How long will the hurt last after loosing your mother. It has been little over a year, seems like yesterday?

Question

Sometimes it takes my breath away. I just wish that I could talk to her and tell her how much I miss and love her.

Answer 1

I am sorry for your loss, I am sure the hurt will remain with you for awhile, esp. since it seems as though you had a strong bond!

Answer 2

There really is no answer for you....it takes time...and a lot of different stages to get through something that is so life changing as losing your mother...I lost my mom almost four years ago now...she died 7 min before my birthday....but instead of focusing on the bad i think of the joy of knowing the happiness we brought each other when we were together....It makes me feel better to know that she is watching me everyday from up above...I'm sure your watches you too..You might not understand why she had to leave you but do believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I now have my son and I see my mother in him everyday...He's my reminder that family is the most important thing in the world. Remember that your family loves you and is trying to help you get through this ruff patch. And if your really lonely then just look up in the sky and remember that she's watching you everyday.

Answer 3

Death sucks. It sucks and it hurts. It's okay to grieve but try not to slip into a place that you might not be able to get out of. My little brother passed away while I was away at college. I let my grief and depression flunk me right out. I couldn't get a grip on reality and I refused to talk about it. That is the key. Find someone that you trust and at least knew of your mother. When you feel down talk to them. When you can't talk cry. Cry And Cry And Cry. Just remember that no matter how much you may feel alone that you are not. Visit her grave site and talk to her. Start a diary, with every entry title it, Dear Mom. It's been five years for me and I have five diaries( Dear Little brother, I miss you.) I read over them and I remember and I cry and then I get up and live.

Answer 4

Sorry to tell you this, but it will never go away completely, and that's not a bad thing to keep her in your memory, but it will get easier as time goes by. Even though she's not with you physically, you can and should talk to her in quiet moments like when you go to bed. Can you get to her grave site? My very best friend died and I often went to the cemetery and sat near the grave and talked to him,sometimes out loud and sometimes just in a whisper or in my head. I had to move out of that state so i can't get to his grave any mor but I still think about him and talk to him. Everybody grieves differently. Not everybody cries, and no one should tell you to"get over it" because its been so many months or so many years. You need to take the time you need to get over her passing and nobody can tell you how long that should take. I'll bet she knows how much you love and miss her. My prayers are with you. Try to stay positive and always think about the good times and good things. I wish you well.

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your loss. It's normal to feel that way. There's absolutely no time limit on grieving, but with time, the pain will lessen. I know you hear that all the time, but it's true.

I lost a close family member not even a year ago and I know it's so much different than losing a mother, the pain is still there as strong as if it happened yesterday. It was my mother's mom and she feels the pain twenty-times as strong.

You just have to hold on to the belief that it will get easier. With each passing holiday or birthday or happy event, the bad memories will slowly be replaced with good, happy memories and the pain will slowly recede to understanding and acceptance.

You'll never forget about her, you'll never stop grieving, but things will get easier. I'm looking forward to that point and I hope you will reach it, too.

Sorry I can't be much more help.
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ETA: She definitely knows how much you love and miss her.

Something that gets me through is a little story I heard from somewhere (can't remember where) and I'm sure I'll probably tell it all wrong (possibly put my own little spin on it), but hopfully you'll get the idea-

There's this place where it was extremely beautiful. The atmosphere was just overwhelming, and the night was clear and perfect. Everyone in this beautiful place was so excited, so happy because each one held a beautifully lit candle. They shared their beauty with those around them, their hearts lit with joy and happiness because of how the light from this very candle made them feel.

In the corner, though, there sat a woman. Her face was sad, her heart feeling slightly heavy. She wanted to feel the joy everyone else felt, the happiness and glow that everyone else got from this special candle light, but she couldn't. Everytime her candle was lit, it was put out...by the tears of those who mourned for her...

I know the story is SOOO off and completely done with my own personal spin, but each time I think of my lost family member, I think of that story, and about one day finding acceptance for the peace she's finally in so that her candle can shine brighter than ever.

It's corny, but sometimes it helps. Hopefully it will help you a little.

Answer 6

That is not something that you ever get over nor is it something to put a grief time frame on. I still have my mother, but we did have a scare a few weeks ago. I would be devastated at first, but being a christian, I would come to terms with it and know that she is in a better place. You will always have those times when you think of her and some old times and you will be dying inside all over again. That is perfectly natural. Sometimes i helps to just start talking to her. I know she isn't physically there, but she will always be there mentally.

Answer 7

You will never gonna over it. You can't explain or write clearly your pain , and the sadness which you had by losed your loved one for death. It is a real truth which you don't wanna believe it. Each and every second you will madly think won't it be a dream, won't they come back by chance any miracle? It's a big heavy in your mind and heart. I lost my dad & my fiance. I don't know how to explain it.All these years I am thinking about my dad & Fiance every day in some situation. Also I saw lot of people who lost their all family members in civil war in my country. I saw a man whoes whole family was washed out by the water when the Tsunami came. Now days when ever i remember my dad or my fiance i think about those people who lost their family too. I always wonder how they live with all these pain and sadness.

Answer 8

I am so very sorry. I lost my Dad a year and a half ago and just like you described it literally still takes my breath away. It is always with me in everything I do. It changed my entire being but as crazy as it sounds, for the better. My Dad not only to taught me how to live but also how to die. His faith in God was so strong and I know that this world is only seconds compared to eternity. I think with time the hurt will ease but will never go away. Love is strong and because of that it endures forever. Death only separates us for a short while but I know that it is agonizing. Remember that your mom loves you and wants you to be happy and will see you soon! I will pray for you.

Answer 9

I know how you feel. The hurt never goes away. I lost my mother over 9 years ago and some days it feels like it was yesterday. She was my best friend, as with yours. You can talk to her every day and tell her that you love and miss her. Tell her about your accomplishments, and your problems. I believe that a mothers love is always with us. Even death cant stop something that strong and wonderful. God bless you every day my friend.

Answer 10

I lost my sister a little over a year ago very unexpectantly and I can tell you that the hurt never goes away. People just tell me that you learn to live with it but it will always hurt. My sister was my best friend and I miss her every moment. Just always remember the wonderful times you had together. No one can ever take those memories away.

Answer 11

Sincere Sympathy in loosing your Mother. The truth is, it will never go away. My parents are both gone. Everyday, I have the great urge to call my Mother. Then I realize, she is gone. I then have such a lonely feeling, thinking, I can never call my Mother. All I can tell you is this. With time, the lonliness will get better. Time will heal somewhat. If you think about the loss, it will seem like only yestserday. But even on your own deathbed, you will think of your Mother and Father. But you have to live on with you own life. Only God knows what hour He will come to call you Home.