Help my GF keeps having nightmares of when she was raped a longtime ago when she was 7 what can I do? I've done everything I confert her, Ive talked to her about it, I stay up while she sleeps to take care of her, and to wake her up when I hear shes having nightmares. I tell her everythings gonna be ok. I make sure she feels ok and that shes safe. like its making things hard between us like I tell her that we are gonna get through this together and that she doesnt have to do this alone. I tell her I love her everyday and that Ima stick with her No matter what. I do everything right. I don't think it's a matter of what I need to do but i'm her boyfriend and I got be there for her. I don't know what else to do? ok please people I appreciate any answers you give me and thankyou if u help. but please dont tell me something that is just common knowledge. I need someone who can tell me something that I don't know. Thanx if you can help. I would really appreciate it.
2006-08-21 06:40:41 · 17 answers · asked by Gerardo T 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I can relate to your girlfriend, and I can't give you an answer. Everyone is different. Seems like you are doing all that you can for just being her bf.... and what I mean by that is that you aren't certified to do much more that console her and stay up w/ her at night assuring her everything will be okay. The fact that she told you about it is huge... I never tell anyone. Only one of my boyfriends know about it... and ONE VERY close friend. She must trust you immensely... so that's one very encouraging thing to remember when you get discouraged. Make sure you remind her that it wasn't her fault, and that you don't think anything bad towards her for what happened... and that there are bad people out there, but she doesn't have to worry about them anymore, and that you're there to take care of her... and if you love her... that you love her... and all the reasons you love her... It's really just a hard thing to forget, and if it happened so long ago, try to find out what sparked the dreams out of nowhere... and work from that.
Good luck... I hope she gets better... and y'all stick together. It sounds like you care about her immensely.
2006-08-21 06:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by westcoastbeauty79 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok speaking from experience, there isn't much more you can do. Its going to have to be her choice to help herself. I know that sounds crazy but it is. She's going to have to decide to go through the steps of grievance. She's going to have to realize it wasn't her fault. She was a kid, if the same thing were to happen today, then she would be better able to handle the situation. She needs to get ANGRY, that will help a lot believe it or not. She needs to realize she is letting that jerk control her life even though he's not in it. She can't let him make her the victim anymore. It takes a lot of strength. She needs to stand up for herself and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
If its been that long ago then she's been harboring this to the point that it is eating at her. Try to get her into a little counseling, or a support group. Just talking about it outloud can help a lot. Suggest maybe a mild anti depressant even for a while just to give her that extra push she will need. You are a hell of a man to stand by her and help her through this, a lot of men aren't strong enough. Just don't give up on her. She will be just fine, she just needs to accept she can't change the past, but she can keep him from controlling her in the future!! Good luck
2006-08-21 06:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by Chrissy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She really needs to see a councelor. I know it sucks, but you can't help her. Something is not letting her move past what happened to her and it takes a long time, she will never get over it, women can still have nightmares late in there lives, but she needs to get help soon, or it might ruin your relationship. She may not be able to tell you everything but a couceler or psycologist can help her. If you can't afford it there are places that will help you for free, contact your local rape unit and they can direct you further
2006-08-21 06:49:32 · answer #3 · answered by Lovely Lady 27 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a very unfortunate occurrence but all you can do is be patient and understanding. You are not in a position to do anything else, nor should you try. Your girlfriend is in need of therapy and talking about things to you is not what she needs. She needs someone trained in the counseling of rape victims that she can trust 100% and unfortunately, a boyfriend does not qualify. Encourage her to find a mental health pro to talk to about this and be supportive, that's what you can do.
2006-08-21 06:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by sickandtiredinpa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much about the rape has she told you? Was it someone she knew? Was anything ever done about it? If she got no closure from it, then she's still plagued by it. Encourage her to go to counseling, or to a support group, being able to hear stories from other survivors may start to make an impact on her own recovery.
2006-08-21 06:55:25 · answer #5 · answered by Pask 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it a dream? Or did it happen? The fact is these kinds of events have a different meaning than you might think in dream symbology.
If it was an actual event, get professional help to work through her unresolved emotions.
If it is a dream...rape means violence (not sex) and the her unresolved emotions in conscious state could be feeling that she is vulnerable and violated in some way (again, not sexual).
2006-08-21 06:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by jmmevolve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing, but in all honesty it's not enough! She needs professional help to get to the deep fears that are holding her captive!. This is something you are not qualified to do!A professional counselor is one that has the experience to get to the "root" of the problem. Seek one out before she goes off the deep end and you never forgive yourself for not getting her the help she needs!
2006-08-21 06:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, enable me say how sorry i'm which you have been taken care of in one in each and every of those terrible way. I commend you for surviving.... it rather is coming up now for countless motives. you may now have the ability to handle the concern.... you have developed a realtionship that reminds you of those terrible activities, or different issues i haven't seen. although the clarification, you may desire to locate somebody to whom you could communicate the previous activities. i might recommend a therapist, yet close chum, pastor, or somebody else will help. you have shown how no longer common you're!!! know that your indications are well-known, which you're well-known, and which you will do nicely finally!! sturdy luck!
2016-09-29 12:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by vanderbilt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if this will be much help.
why dont u take her to a doctor or somethign. did she ever go to one when she was a child? that might help her and good job to you for being there for her. and umm let see what else can you do. you have done everythign i can think of so just have her go to a therapist because i think u have done all u can.
2006-08-21 06:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by Beca <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she's fortunate to have a caring boyfriend. She's going to need to see a therapist. Issues that are buried deep within your psyche are best treated by a therapist or psychologist.
2006-08-21 06:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by it's me! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋