What happened?

Question

I am a 30 year old divorcing mother. My husband had an affair, and it ripped my heart out.
I went out about 2 months ago, not expecting to meet anybody, just to get myself out of this house. But it happened, a man who I thought was so wonderful, introduced himself to me, and we ended up talking for many hours that night. He asked for my phone number, and he called me the next day, and continued to call me a few times a week, just to see how I was doing. I could really talk to this man. He is older than myself by 20 years, but I didn't care. I felt comfortable with him, and it made me feel good at a time in my life where I feel my worst. I had meant with him a few times, he was always a gentlemen. Two weeks ago, he had me over to his house, and I ended up staying most of the night. I fell for this man fast. Since then he hasn't called me. I tried calling him, but no answer. I just want to know what happend. Is it wrong of me to want an honest explaination from him? I feel hurt again.

Answer 1

Always remember, your vulnerable when you just come from a relationship and its easy for a new man to make you think his glitter is gold until you see it aint nothing but gold plated showing you things aren't always what they seem.

Sometimes we are in pain we look for others to make us feel worthy and I suggest you take it slow and deal with what brought you to this point.

You say your heart was already ripped out so don't let the rest of you be taken by the actions of this man and start feeling that you are more than worthy to meet someone who genuinely cares for you and your well being.

Since you have a child, I say put more focus on your life as mother because when your sad it take away a moment of happiness you can have with your child.

Maybe he had a family emergency or fell ill just suggestions which I will only allow a excuse of not calling in the age of cellphones.

If this is how he will conduct himself already this could be signs of problems ahead.

You need not fall for a man fast and take it slow and date him for awhile to see if he has any potential for a future for you.

I would give him only (3 days) at the most to get in touch or I will have to make a decision whether he is worth any more of my time.

Answer 2

It happens, U trust somebody because U care 4 him and U feell that he cares 4 U 2...U feel everything is right, get intimate and then nothing...they vanish or act shady and tell U how busy they are and that they don't want a relationship...

if U get the chance 2 talk 2 him, just tell him that U feel played and all the other things U wanna tell him and move on...

or if U decide U don't need that, forget him and don't call anymore...

it happened 2 me...a coworker that I considered a good friend was there 4 me when I needed him, used 2 be so considerate and was showing that he really liked me... we went out a few times, and as we were friends for a long time I felt I could trust him, and he made me feel so special, so we slept 2gether...ever since he is just talkin casually 2 me as if nothing ever happened...not caring that it hurts...

some players just like the run...

U deserve more than this...

Good luck.

Answer 3

Hey babe, ok Sucks to here about ur situation, but heres the truth, I think u latched on to this man so HARD because ur feeling some lonliness,and needed a void filled. Give urself some time, are u really ready for the dating scene? The no call backs, the games, the lies??? I dont think so. Take some time to get urself together first. I think this man saw u as a easy conquest because u were a bit "emotional". Is this because u told him details of ur life 2 soon?? Hang in there hun, it happens to the best of us, u just been out the "game" awhile and its hitting u harder. U know u dont need a man, take urself to a movie, manicure, spa day, or invite a friend, I did this when I had a man, these are just little ways to have those independent days. I know you'll be just fine!! God Bless

Answer 4

Spending most of the night? Does that mean that you were 'nose to nose and toes to toes' at a certain point? there are some a$$ holez that will just charm your panties off, then once off they are done with you. That is THIER problem. Or it could be that there was some sort of empaphany at the time that you spent most of the night that makes him think that he has no future together. I dont realy know but there are plenty of dix out there. Try and contact him a couple more times then be sure you do the last one in suich a way that there is no doubt that you have actually contacted him and say you dont know why he is not around but it would only be considerate to tell you that much. It is not asking so much. And if he still does not, I would suggest forgetting him, he is immature mentally and you are better off without him

Answer 5

You're not wrong to want an explanation, but I doubt that you will get it. There might be a perfectly good explanation, like he had an emergency to attend to and is out of town or he fell ill and is in hospital. Unlikely, but possible. You know where he lives, so you know his address. Send him a letter, since he's unavailable by phone. I just wonder whether, on that night together, you pressured him for a committment. Or you declared your feelings and scared him off that way. Or, (forgive me for this) the sex was bad and he decided that you just weren't compatible. Whatever the reason, whether you ever find out or not, look upon it as a pleasant interlude and move on. You've got enough to deal with without dwelling on this.

Answer 6

Sometimes when we are on the rebound, we confuse lust for love, when in reality, you were just attracted to him, which is normal when someone is going through something like a divorce, there is not a thing wrong for wanting an explanation from this guy, but I am not going to tell you that he was a one night stand because I am not so sure of that, maybe he has went out of town kind of quickly for a personal reason or something, I will just try to leave him a message by e-mail, voice mail, and may be by text if possible, after that I would leave it alone because then you look like a stalker, but if he is a good guy, he will reach out for you as soon as he can....I hope
Good Luck......

Answer 7

Its not wrong to want an explanation from him ....the only problem is I dont think you will get one. You have to remember that right now you are not yourself, it takes time to heal and you mind is definatly clouded and you are vunerable and thats one thing an older man can sense and totally take advantage of. A man 20 years older and not married ....do you really have to ask yourself why?? I am sorry that this man hurt you and maybe you never know he might call you again but I would definatly question his motives. Really right now you should give your self a while to heal and take your time and dont rush into anything. Hangs out with friends and have fun.....when you are feeling like you do ...you want someone to care about you and treat you the way you werent and your most likely beating yourself up about all of this. But trust me take your time in you will be feeling confindent, happy and happy to be rid of your previous man. Dont settle for someone just because they are there, you may not want them there in a month :-) Good Luck

Answer 8

Sometimes people think they like someone and then feelings change..It doesnt mean there is something wrong with u, just maybe you werent what he was looking for..Did u talk alot about your ex or did u appear to needy? These are two things that could turn a guy off...If u need an explanatiion from him then call him and ask..But it just might be easier to let it go (what if he hurts your feeling)..You will find love again, just be patient..When u least expect it Mr. Right will come...

Answer 9

It appears that you were a victim of the omnipresent "Clean Up Man". He scopes out vulnerable women who may be going through a breakup, a divorce, or just a tough time in their current relationship. He listens. He compliments. He gives all that you feel is missing at that time in your life. He puts a bandage over your broken heart. You trust in him and confide in him and feel like a desirable woman again with him. He beds you and you give him your all because you feel like this is your last hope and he milks it for all it's worth then he fades out of the picture. He has tasted your sweetness and he has moved on to his next prey. I have been a victim of The Clean Up Man before so don't feel like you are alone. If you are going through a divorce, you probably need time to heal and be at peace with yourself. A man can not complete you. You are whole on your own. I am so sorry that this man took advantage of you. He is not worthy of your thoughts or pain. Let it go and use this as one to grow on. Good luck.

Answer 10

That's really wierd. Are you sure something bad didn't happen to him? He could have had a heart attack or something.

I wouldn't assume he was a bad person as most above me seem to think. Yes men want sex but its a lot easier to get it from some who has had it with them before than to start fresh and besides you never said you had sex with him so I'm not so quick to assume. In my experience men are more likely to split if you won't have sex with them as they eventually give up. In either case I believe most people are good and I hope you do too. Even though your husband was not a very good man and even if this man turns out to not be one of the good ones either, they are out there just keep looking.