im not a virgin but since i am getting a divorce i have decided to wait til i find someone that i truely love... guys do not seem to understand this.. how can i tell someone i am trying to start something serious with that i have made this decision and make him understand.. i have tried to tell him but he says he is a sexual person and wants it.. but he also says he can wait.. but he doesn't every time we are together he tries.. please help
2006-08-21 05:33:54 · 16 answers · asked by A$#!ey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he says he really likes me.. which is probably just a game to get me to do something.. he says he has never met anyone like me... could be game.. but i feel it is true at the same time.. cause i am different than most females..
2006-08-21 05:42:36 · update #1
ok i have just came out and told him.. he thinks its cause i have an std or something..i try to tell him its not an std .. but i think he still thinks i have one... but he still tries .. which is really gross.. but personality wise this guy is great.. he also thinks i am getting it somewhere else.. i have told him i have another friend.. but we dont do anything either.. this other friend doesn't try anything with me.. we make love with our bodies.. just touching and rubbing with clothes on.. and we both can get off this way.. but the second guy doesn't have the personality that the first one does.. but they are both really cool... hmm so confused.. i think i just need to leave guys alone!!!
2006-08-21 05:54:45 · update #2
Well if you have told him already that you don't want to go there then he should respect your feelings and find other methods for releasing his sexual needs like masturbating. There is no other way to make him understand when you have already told him what to expect from day one. He either gets that you want to not have sex or he doesn't. Not for nothing he may not be someone you should be dealing with at this point in your life. You need a man that's going to be on board with how you feel about things like sex etc. The guy you are with doesn't share the same interest that you do about not having sex maybe he wants to but can't. That's probably why sometimes he says he can wait to have sex but he really can't he's not strong enough to withhold himself. So you may want to real sit down and think about your relationship with him and if it could really work out being that the two of you are really on different pages when it comes down to sex. It's really not fair to you that you have to have someone wanting something you can't give right now and it's not fair to him cause he has needs that can't be taken care of. So therefore the two of you need to sit down and come up with a plan that can benefit the both of you. It maybe one neither one of you want but it will be what's best and health. Good Luck !!!!!
2006-08-21 05:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may say that he understands,but then he still has that urge to have sex. THe male sex drive is the second strongest drive in the human body. THe only thing the body craves more then sex is oxygen. When a guy hasn't had it for awhile it is the ONLY thing on his mind. He may be a great guy and all, but he still needs some relief. If you don't want to slepp with him and you don't want him sleeping with other women, at least give him a BJ a few times a week to keep him happy, or at the very least a hand job.
It's simple a man HAS to releive his sexual urges. One way or another.
2006-08-21 05:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by fireman4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy doesn't respect you, move on. It doesn't sound like he respects you or has the emotional tools to make you feel like the special lady you are!! That won't change. It is clearly his expectation that you satify his needs without him having to satisfy your needs--waiting until you are in love again. It might come to accepting the fact that this one isn't going to work out and you let it go so that you are emotionally available for someone that will treat you right and be interested in satisfying your emotional needs. It could be that sex is the only thing he wants with you.
Wait for a guy who also finds you charming and is dying to please you. He's usually the one who is offering to fix things for you--your computer, your car, whatever. He's also the guy that lets you pick what you want to do for the evening because he wants to make you happy.
PS Don't spend time alone with him in your apartment, insist that he take you out. See if he sticks around.
2006-08-21 05:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by starspangledgirl77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay focused. Keep saying NO and keep your legs closed. If men come and go, so be it. But stay true to your word if you are serious. As you know, the man that respect your wish and continue to see you while waiting patiently for sex even if it never happens may be that friend you need, if not lover.
2006-08-21 05:46:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ntrigue1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand you totally. After the birth of my daughter I decided to wait. Let me tell ya....telling a guy your waiting for marriage and you have a kid...they laugh at you. Just be firm. I personally put them out if they advance. I tell them tell RESPECT ME! I only will be with a man who does. Besides, if you can't keep it in you pants now...what will stop you from cheating on me "Mr. Gotta Have It"
2006-08-21 05:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by luvladyblue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find someone else who can respect your wishes. Know this most men want sex the minute they meet you, and they don;t like to wait. But if someone LOVES you and respects you, they WILL. If he won't, it means he is more interested in getting some action than he is in you.
2006-08-21 05:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesnt respect you enough to wait then you think it is better for him to leave you alone.
2006-08-21 05:41:06 · answer #7 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only a matter of time berfore he finds a willing partner and leaves you.
2006-08-21 05:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is sex so important to people? find one that understands, and i think it needs to be brought up right away. maybe find a online support group
2006-08-21 05:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by sayruh02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a new man. His actions speak louder than his words and he's not respecting you.
2006-08-21 05:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋