Is there anyone out there who has truly, and completly forgiven someone, for doing them a wrong?...?

Question

I have learnt over the years how to really forgive, but it took me a long time to get to this point, before i was so unforgiving to anyone who did me a wrong, but quickly realised that i would want someone to forgive me, so why cant i learn to forgive also.

Does anyone, completely forgive someone who has done them a wrong?... or do we still harbour resentment when we are wronged? who out there can honestly say that they have forgiven someone, people always say i forgive but i'll never forget...but to me this still is not forgiveness, because as long as you remember it drudges up bad feelings again, so who out there has really and truly forgiven someone, and give a brief account of what you forgave them for.

Answer 1

I don't think humans can actually forgive and forget. And sometimes I think that's a good thing. We should learn from our life experiences. But I do think you can still forgive a person for wrong doing against you. You just have to learn not to bring it back up. Realize that it was in the past and you have moved on.

Answer 2

If anyone has truly forgiven someone and forgot, they wouldn't be able to post their story here.

I can be honest and say no, I haven't ever truly forgave anyone. I've had some pretty bad things happen to me, and I'm just not willing to let go. It's not that I dwel, it's that sometimes forgetting isn't always a fix. I'll never forget the things some of those people have done to me. And when I see them from time to time, I'll just do a replay and remember what they've done. In my opinion, that's not bad at all. It reminds me to not let my gaurd 100% down, and to not give them every ounce of my trust. That way history won't repeat itself, because I'll know better the second time around. There are friends that I am okay with now. We hang out, we laugh, we're best friends. But I never forget.

Answer 3

I don't know, I guess it would depend upon the wrong done to me.
Then again I don't think we can ever NOT forget the wrong that another person has caused us.
e.g. I feel I am a loyal person. To my friends & family. I had one friend who we had known each other for 20 years & no matter what when she needed me I would practically drop what I was doing & drive over an hour to her house to talk to her, thinking she would have done the same for me. Then I heard that there were several times when she was here in town & she never even stopped by or called to say HI!!! I was hurt, so I started to step back from that friendship. I realized too late that I was being used. I do not forgive things like that & I guess it's because I'm so big on loyalty, friendship & family.
I think we CAN forgive, but I don't think we CAN forget.

Answer 4

To forgive and forget is wishfull thinking at best and very bad advice at worst. This wonderfully stupid phrase has confused most people to think that forgiveness is the same as absolution. It is not. Forgiveness is a personal thing where you allow yourself to let go of the feelings that are poisoning your mind. To forgive is letting go of the grudge, the hate, the mistaken feelings of vengeance. Forgiveness is really an intellectual excessive where you realize that you do not understand the whole picture, and that you should not let circumstances that you cannot control rule your life.

However, just because you forgive someone of an action that you deem unfair, that does not mean that you should forget that action. I forgave my ex-wife for trying to control my life, however that does not mean that I will forget what she has done in the past and start trusting her again. I just do not let the past rule my present or future. She has her life and I have mine and I do not dwell. She still tries to get back into my life, because she will never find someone like me again, but I would be stupid to forget what she has done and let her try to control me again.

Forgiveness is not absolution. I cannot say it enough. When people equate the two is when they find it hard to forgive because they feel that they are making themselves vulnerable to the same wrongs as before.

Answer 5

What a great question. It's also difficult to answer.
I would like to think I have forgiven people that come and go in my life. I didn't forgive them until recently. i just decided to let it all go.
I have realized we are all human, and can mess up. I used to think people should be punished when they do someone wrong, but that's not right. They end up punishing themselves anyways with there own guilt, consience, thoughts.
I forgive myself for thinking Im a superwoman, who shouldnt have any flaws when I'm human and should have flaws.
I forgive that guy I love so much, who's so dear to my heart. I forgive him for telling me he see's himself sleeping with me every night, and that he thinks I am the one even though he took off and never called me again. I forgive him, because I don't know what he could of been going threw, also because he's human, maybe he changed his mind, that's ok. I now wish him the best in life, and hope he gets pure raw love, love that can move mountains. I want him to have that, even if it's not with me.
I forgive some friends who have taken off once I have fully helped them in there lives.(males and females) I understand not everyone can have a 2 way street friendship. I forgive you for not even asking me how I am doing, or if I need to talk about any issues bothering
me. I'm just glad I was there each and every time to help you, at least I know I reached out my hand and helped. I just hope all your wishes come true, and you have nothing but happiness in your lives. I forgive you all, and will hold onto the memories that we have. That's something to smile about.
I forgive my Godfather for mistreating my Godmother for many many many years. I forgive him because she's in heaven now, happy, and not in pain. I forgive him, he's human, and quite frankly, I don't know what it's like to be a man since I am a woman. I don't know what he could of thought, or gone threw, I just know that everyone on earth deserves equal happiness including him.

Answer 6

It took me a long time to learn what true forgiveness was. I finally realized that when we forgive someone,it does not mean we condone their actions, it simply means we are completely releasing any feelings we have about the deed. I have learned that true forgiveness is for the one wronged. It makes you feel better to move on and let things go.
The person that did the wronging has to live with the consequences and guilt until they too learn to forgive...themselves.


Blessings )O(

Answer 7

To forgive is one thing, you can forgive someone completely yet not forget what has been done in the past.
The old saying goes, Fool me once Shame on you, fool me twice, Shame on me.
I've had people betray me and forgiven them, only to have them do it again. There have been some who did not betray my trust intentionally or did so with good reason and that I can not only understand but I have forgiven completely. Talking to them when you see(or think you see) an issue coming can make your friendship stronger.

Answer 8

Yes, I've truely forgiven people who did me wrong.

The reason that I can let go is:
- Dissolve my ego. ie. my superior sense of self.
- Put myself in the other person's shoe, try to be understanding.
- Look only into the good virtues of the person, and be please with them.
- Knowing that holding on to *grudge* does nobody any harm, but myself.
- Don't even think about revenge, because even the thought of it creates a vicious cycle that contamintes my own psyche. Be nice to myself.
- Fortunate people are nice guys, because they're happily satisfied. Only unfortunate ones will do people wrongs. So, be compassionate and have pity to those people.
- Most of all, all the people that are in my life some time or other, is there for a reason. God wants me to learn a lesson for my soul's evolution. Be thankful.

Answer 9

Yes. My fiance' cheated on me early in our relationship (13 years ago). We worked through it, and I learned to let go of the hurt and resentment, because it was in the past, and he showed me through his words and his actions over the next two years (I put him through serious hell during that period...) that he was sorry, knew it was wrong, and that he wasn't going to do it again. He earned back my trust, unconditionally.

I can think about it and there is no pain or hurt. We can even joke about things that would have been verboten during the rebuilding period. And while I can still remember a lot of things from that time, I don't bother - it's in the past and has been addressed and dealt with, so doesn't have bearing on our current lives.

In fact, our relationship wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for that period - we came away from it with a stronger devotion to each other, changed habits and ways of looking at things, and a deep ability to communicate with each other about anything.

Answer 10

Ever since I was a little kid I never held resentment against anyone...I always let things go...I just was born or raised that way...so yeah I guess I have forgave a lot of people. but as to a paticular thing...I can't say because I never made anything a paticularly big deal. I haven't been wronged in a way that would be so serious that I would have to struggle with it.