we get her once a month if we are lucky she is a great kid but her mother treats her like a baby still and always yells at her and puts her down so she has no selfasteem. she is almost 9 and she can't wash or brush her own hair or do things on her own like when she is over here it is like she is scared to ask for something to eat or drink. she opens up to me and we talk a lot and loves coming over and wants to live with us and our 2 girls. when we talked to the case worker she told us that unless there is real danger there is no chance for us to get her to live with us. I hate sending her home with her mother when she tells me she is so unhappy there and her mother never does anything with her she is not even allowed to play with friends or at the park. she had her first birthday party last year (which I gave her) and she cryed cause she had so much fun. what can we do to get her to live with us or make her life better?
2006-08-21 06:41:08 · 7 answers · asked by welchs 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I have a 9 year old step-daughter too...and her bio-mom is a real piece of work. Luckily her bio-mom decided about 3 years ago to sent my SD to live with her father (and me) he has Full Custody now. My SD throws horrible horrilbe fits! Come to find out she has a personality disorder (caused by her bio-mom), Irlen's syndrome, mild spastic dysplasia, asthma, and some feeling loss on the left side of her body.
Anyhow, she still acts like a baby!!!! She won't try to fix her hair and doesn't ask for anything! It drives me crazy
(but we know that she was neglected and emotionally abused when with her bio-mom)
I'd say your best bet would be to get a good lawyer! You could maybe at least get the visitations revised!!! Why does your SD have a case worker?? For child protective or for child support??
I've found that with dealing with the child support (OAG) people that they will all tell you different things, so I don't really take them to serious. Good luck with it all....I wish you the best!!!
2006-08-22 03:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by itsjustme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has a case worker it sounds like there may have been trouble already. The child is suffering from emotional abuse and neglect. She needs to get out of that invironment quick. Emotioanl abuse and neglect can be taken to court. She is old enough to speak her mind to the judge also so that would carry weight with the judge. I hope her dad is a s interested in her as you are. She really needs his unconditional love and acceptance to have a good self esteem! I could just grab her up and hug her hurts sway by the sound of things. It really bothers me when some of the overworkd case workers allow this to go on but I know they are so busy with ppl killing and maiming their kids and having drug babies that this doesn't sound too bad. It is bad because it tis her mind and soul that are hurting and she isn't developing social skills or the skills to take care of herself. God is with you so ask Him for strength. I will pray for you all also. Best wishes.
2006-08-21 06:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That breaks my heart! I sincerely hope that you find a way to take this sweet little girl into your home. It sounds like her mother neglects her and abuses her emotionally. I liked the previous suggestions about contacting an attorney. GOOD LUCK and I'll pray that you get to save her from that witch of a mother.
(Sorry that I didn't really answer your question. I just wanted you to know that you had thoughts, prayers and support)
2006-08-21 17:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Marie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the person who suggested filing for full custody is on the right track. In the meantime keep letting her know how loved and treasured she is. Sometimes all an abused child needs is an ally and a haven to help them survive and thrive. She is lucky to have you as a stepmother.
2006-08-22 20:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by jidwg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for custody. Your step daughter has rights and if this is brought to court she is aloud by law to be given her own lawyer (Child Advocasy Rights Lawyer) She is also aloud to speak with the judge in closed chambers and voice what she wants.
IF she wants to live with you and her father than the jugde will more than likely give that ruling after speaking with your daughter.
2006-08-21 07:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by Val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
weellll the only way i think u can get her to at least spend some time with you is by asking her mom if she can come over for holidays at least she'll stay a while with you,if u are very friendly with her mom you could make her understand that she is destroying her daughter's life otherwise i dont know what else you should do
2006-08-21 07:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by bluecandie89 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yo might want to look into adopting her.
2006-08-21 07:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋