My girl and I have been dating for two years. Last month I proposed. I gave her a big ring, got down on my knees and "popped the question" in front of her family. She said yes and that she truly loved me and couldn't wait for us to marry.
Two days ago she found out that the ring I got her was cubic zirconia and now she won't even speak to me. The last thing she told me was that I was cheap and that she had to rethink my proposal.
She knows that I'm a poor college student. I do the best I can. How can I win her back?
2006-08-21 07:38:21 · 11 answers · asked by Johnny Zero 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not worth the effort.
2006-08-21 09:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by iamlsu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its quite possible that she is more upset at the thought of being misled than having a cheap ring. Did you lead her to believe that her ring was a real diamond? Did you say "this is all I can afford right now but when I am able I'll get you a real one or did you just let her assume it was real only to have someone else point out that it was fake? Getting her a really big fake ring didnt' really help either. I am sure she would have been happy with a smaller real diamond than an obnoxious fake one. The engagement ring is a symbol of your love for her so I can't quite blame her for gettting pissed when you spent $30 on the ring every girl waits her whole life to get. If you are a poor college kid then maybe you don't need to be getting married right now anyway. The smarter thing to do would have been to wait until you graduate and are able to provide a good life for yourself and for her. Trust me this is probably not about the ring itself but about being misled in to believing it was only to find out it wasn't.
To answer your question on how to win her back. If she said yes the first time then she obviously loves you. I'd recommend sitting her down and explaining that your didn't realize it at first but you realize your mistake now. Tell her that you thought by getting her a big ring it would make up for it not being real but you realize that was wrong. Tell her your finances are tight but if she is willing to stick with you (which i assume she was prepared to do before anyway) until you graduate and get financially stable that you will get her a "proper" ring because she's worth it. Don't blame her for feeling cheated. Girls wait their whole lives for that. I can assure you almost any girl would react the same.That doesn't make them goldiggers.
2006-08-21 08:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is right to be upset. You deceived her with a fake ring. You probally embarrss her with her friends and family by leading her to believe that it was a diamond. It's not about being cheap, but what she is upset by the fact that you think that she is not worth being proposed with a real diamond.
You hould have been honest with her and tell her that is was a cubic zirconia and that you will replace it after college on your anniversary with a real one.
You blew it, is not about the value of the ring, is about the lie and that you didn't put the effort into doing things the right way, either buy buying a real diamond or by telling her the truth.
If your lady is worth a diamond, get her one! Otherwise, if you can't afford to get married then don't.
Good luck
2006-08-21 08:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal feeling on this is that if she's that concerned with material things, what does she REALLY think about marriage? If all she wants is an expensive ring, she doesn't have any clue about the value a relationship could and should have.
That aside, sit down with her and talk to her about the whole situation. Ask her if she's just upset because she found out the ring wasn't a diamond and is feeling like she was lied to of if she is upset soley by the fact that it isn't a diamond. There's a difference here. If she felt like you weren't honest with her, then you can deal with that issue. If she is that focused on the diamond, tell her your situation and see what she thinks about getting a diamond for a future anniversary. There is also the possibility that the enormity of marriage just kinda hit her and she's having a touch of reality check. This isn't all bad and might very well pass.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I wish you luck.
2006-08-21 07:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats simple, now every woman wants a rock bigger than the next and REAL of course. But the ring is not what she is marrying and that is what you should tell her. that was really shallow. i was in the same situation, my fiance proposed to me and every thing was beautiful, french restaurant candle lite room and everyone applauded just all eyes on me basically, then there was a ring that the waitress said was just cute. i know it was small and was a little upset but the difference is i did not say anything because it was from the heart and besides the rock i got on the wedding day was a BAD MUTHA******!!!! so just tell her that this is all you could afford for now but you can change rings for the ceremony. if she dont then you dont need to marry no one that shallow anyway because she is throwing away two years for a ring it has to be more to it.
2006-08-21 09:19:51 · answer #5 · answered by shay80800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really loved you, she wouldn't care that the ring is cubic zirconia. You shouldn't have to win her back, she should be begging you for forgiveness. And, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that places more emphasis on the value of her engagement ring instead of the value of your love? I don't know what you're going to college for, but it better be something lucrative if you want to keep her happy for the rest of your life. Just tell her it's all you can afford right now and if she loves you she'll accept it and maybe she'll get a better ring later on when you're making more money.
2006-08-21 08:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but I think that's a ridiculous reaction. I mean... Is the person you are going to marry more important? Or the ring you're wearing. Just give her some time. If she really loves you, then she'll realise what a silly thing she's said.
If not, then she's not worth it.
2006-08-21 07:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by Honey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well im very sorry to say so, but that was VERY unmature of her, and very unthoughtfull. She should be gratefull that you got her any thing @ all!
well tell her how you feel. and if she truly loved you, Something as stupid as that shouldnt matter. Pioneers used horse sheo nails and bent them for rings. She should feel lucky that she even got something as nice as that.
2006-08-21 08:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by Proud2bgoth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is mad because of cubic z, you dont need her back she is self centered and money hungry. she is putting the value of a ring over you(the man she is to marry) then i say goodbye to bad rubbish. your life in the future will be much better off!!!!!!!!
2006-08-21 07:50:28 · answer #9 · answered by lovelady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt deserve you, but if u get married call me ok ill be your photographer
2006-08-21 08:52:40 · answer #10 · answered by Abraham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋