There's no section for morality, so, let me ask this here?

Question

Here's the situation:

My sister Dorothy (20) is married to a man named Matt (20), and had two children with him, Samantha (3) and Xavier (2). Dorothy met Matt in a Residential School for problem children. He has Depression, she has BiPolar Disorder and is a Patheological Liar. She has done drugs throughout the entire marriage, and because of it, both of her children have delayments with speaking and their motorskills. For the past year or two, she had been coming home less and less frequently. During those year(s), she was also cheating on her husband, but he was cheating on her as well. The entire family was living in the apartment with my stepfather and I. Finally, a few months ago, she left the house to live with her BOYFRIEND who worked in the Detox clinic she went to. Her boyfriend doesn't want her to see her children or to associate with her family. Recently, we found out she is pregnant, but, still has not divorced her husband. And more recently, we found out her drug abuse m

akes it so she has only one year left to live.

She also admitted the only reason she had children was to get out of the residential school.

However, I am not sad over the fact she is going to die.

Is it truely wrong to not mourn and feel bad for my dying sister whose brain has been decayed by all the drugs she has done?

To Gracie who said she's my only sister...

... I have 9 other sisters besides her, and three brothers. I'm the youngest out of all of us.

... people suggest to pray for her.

Okay, I'm Pagan. She's Catholic. She says she's not going to die because God loves her too much for that to happen, and that she's been too good for that to happen. u_u()

Look, Xavier and Samantha are adorable kids. :D

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e183/Yuki3kk0/Family/0869055-R1-008-2A.jpg <~~ Picture of Xavier

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e183/Yuki3kk0/Family/0869055-R1-020-8A.jpg <~~ Picture of Samantha

30 minutes left for answering...

Answer 1

Sometimes the face of death wears the mask of the king of mercy.

Answer 2

Being bipolar does not give an excuse for her *child abuse* in that, she only became pregnant to leave the school she was in, she continued to use while pregnant; and that she didn't love the guy she had the kids with is bad enough. These kids are going to need a positive role model, and hopefullly you will be able to take that role. Now as to your sister, you don't have to be sad for her. She made her own destiny and she can change it too. If she really wanted to be off drugs, she would be, and if she really cared about herself (in the first place) she would not have had children for an ulterior motive. My sister is a pathological liar and has chemical imbalances too. It so happens that she had a child to hook the guy she was with, and now they are married and living with my parents. (my sis is 18) It has caused equal amounts of joy and pain, but she should have waited until she found the right one, because they fight constantly, and in the end, the child suffers. She had postpartum depression (I think she still does) and my mother won't take her to be evaluated. So if they were living on their own, Goddess knows what could be happening. Be grateful that she and her children are under your roof; this way you are part of their lives, and you can pick up where she has left off.
This Boyfriend. I would never let some guy tell me I couldn't be with my kids. He works at the Detox clinic, so he knows how susceptible drug addicts are to suggestion (especially if he is promising her a new life). He's no good for her or anyone around her. I'm thinking of you, and your sister, in my prayers.
Blessed Be.

Answer 3

Wow. And I thought I had problems (and I do).

No, you are not wrong to adjust to this situation in a mature way and recognize the limits to what you can do to improve the situation. And I think you are adjusting maturely to this situation.

On the other hand, do not be surprised if you feel an emtional outburst at some point along the journey. That too is natural. The loss of a family member, presumably a loved one (at some point I'm sure you loved your sister, if not now), takes its emotional toll.

But by no means should you feel guilty or bad about the way you feel or the way you're handling this.

I hope this is as painless as possible for you.
Peace.

Answer 4

Uh, the next time you see her? Tell HER that if God allowed her Son Jesus to die on the cross then what make YOU think he's going to save YOU?

I'm sorry, no 16 year old- Pagan or otherwise- should have to endure the pain you're going thru.

However, remember the old saying "Its your bed, you made it, now lie in it?" She's done a lot of drugs, she's brought essentially unloved, unappreciated, and brain damaged children into this world, she's a user of other people and now she's going to die?

I am not passing judgement on her, I am simply clairifying what you have written.

The best advice I can give is to find the one and true God (and I don't mean Catholic, either) and since your Pagan- tell me, what does your rocks and trees and grass and mud puddles say about life after death?

Wouldn't it make MORE sense to worship the Supreme God who CREATED those items in the first place? Why settle for second best when you can have THE best.

Good luck-Orc

Answer 5

You never said if your a religious person or not in which case you get two answers. If you have a religious belief you should ask a pastor or priest to help you deal with any guilt or sadness you might have for this person as we all make mistakes, some more than others. Christianity teaches he who is without sin cast the first stone which brings me to the second answer. You can't change how a person acts or feels unless you lock them up and drug them. Your sister does have a mental illness which has destroyed her life and has disrupted the lives of people who love her. As long as you made an effort to help and listen you shouldn't feel guilty about the choices she willing made. Pray she finds peace before she dies and if not God will sort it out when she does die.

Answer 6

I have a sister that was doing drugs since the age of 16 she also has two kids , she was never married but with the father of her kids for over 10 years , they both cheated numerous times, finally she moved back home with my mom , and my mom took the kids my sister left and didn't come home for over six months when she did come home it was for a few days my mother moved and my sister came home once again, she hasn't touched anything in over two months, no drugs , no booze, no smokes, nothing at all, she said she went through something really bad but won't say what it was. like you i thought i lost my sister forever, she acts a lot better since she's cleaned up.i never would have thought after over 18 years of her drug use she would just stop. i guess what i am saying is don't give up on her you never know when you'll get your sister back

Answer 7

You are right, No child deserves to go through what they go through, they did not ask to be here simple and that is what alot of parents fail to realize. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am not here to jugde becaus i have no rights. All i can say is drugs is the devil. It makes people do things that they probally never would even think about if they were not on it. Its sad to say but when people are on drugs they dont see family or love ones all they see is the drug and what they need to do to get there next fix. Its horrible! People have kids for all the worng reasons and it the children that suffer not you are I. We can take care of our selves, they cant. I am sure it is vvery painful for you to see and know what you do, but noone will never know why. Why do we live in a world where children are mother and fatherless. Where people are out there paying so much money just to have a child and cant. when there are people out there who dont even care for there own. Its a sad world we live in.... But think about you have people they have there children hungry, staving and they will go out an buy drugs instead of feeding there baby.........its called drugs........... I wish you and your family the best and I hope one day you can find in your heart to forgive your sister and if you dont, you have your reasons why....
w

Answer 8

There seems to be enough obstacles keeping you from sympathizing for your sister, and the status quo says you are SUPPOSE to feel a certain way when a family member is near death. I imagine you've had to remove a part of yourself just to deal with her everyday antics, but mourning for family isn't a limited time offer. You are within your rights to not mourn her before she dies, at the funeral, or any standardized space in time if you are not moved to do so. Pagan or not, any belief system has a form of prayer. It doesn't have to be from a Catholic stance or any traditional form at all, you may just think "I hope she gets to where she wants to go." Simple as that. Prayer is a act of recognizing and connecting to the source of power higher than ourselves, and it will be in that communion where your spirit will mourn for your sister in your OWN way. No need to force it or allow yourself to be thought of as weird just because it seems to be there for everyone else or not for you.

Answer 9

i wouldn't say it's good that you don't think you should mourn your sister, but i think i get where you are coming from.

You're probably just upset at your sister right now, in time it may hurt you that you lost her and never really said goodbye. if she dies you should still go to the funeral, even if you can't cry for her. If you can say goodbye, not only are you better for it, but you may heal better emotionally later on, when you've come full circle.

I don't know how you might take psychology, but it's likely you are in the anger stage after hearing she may die in a year.

so take that feeling you have now with a grain of salt, your feeling may change a year from now, or 5 years from now.

Answer 10

As a Pagan you know you cannot change her. It is up to her to change herself. Hopefully she will. I feel sorry for the situation you and your family has been put in because of her choices and I the only advice I can offer for what you can do that doesn't break with Pagan tradition is to light a yellow candle for enlightenment and quietly meditate on its energy and offer the energy to her if she so wishes it. That way you are not intruding upon her free will.

I sincerely hope that things turn for the better but I feel that she is becoming a victim of the Karma she is now putting out. Bright Blessings for you and your family!!

Answer 11

too good for that to happen, and yet she knows that every day good people die, children even die. Death is as much a part of life as is birth.

being as Pagan beliefs are very closely aligned with Buddhist beliefs as far as death, and the processes that precede reincarnation, i suggest you read the Tibetan Book Of The Dead to more fully understand what is happening.
if she is a drug user, she will remain a drug user but this will be her "imagination".

the way you are feeling is not wrong, it is how you feel and you don't have to try to change that.