next time (this is known as passive manipulative on her part).
She probably misses having her son around and doesn't know how to express it, short of trying to control his behaviour (probably always has). Maybe some time with the grandchildren would be good. If she is good with your kids, drop them all off with her for a few days (that ought to to keep her busy !)... while the two of you have some adult time together. ;)
2006-08-21 09:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off the work he's done....I did some reading on this and when you agree to do some work for someone you write out a letter of intent. You write down what's to be done (paint wall, repair toliet etc) and what the cost will be. Usually a deposit is made too and the person signs it.
Maybe it's not too late tell her no more work will be done without a letter of intent. She also has to give a deposit so that way your husband has money to buy the materials needed.
I know he's just trying to help his mother but it's best to have things in writing this way he understands exactly what is to done and she knows what the total cost will be.
2006-08-21 09:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER NEVER NEVER go into business with family as I am sure you are aware of now! My advice: get the job done...let her compensate, pay back the $3000 and be done with it. If she needs something fixed from now on let her do it! Getting into business matters with family is a no- no. He didnt ask for the money so there for should be considered a gift. I hope things get better and he should be home w/ his wife and children instead of running around for his mother!
2006-08-21 11:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before he does any work, they need to agree on a price... and deduct it from the amount owed. Also, stand up to her and don't let her rule your lives. Good luck.
2006-08-21 09:07:51 · answer #4 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop all work on the house. set up a payment plan for the bike. pay it off, and NEVER AGAIN allow her to give money
2006-08-21 09:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by Crazy dog lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋