My ex forwarded me an email he written his WIFE. Never told me he was married in the 1000 emails or 500 phone calls. After reading his email and her reply I realized they are having hard times and issues. Should I be a friend and be a shoulder. I do admire him completely....or reveal how hurt I am by the information because I really wanted to marry him.
2006-08-21 05:39:50 · 46 answers · asked by luvladyblue 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i really believe that things happen for a reason.....
i think you were meant to see that email to save you from future heartache and i think it would be remiss of you to ignore this 'gift' of information.
you sound like a sweetheart so i wont suggest that run for the hills and never speak to him again because it doesnt sound like its in your nature to do so.
but i do suggest that being a 'shoulder to cry on' sounds more like being a doormat to step on to me.
id tell him that you feel empathy that things are not great with his wife and that you respect that he needs his space to work through this.
i would also tell him that you are worth more than being a mistress, a maybe, or a bit on the side. i would tell him that its a shame he did not have the respect to tell you....... but that you do have the self respect to not accept his hidden conditions.
i would then walk away and open the door for a fabulous new man to come your way
best of luck
2006-08-21 05:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be an Angelina Jolie. The "friend" that tore apart Brad and Jennifer. Yeah the couple may be having problems but don't interfere you don't want the weight of being the one who tore their relationship apart. If it's irreparable than they will figure it out on their own. Besides Angelina and Brad apparently aren't having a great time right now either.
I feel bad for you that he didn't tell you he was married, I would drop him like a really bad habit. I know it's hard but worth your sanity and peace of heart/mind.
He's confused and you don't need that, especially if you still care for him, he obviously doesn't care as much for you if he was willing to lead you on (by making you hope he would come back and marry you) even though he got married in the mean time. Getting married isn't something you just forget to mention to another woman you're writing to, he did it on purpose. Player!!! uuugh I hate that it ticks me off. Run from him! Run Like the wind!!!
2006-08-21 05:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would totally ignore the letter. I am not sure why he would forward you such a personal conversation. That is something that should have been kept between them. It sounds like he was afraid you would find out he was married so he forwarded it you so you would know they are having issues. If he tried to contact me I would tell him that he obviously has unfinished business with his wife and until that is done I don't think we should talk. If he tries to say he just wanted to be friends I would say a friend wouldn't have hidden the fact they were married from me.
2006-08-21 05:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is married and how do you know the e mails are real and he didn't write them up himself. I have seen someone writing back and forth to themselves to make a wife leave her husband.
Once you would marry this man what makes you think when you have problems he wouldn't show someone else and leave you for another woman? Getting involved with a Married man is the one of the worst things you can do. Get with him when he is single and divorced. A Real man wouldn't start no new relationship while still being in a "bad" marriage. He would want to wait also.
2006-08-21 05:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been maintaining a friendship with an ex, who never mentioned he was married? He is sooo wrong and does not care about you. He may say that he loves you, but who cares.
He has nothing to offer. He does not benefit your life.
I'm sorry that you are hurt, but don't tell him. He has no respect for your feelings, anyway.
Tell him that you think it's ridiculous that he was hiding his marriage from you and that you do not want to maintain a friendship with him. It's not a discussion. Tell him and the conversation ends. He does not get to say anything back.
2006-08-21 07:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by limendoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, do you really admire someone who has not even told you that he was married? It sounds to me that by his failing to do so and now his little message to you about their problems that this scumbag is looking to make you pity him, so that you give him your sympathy and maybe a lil more. Despite your feelings for him, you really need to let your better judgement rule for you rather then your heart. He definitely has alterior motives for you and even if he comes off completely sincere, I think that hes looking to you to be "the other woman" and that you deserve better then that. Don't allow him to make you his little disposable emotional/physical resort when things go wrong in his marriage. The way that he is acting by coming to his ex rather then to his wife about his problems in not a person to be admired and hopefully you will see that for yourself before you get into a world of drama and problems and its too late. Best of luck to you and please for the love of God, don't waste your time on this guy because once again he's already taken and to be honest it is not your place to be the shoulder he goes to lean on...
2006-08-21 06:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he mistakenly send you this email. Are you one of the reasons they are having hard times. Not purposely, but since you didn't know he was married maybe there are other women in his life like you that he has strung along and his wife has found out about them. Email him and thank him for letting you know he is married. then tell him that you hope his wife leaves his SORRY ***!!
and don't come crying to you. You don't want some one like that in your life he'd do it to you to!
2006-08-21 05:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by Bambi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, it is inappropriate for him to drag *you* into his marital issues. If you guys were *truly* friends, you would have long known he was married. Obviously, there are unresolved issues between you two; it's out of line for him to get you involved. If you're not completely "over" him, you won't be a shoulder... you will be a door mat. He's looking for an ego boost - it's up to you what you decide to do.
2006-08-21 05:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think how would you feel if this very same man was emailing another one of his female friends about your marital issues. I would inform my ex that this isn't something you want to be involved with. He should man up and discuss his personal marital issues with wifey...see how lucky you are for not marrying him. He just sppreeeaadddss all his business around!
2006-08-21 05:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by Goodie66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk. If the e-mail was intentional, then he's a creep. I don't know what his motivation for sending you the e-mail was, but it wasn't a good one.
I'd say leave it alone. If him and his wife are having issues, don't get in the middle, you'll only complicate things and people will be hurt.
If he keeps doing it, confront him about it and let him know he hurt your feelings by not telling you about her in the first place (what a creep! to his wife and you!) and then by trying to put you in the middle of it.
2006-08-21 05:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋